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complete loner

negirl19negirl19 Registered User Posts: 18 New Member
Hey everyone,
Well I feel pathetic for having to post this but I started college this past fall as a freshman and I'm doing fine academically but am really struggling socially. I go to an SEC school and I'm from the north and haven't been able to find "my people" or really any acquaintances. It seems as if everyone here isn't looking to make new friends and that they all know each other from high school already. I'm part of one sports related club but it's mostly upperclassmen who aren't looking for any new friends and people don't show up consistently to the club meetings so I can't really bond with anyone. I know I should be joining other clubs but none of them appeal to me really. But I will be volunteering with a community service group starting next week or so...so I'll see how that goes. As I said my grades were fine first semester but only because I spend the majority of my day at the library studying. I'm an introvert so I don't mind alone time but having little human interaction is starting to get to me. I just feel as if I'll never make good friends here...I know it takes time to form friendships and I am slow to let people in but it seems as if no one is interested in being my friend. Please tell me I'm not the only one concerned with my social life?

Replies to: complete loner

  • ucanthrograducanthrograd Registered User Posts: 50 Junior Member
    Just studying won't work. Try talking more and be open and friendly - people will respond in kind.
  • Parnassus700Parnassus700 Registered User Posts: 22 New Member
    It is good that you posted this. Hang in there! College is a balancing act and almost everybody takes a bit of time to find a good balance between academic, social, physical and spiritual. That fact that you ask the question means you areself-aware and thus can address it and work toward that balance. Chances are that many of the people you saw being so social last Fall got a bad surprise with their grades, so believe me you are not alone in seeking to fine-tune your balance.

    The fact you are at an SEC school means you should have literally hundreds of opportunities available to you on campus, and additionally many more in the community around you where you can get involved and give back. You just need to think about things you are curious about and this is a great time in your life to try something new. When I look back at college I tried a bunch of new things that I never had in high school and which I found interesting. I worked on the campus radio station, wrote for the campus newspaper, got a job, joined the Big Brother program and mentored an 8 year old in town, did 2 amazing internships, did intramural sports. You are actually so lucky since you have so many opportunities. Since you are in a different region, make the most of that and embrace the ways the culture is not quite like the northeast

    My daughter had a similar experience to you as a freshman since she was an engineer and had to really really work hard to survive. She had some regrets about things she missed, but now as a sophomore she is finding that better balance, She is involved in some things she really loves and I can see her starting to blossom, The same will happen to you.

    A number of activities require certain minimum GPA levels so you have kept those doors open.

    Keep your grades up while checking out a few opportunities. There are always things you can sample until you find a couple activities you really like. They may be in campus or they may be in town, but once you find them you will feel a bit less "in your own head" and find happiness in focusing on making a difference in whatever you are doing. Acquaintances and friendships will naturally begin to flow from that; just be open to the opportunities that happen naturally. Like I mentioned above, getting a part-time job is a good place to start since you have co-workers and also get some pocket money. But volunteering for causes you like is also great, and you can acquire useable skills. People who consider themselves introverts also benefit when they help or serve others since they can focus on someone else.

    Congratulations on a good start to college. One thing you may not realize is that in the SEC spring will come a lot earlier than you are used to at home. You will be in shorts while your friends and family back home are still shivering. This alone will lift your spirits and let you get outdoors and get involved.

    Good luck in finding your optimal balance. Hang in there and good luck! Enjoy your early spring!!
  • NothingImportantNothingImportant Registered User Posts: 41 Junior Member
    Try meeting people for something like a hobby or something you are passionate about. For example, I met a lot of people that I became tight with through graffiti.
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