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Going off to college without any dating experience-is that bad?

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Replies to: Going off to college without any dating experience-is that bad?

  • romanigypsyeyesromanigypsyeyes Registered User Posts: 33,833 Senior Member
    Because, of course, condoms never fail :D
  • beachlover15beachlover15 Registered User Posts: 511 Member
    No but they are better than nothing.
  • romanigypsyeyesromanigypsyeyes Registered User Posts: 33,833 Senior Member
    Did I say otherwise? But honestly, casual sex is quite dumb if you know anything about sti statistics.

    No problem with sex. None at all. Just wish people would be more careful.
  • beachlover15beachlover15 Registered User Posts: 511 Member
    I didn't say you said otherwise.

    Anyways sweetheart, don't let your inexperience bother you. College is the time for experimenting and having fun!
  • AeroMikeAeroMike Registered User Posts: 281 Junior Member
    You might have some people who try to take advantage of you because you're inexperienced. There's also some who will not want to date you because they don't want a clingy girlfriend (like many first-timers are). Of course, there are others like myself who value that a girl doesn't sleep around with a bunch of guys.

    Go into relationships with the mindset that every person you date is a learning experience. Give most guys at least a first date, they might surprise you in some way. Do not commit too quickly. In college (or anywhere out of high school) a few dates don't mean exclusivity or boyfriend/girlfriend status. Make sure you're good for each other before moving to that step.

    And remember you're in college to learn. Dating can take up a lot of your time, but if you find a smart and supportive guy who cares about you, you'll benefit from the relationship a lot.
  • dpsu2012dpsu2012 Registered User Posts: 21 New Member
    you'll find plenty of friends with benefits ;)
  • AeroMikeAeroMike Registered User Posts: 281 Junior Member
    I don't understand what people have with casual sex. I don't think sex is evil/bad or anything like that, but what's the appeal? Go have sex with someone you don't love, hope there's no pregnancy, and that you don't get an STI. Ever thought that if you just want sex, you'd still get more from a stable relationship than you would with a bunch of one-night stands? All while having no risk of STIs (since it's a monogamous relationship), and if there is a pregnancy, it's easier to deal with. Commitment issues maybe?
  • DizzyingDizzying Registered User Posts: 168 Junior Member
    condoms are generally highly effective. yes, there's still risk involved, but me getting in a car several times a week is much riskier than me having occasional sex with a few people. and sometimes you don't WANT a relationship; that's the point. it's nice to hook up with someone and not have to worry about anything else.

    as someone who has been in a relationship and also had one-night stands, i think there's a time and place for both for some people. judging someone because they don't share your lifestyle is not the way to go.
  • yearbookstalkeryearbookstalker Registered User Posts: 102 Junior Member
    I know condoms are effective and they should be used w/ birth control and all that jazz-I've taken health class/have common sense lol.
    How often do most college students switch up partners? Do a lot of people sleep with/hook up someone different almost every time they go out or do people hook up with someone for a few weeks, then if things go sour, they try to find someone else to take their place? Or is it all pretty equal, along with monogamous relationships?
  • AeroMikeAeroMike Registered User Posts: 281 Junior Member
    There's no judging from me, I just wanted to hear the logical reasoning for it. I ride motorcycles, which must be many times more dangerous than casual sex. Still, since I'd rather have relationships anyways, I don't really do it.

    I think it just comes down to personal preference in the end
  • beachlover15beachlover15 Registered User Posts: 511 Member
    Do what makes you feel good OP. Go for it and be safe.
  • DizzyingDizzying Registered User Posts: 168 Junior Member
    i'm sure it varies from school to school, but from my experience there's a little of everything. i'd say weekly random hookups are definitely most prevalent among people who are the most social, but there are also tons of people who go out who are in relationships or are single and choose not to hook up. there are also the people who go out often but only occasionally hook up. at my school the dating scene is a little lackluster but i'm sure at a bigger school you'd be able to find plenty of that too. you should be able to do pretty much whatever you want!
  • downstagedownstage Registered User Posts: 56 Junior Member
    Sleeping with someone you KNOW is in a relationship does. I'm so sick of people "slut-shaming" women for the exact same behaviors we praise men for. Either both sexes can be considered "sluts" or neither sex is.

    Well said!

    And you'll be fine. My first kiss was at nineteen and my first relationship at twenty. Just use protection and never be afraid to say "no". This is coming from a guy, by the way.
  • acollegestudentacollegestudent Registered User Posts: 1,551 Senior Member
    OP, do what makes you happy (not just physically but emotionally) and stick with your own values, whatever they may be - don't listen to other people who tell you what college should be about for you (like experimenting or having fun). I don't think college is about sex, and I certainly don't think that's what makes it fun, so it very much depends on the person. Make the decision for yourself and don't let people on CC or elsewhere pressure you into it.

    And P.S., you can date and have a relationship without having sex. Wait until you are ready, whether you feel you are ready at a certain time, a certain age, after you are in a committed relationship, or after you are married.

    I know of AT LEAST three or four people from college (and now, into my mid-20's) who are waiting for marriage, myself included - and only one (not me) is doing it for religious reason. And by the way, all the people I mentioned have been in one or multiple relationships, not always with a partner that shared this value but who was fine with respecting their values and waiting.

    My point is, there will be people on both sides, but figure out what's right for YOU.
  • OsakaDadOsakaDad Registered User Posts: 1,200 Senior Member
    This is coming from a Dad. The bottom line is just make sure that you get interested in and get involved with other good kids just like you. Don't rush it. Don't worry about it. Join at least two clubs and be social. Be yourself. Find a boy who questions life just like you and don't be concerned about "experience". Be concerned about the quality of the boy you choose -- and be open at the same time. You may be surprised by who you are really attracted to. That person could be completely opposite to what your image of perfection is. Say yes to a lot of dates and say no when it doesn't feel right. Also, don't be afraid to ask a guy out. My kid was very shy and a proud nerd. His longtime girlfriend asked him out at first. That was several years ago and they are still going strong. By the way, the nerds and Asians that you hang out with could very well be the best place to start dating. Nerds = great careers and often caring loyal boyfriends who actually listen. Asians = strong family values that last a lifetime.

    One more thing -- nothing attracts attention like a person that cares for themselves. Exercise, eat right, treat yourself special. Experiment with different styles without regard to what others think. Don't wait to start dating to start blossoming. Do it for yourself right now.
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