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Having Trouble Adjusting to College/Making friends? Top 10 things to do

13

Replies to: Having Trouble Adjusting to College/Making friends? Top 10 things to do

  • wizman631wizman631 Registered User Posts: 231 Junior Member
    And I haven't really had a best this year either.
  • cathyjohnsoncathyjohnson Registered User Posts: 2 New Member
    @bopper Thank you for the tips that you gave, they are really motivating and of great help. :)
  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU Posts: 13,685 Forum Champion
    Bump as I see many people asking about making friends
  • shebaseweedshebaseweed Registered User Posts: 32 Junior Member
    @wizman631
    What about chess club? Do you have any hobbies like that which would give you a chance to meet up with people that may share your interests? As far as the dorm, can you move to a more conservative one where you might find others that aren't as interested in partying? If you feel awkward eating alone, maybe go at off peak times for a bit till you find someone to sit with.
  • wizman631wizman631 Registered User Posts: 231 Junior Member
    @shebaseweed
    @bopper
    There is no chess club on my campus nor do I have any desire to play chess. Due to having no friends, I had to go random (albeit within my themed housing community) and I'm a junior sharing a suite with three sophomores. This is pretty much unheard of in my housing community and I'm probably going to be humiliated because of it.
  • shebaseweedshebaseweed Registered User Posts: 32 Junior Member
    @wizman631
    I would try volunteering and/or working a part-time job that involves working with people your own age. It's a great way to meet people and you may find that people will make plans to do things within these groups, I've seen it with my own kids. They both worked part time at the same place, with a bunch of people their age. They've gone on weeklong trips, daytrips, outings, etc, as a group and also with individual friends they've met through their work group. They also do a lot of volunteer work - at the very least, it gets you out with other people and you may find it will lift your mood. Anything that gets you involved with others rather than isolating you will help, even if you have to force yourself at first.
  • sta3535sta3535 Registered User Posts: 286 Junior Member
    My first year of college went well for me, socially. I honestly would've been more socially deprived at college if I wasn't a part of the marching band in high school, that was my saving grace. I met my first real group of friends during that time in high school. My grades could've been better, but a little more studying could've helped me in the long run, not forgetting to mention some of the mistakes that I made during my first year. I plan on doing better next year.

    When I first got there, everyone was meeting new people. I eventually found my group(s) and had lunch and dinner with them. I also went to parties with them. I somehow didn't stick to one group. Although, now that I think about it, I got off lucky that I was apart of some of these groups.

    Overall, it's a life changing experience if you live on campus.
  • wizman631wizman631 Registered User Posts: 231 Junior Member
    @bopper
    @shebaseweed

    "I would try volunteering and/or working a part-time job that involves working with people your own age. It's a great way to meet people and you may find that people will make plans to do things within these groups, I've seen it with my own kids. They both worked part time at the same place, with a bunch of people their age. They've gone on weeklong trips, daytrips, outings, etc, as a group and also with individual friends they've met through their work group. They also do a lot of volunteer work - at the very least, it gets you out with other people and you may find it will lift your mood. Anything that gets you involved with others rather than isolating you will help, even if you have to force yourself at first."

    Unfortunately, all of the on-campus job openings are filled so that one's out the window. And I've already done my fair share of community service and volunteer work and it hasn't helped me in the long-term whatsoever. Despite their reassurance from my suitemates whom I've already talked to, the fact that I'm a junior and they're all sophomores will put me on edge since I'm sure all they'll do is tolerate me since they all have their own friendship groups they probably don't want to open. I feel like the most practical solution is to give up finding friends and focus completely on academics, especially with my thesis proposal due October 20, or accept that I was born a friendless loser and that's what I'll always be.
  • cookiesncream101cookiesncream101 Registered User Posts: 6 New Member
    Oh goodie, these are good advice! I have a couple questions though.

    1. If I need help, what should I say or do when I ask a classmate for help?
    2. When it comes to being open and talking to other students on the campus, where should I go to schedule a little activity like that on my floor?

    I want to have fun in college, even if I am falling behind, I still want to smile, I want to have fun and open up. I want to be a new me!
  • cookiesncream101cookiesncream101 Registered User Posts: 6 New Member
    Oh goodie, these are good advice! I have a couple questions though.

    1. If I need help, what should I say or do when I ask a classmate for help?
    2. When it comes to being open and talking to other students on the campus, where should I go to schedule a little activity like that on my floor?

    I want to have fun in college, even if I am falling behind, I still want to smile, I want to have fun and open up. I want to be a new me!
  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU Posts: 13,685 Forum Champion
    1. What kind of help do you mean? Homework? "Did you figure out #59A for Calculus? I got the rest but not that one.

    2. You could ask your RA...or if there is some kind of group chat app like Groupme you could get your floormates to use...or even old fashioned Sign near the elevator "Pizza and screening of "<Movie>" on Wednesday night at 8:00. Talk to a few people near you to see if you can get a few people to come.
  • SuperGeo5999SuperGeo5999 Registered User Posts: 688 Member
    Would church be a bad idea if I'm not religious?
  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU Posts: 13,685 Forum Champion
    edited November 2017
    Churches are open to people who are exploring that religion...If you are okay with listening to what goes on there and respectfully questioning...I see no problem. If you think religion is stupid, then no.
  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 9,080 Senior Member
    Many colleges have non-denominational churches. They tend to be very welcoming and host pelnty of events that aren't centered around services. I would look at your school's website and see what types of events they offer. @SuperGeo5999
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