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At a Loss.

JayD94JayD94 Registered User Posts: 5 New Member
I am currently in a very odd place.

I am only in my second semester of college, and yet I feel that it's getting to be too much.

Starting the second week of school (back from winter break), I already felt that I was drowning in homework. I felt as if I had no way out of it. When I attempted to do homework, I could not concentrate at all. It was not due to Facebook or texts, I just COULD NOT concentrate. My mind was/is working at an unnecessarily-high speed. I just can't control it. This, of course, caused me an incredible amount of stress. This stress led to a sense of hopelessness, which caused me to quit even trying to do my work. I have stopped going to classes since the middle of the second week of school, and I just continue to feel incredibly amounts of guilt and fear. I feel that whatever is going on in my mind has taken hold, and it is not easing its grip.

Some background: I have had depressive episodes in the past which have made day-to-day life seem impossible (and it definitely seems to be some sort of episode right now). I have had (academic) difficulties like this before, but this is the first time that I can't seem to shake it off. Most concerning is that whatever is going on has started to take a physical toll. My body has started to have aches, I have had three colds within the last two months (I RARELY get sick, ever) and I have had my period twice in one month.

Currently, I don't know whether to stay in school or take a medical withdrawal.

I have been seeing a therapist for about a month and a half, but school caused me to slip up on my progress. My parents are incredibly upset that their only child is even considering "quitting" college, but at the same time, all I do right now is sit in my dorm and cry/worry.

So, my main question is, would a withdrawal actually help? If not, how on earth do I get caught up with nearly two-weeks worth of work in just a few days?

I just want to make my parents (and myself) happy. And right now, the three of us are very far from that.

Thanks.

JDP

Replies to: At a Loss.

  • BrownParentBrownParent Registered User Posts: 12,776 Senior Member
    Sorry you are having this episode. You will have to tell your parents that you are having a mental health problem and it is more important to focus on getting that resolved than finishing the semester. It has nothing to do with being only child or one of six. ?? You are going to school for yourself and for your future, not to live some fantasy life for them after all. Have you looked into the withdrawal policies at your college yet? Do that right now, because if you do things by certain dates the penalties may be lessened. It does seem it will be very hard to catch up. You could try to drop to the minimum amount and catch up just on a smaller set of classes. Not going to class is the worst way to proceed. If you just couldn't manage it and you aren't goofing off I suppose things must be severe. You should have also gone to the health center at school. It might be a good idea to go there now and try to have some sessions to help you through this decision. Why aren't you discussing this with your therapist?.

    You should go to your college adviser and discuss the withdrawal procedure. Hopefully you are in time to drop the classes without penalty. Then you can just resume next semester. Otherwise there might be repercussions and tyou can discuss that with the dean. Check it out now and let us know. Act now for the most options.
  • JayD94JayD94 Registered User Posts: 5 New Member
    Thank you BrownParent. I truly value your input.

    You are correct in saying that I am not skipping class simply to goof off. My reason for skipping class is that my classes have a heavy participation grade, so, in my mind, skipping was the best way to avoid conflict (both from not doing my work or having to explain my situation).

    As far as my therapies go, this actually HAS been a big-ticket item on the table for us. My therapist is 100% supportive of whatever I do, it's just my parents' disapproval I fear. My therapist has set up a few family sessions to address this.

    I will make it to my college's advisor first thing tomorrow morning.

    Thank you so much again.
  • harvestmoonharvestmoon Registered User Posts: 954 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through a rough time, Jay. I'm glad that you're seeing a therapist and are working on everything. Most people can't even take that first step, so good for you! That's definitely a good and positive sign.

    Also, is this your third or fourth week into the semester? If it's only the third, then you can possibly still continue the semester if you want to. I don't think it's completely hopeless at this point. Like BrownParent said, see if you can drop down to the minimum of 12 credits. IF you want to pursue this route, then contact your professors immediately and have medical documentation ready to show that you've been seeing a therapist and have been going through a rough patch. They may have strict attendance policies, but if you talk to them and say that you're willing to improve and catch up, then they might be able to work with you on making up content so that you could pass.

    Again, this is totally up to you. Dig deep and see what you want to do. Maybe try dropping a class or two and seeing if you can work with your professors. If you're already at the 4th week and so missed almost two weeks of classes, this might be harder, but you won't really know until you talk to the higher-ups about withdrawals and medical exemptions.

    I really hope you feel better soon, and regardless of what you end up deciding, I wish you luck. :)
  • JayD94JayD94 Registered User Posts: 5 New Member
    Thank you harvestmoon, I really appreciate it.

    I will talk to advisors, deans, campus counselors, parents and professors to see what can be done.

    Once again, thank you for your positive words. They truly help.
  • collegegurl95collegegurl95 Registered User Posts: 144 Junior Member
    I sort of went through the same situation. I feel so bad you must be incredibly stressed.One period a month sucks, but two is just awful :( ...I have been there as well.
    Ultimately, you must decide what is right for you. Don't worry about your parents. Your health and well being should come first. I was in my freshman year of college and I basically had an incredibly intense depressive episode. I came home and decided to work on myself and really consider what I needed and when I was ready I headed back to a different school. Not to say you should leave your school, but taking a medical leave could be beneficial to you. As the others have mentioned on campus counselors are a great source for information regarding medical leaves or other options that you might consider. Seeing as you can't concentrate on school for the time being taking a leave could be your best bet. One thing that really helped me when I left college was understanding that I am not a failure and no one thinks I am. I had the same uneasy feeling of letting my parents down and couldn't look them in the eye for a month when I came home. Finally, I came to the realization that not everyone's path is straight, and there will be some major bumps in the road but it is OK.

    I would continue seeing a therapist. Did you ever consider getting medications as well? I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, depression, and ADHD. I am taking meds for it and I feel like I am the person I was meant to be.

    I wish you the best of luck and I hope everything works out well for you :)
  • JayD94JayD94 Registered User Posts: 5 New Member
    Thank you CG95,

    I really appreciate it. It's great to hear from people who have been through a similar experience.
    And yeah, my counselor recently suggested getting a psychiatric evaluation to really figure out what's rumbling around in there.

    Thank you, and take care (:
This discussion has been closed.