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Having Trouble Adjusting to College/Making friends? Top 10 things to do


Replies to: Having Trouble Adjusting to College/Making friends? Top 10 things to do

  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU Posts: 13,685 Forum Champion
    @wizman631 Thanks for the feedback. Can you share what you tried specifically for these items? Did anything else work?
  • wizman631wizman631 Registered User Posts: 231 Junior Member

    1) I met someone during orientation. We talked and everything and despite seeming different, I could talk like I talk to no one else. We haven't seen each other since and we drifted off.

    2) I went to the Student Activities Fair in September and signed up for two or three clubs (I tried all three but ultimately kept one, if you don't count Honors Club which I was mandated to attend as a freshman in the Honors Program at my school). They didn't do much for me though (clubs in general have not).

    3) I was almost nothing alike to those on my floor. I was quiet, studious, socially awkward, and don't do drugs or drink while most of the others were loud, social butterflies, partiers, and drinkers.

    4) This happened once in a while but not very often since I was essentially an outcast. I often sat by myself at the dining hall because I had no one else to talk to and when I did sit with others, I usually felt out of place (or sat with someone who wasn't very talkative so I almost might as well have been alone).

    5) I'm going to skip this one because I can't come up with an appropriate response.

    6) I would be the laughingstock of the school if I seriously went out for athletics of any kind, or at the least be scarred from embarrassment.

    7) I actually exchanged two or three numbers this year and that ultimately did come in handy.

    8) I actually went to Individual Counseling Sessions at the center for Counseling and Psychological Services because by February I never felt more sad and miserable due to having an inescapably large workload and being a social outcast/loser. All of the sessions (ten of them) were in the spring. It didn't too much for me, though.

    9) I'm not into large social gatherings. When I do end up going, I suffer from social anxiety (due to having ASD) and it usually backfires since everyone seems perfectly content with their conversations as they are and I'm essentially left out in the cold.

    10) What the heck is GroupMe?
  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU Posts: 13,685 Forum Champion
    Groupme is a texting platform for groups. For example, my DD's dorm floor used it to communicate with people on their floor...My DD organized a movie night that way.

    7) What about intramural dorm teams?

    You may be an extreme case...are you being treated for social anxiety?
  • wizman631wizman631 Registered User Posts: 231 Junior Member
    edited August 2016

    I don't exactly have a healthy enough figure (at least in my eyes) and have low muscle-tone so that's why athletics isn't a very good idea for me. To sum up, I'm nowhere near athletic or cool enough to hang with the jocks. Also, most of the people who do sports in my college are basically on the opposite end of the social ladder. Yeah, it's basically an extension of high school.

    As far as social anxiety goes, it's a side effect of ASD and since I have to carry it with me my whole life, I don't know my social anxiety will ever go away. I do get prescriptions from the doctor to help cope better with it, though.

    PS, where are you from? That might explain why I've never heard of GroupMe.
  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU Posts: 13,685 Forum Champion
    I live in the USA.
    Intramural sports are not for jocks...they are like recreational sports...more for fun than for competition. Its not Varsity Sports...not club sports...just people from your dorm that want to get together.
  • WrestlingislifeWrestlingislife Registered User Posts: 1 New Member
    I just wanted to ask I've been at college for 3 days and haven't made a single friend with is feels lonely since in high school I made friends were ever I when with out thinking about it my roomate has made firends but there partying every night and that doesn't appeal to me idk I feel like I'm doing something wrong or being too picky. is this feeling normal
  • wizman631wizman631 Registered User Posts: 231 Junior Member
    Where I go to school, you still have to be the sporty athletic type to play club or intramural sports without being considered a laughingstock. Also, the campus is almost as cliquey as high school. I also live in the USA and I've never heard of GroupMe. Facebook is still a thing in New England.
  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU Posts: 13,685 Forum Champion
    Also there is an App called "Sit with us"...see if others at your school use it to find others to sit with at lunch.
  • wizman631wizman631 Registered User Posts: 231 Junior Member
    On a side note, I got a GroupMe, although it was more of a means to communicate and come up with a date for meetings with my leadership team members.
  • dyiu13dyiu13 Registered User Posts: 2,866 Senior Member
    edited September 2016
    You know, I would recommend intensive weekly psychotherapy with an ASD specialist to overcome the trauma you report from your past and your reported current mood disorder.

    Also, like I've recommend before, read a bunch of books about young adulthood and ASD. Please.

    Dive deep into your studies and develop relationships connected to history field. Econ, too. That includes professors, archivists, grad students, and fellow majors.

    If you could ask Counseling Services for help to find at least one person for meal companionship, you'd be so much happier, I think. It just takes one person. Maybe an RA also knows of another student feeling isolated.

    In the meantime, become an interesting and engaged person while you await a possible new friend. It might take another year.

    Start searching for a summer job or other opportunity now.

    Don't change majors, but do research careers and prepare.

    Take or leave any of this advice. I know you'll do what you want, and that's fine.
  • wizman631wizman631 Registered User Posts: 231 Junior Member
    How do I become an interesting person if there is nothing interesting about me?
  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU Posts: 13,685 Forum Champion
    What do you do in your spare time?
    What would you do if you could?

    You can join a service organization and will be able to work and meet others.
  • universityjoeuniversityjoe Registered User Posts: 16 New Member
    Get off of Facebook and stop wallowing in the past. Make the best of your new experience. Enjoy real people and real experiences.
  • wizman631wizman631 Registered User Posts: 231 Junior Member
    I'm sorry but that doesn't really help me at all.
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