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Having Trouble Adjusting to College/Making friends? Top 10 things to do

2

Replies to: Having Trouble Adjusting to College/Making friends? Top 10 things to do

  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU 14378 replies103 threads Forum Champion
    I live in the USA.
    Intramural sports are not for jocks...they are like recreational sports...more for fun than for competition. Its not Varsity Sports...not club sports...just people from your dorm that want to get together.
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  • WrestlingislifeWrestlingislife 1 replies0 threads New Member
    I just wanted to ask I've been at college for 3 days and haven't made a single friend with is feels lonely since in high school I made friends were ever I when with out thinking about it my roomate has made firends but there partying every night and that doesn't appeal to me idk I feel like I'm doing something wrong or being too picky. is this feeling normal
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  • wizman631wizman631 221 replies11 threads Junior Member
    @bopper
    Where I go to school, you still have to be the sporty athletic type to play club or intramural sports without being considered a laughingstock. Also, the campus is almost as cliquey as high school. I also live in the USA and I've never heard of GroupMe. Facebook is still a thing in New England.
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  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU 14378 replies103 threads Forum Champion
    Also there is an App called "Sit with us"...see if others at your school use it to find others to sit with at lunch.
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  • wizman631wizman631 221 replies11 threads Junior Member
    On a side note, I got a GroupMe, although it was more of a means to communicate and come up with a date for meetings with my leadership team members.
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  • dyiu13dyiu13 2811 replies55 threads Senior Member
    edited September 2016
    You know, I would recommend intensive weekly psychotherapy with an ASD specialist to overcome the trauma you report from your past and your reported current mood disorder.

    Also, like I've recommend before, read a bunch of books about young adulthood and ASD. Please.

    Dive deep into your studies and develop relationships connected to history field. Econ, too. That includes professors, archivists, grad students, and fellow majors.

    If you could ask Counseling Services for help to find at least one person for meal companionship, you'd be so much happier, I think. It just takes one person. Maybe an RA also knows of another student feeling isolated.

    In the meantime, become an interesting and engaged person while you await a possible new friend. It might take another year.

    Start searching for a summer job or other opportunity now.

    Don't change majors, but do research careers and prepare.

    Take or leave any of this advice. I know you'll do what you want, and that's fine.
    edited September 2016
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  • wizman631wizman631 221 replies11 threads Junior Member
    How do I become an interesting person if there is nothing interesting about me?
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  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU 14378 replies103 threads Forum Champion
    What do you do in your spare time?
    What would you do if you could?

    You can join a service organization and will be able to work and meet others.
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  • universityjoeuniversityjoe 16 replies0 threads New Member
    Get off of Facebook and stop wallowing in the past. Make the best of your new experience. Enjoy real people and real experiences.
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  • wizman631wizman631 221 replies11 threads Junior Member
    @universityjoe
    I'm sorry but that doesn't really help me at all.
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  • wizman631wizman631 221 replies11 threads Junior Member
    And I haven't really had a best this year either.
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  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU 14378 replies103 threads Forum Champion
  • cathyjohnsoncathyjohnson 2 replies0 threads New Member
    @bopper Thank you for the tips that you gave, they are really motivating and of great help. :)
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  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU 14378 replies103 threads Forum Champion
    Bump as I see many people asking about making friends
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  • shebaseweedshebaseweed 29 replies3 threads Junior Member
    @wizman631
    What about chess club? Do you have any hobbies like that which would give you a chance to meet up with people that may share your interests? As far as the dorm, can you move to a more conservative one where you might find others that aren't as interested in partying? If you feel awkward eating alone, maybe go at off peak times for a bit till you find someone to sit with.
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  • wizman631wizman631 221 replies11 threads Junior Member
    @shebaseweed
    @bopper
    There is no chess club on my campus nor do I have any desire to play chess. Due to having no friends, I had to go random (albeit within my themed housing community) and I'm a junior sharing a suite with three sophomores. This is pretty much unheard of in my housing community and I'm probably going to be humiliated because of it.
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  • shebaseweedshebaseweed 29 replies3 threads Junior Member
    @wizman631
    I would try volunteering and/or working a part-time job that involves working with people your own age. It's a great way to meet people and you may find that people will make plans to do things within these groups, I've seen it with my own kids. They both worked part time at the same place, with a bunch of people their age. They've gone on weeklong trips, daytrips, outings, etc, as a group and also with individual friends they've met through their work group. They also do a lot of volunteer work - at the very least, it gets you out with other people and you may find it will lift your mood. Anything that gets you involved with others rather than isolating you will help, even if you have to force yourself at first.
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  • sta3535sta3535 203 replies111 threads Member
    My first year of college went well for me, socially. I honestly would've been more socially deprived at college if I wasn't a part of the marching band in high school, that was my saving grace. I met my first real group of friends during that time in high school. My grades could've been better, but a little more studying could've helped me in the long run, not forgetting to mention some of the mistakes that I made during my first year. I plan on doing better next year.

    When I first got there, everyone was meeting new people. I eventually found my group(s) and had lunch and dinner with them. I also went to parties with them. I somehow didn't stick to one group. Although, now that I think about it, I got off lucky that I was apart of some of these groups.

    Overall, it's a life changing experience if you live on campus.
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  • wizman631wizman631 221 replies11 threads Junior Member
    @bopper
    @shebaseweed

    "I would try volunteering and/or working a part-time job that involves working with people your own age. It's a great way to meet people and you may find that people will make plans to do things within these groups, I've seen it with my own kids. They both worked part time at the same place, with a bunch of people their age. They've gone on weeklong trips, daytrips, outings, etc, as a group and also with individual friends they've met through their work group. They also do a lot of volunteer work - at the very least, it gets you out with other people and you may find it will lift your mood. Anything that gets you involved with others rather than isolating you will help, even if you have to force yourself at first."

    Unfortunately, all of the on-campus job openings are filled so that one's out the window. And I've already done my fair share of community service and volunteer work and it hasn't helped me in the long-term whatsoever. Despite their reassurance from my suitemates whom I've already talked to, the fact that I'm a junior and they're all sophomores will put me on edge since I'm sure all they'll do is tolerate me since they all have their own friendship groups they probably don't want to open. I feel like the most practical solution is to give up finding friends and focus completely on academics, especially with my thesis proposal due October 20, or accept that I was born a friendless loser and that's what I'll always be.
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  • cookiesncream101cookiesncream101 5 replies1 threads New Member
    Oh goodie, these are good advice! I have a couple questions though.

    1. If I need help, what should I say or do when I ask a classmate for help?
    2. When it comes to being open and talking to other students on the campus, where should I go to schedule a little activity like that on my floor?

    I want to have fun in college, even if I am falling behind, I still want to smile, I want to have fun and open up. I want to be a new me!
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