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Having Trouble Adjusting to College/Making friends? Top 10 things to do

bopperbopper 14082 replies100 threadsForum Champion CWRU Forum Champion
This time of year we see many posts about how they are having a hard time adjusting because they don't have any friends. With all of these, obviously try to do them with your roommate as well. But if that is not working out, then...

1) During Orientation, go to as many activities as you can. Ask people in your hall way if they are going. Introduce yourself..they are looking for friends too. "Hey, I am Pat...what are you majoring in?"

2) Go to the Activities Fair and sign up for a bunch of clubs that are of interest. They may not all pan out, but don't eliminate anything yet. If you are into music/D&D/running/church/whatever, you can find other people who are interested too. Service clubs are great because you spend time working together.

3) Talk to the people on your floor....Get some cookies and offer them "Hey I have cookies, anyone want some?" and then strike up a conversation about where they are from, what they are majoring in, etc. People like to talk about themselves...let them. Don't make it too long...move on to others.

4) At dinner time, ask your roommate/people on your hall if they are going to dining hall. Go with them. See if people in your dorm generally sit in the same area.. Join them.

5) Go to any dorm activities your RA has set up. If you are still having issues, talk to your RA. See if they have ideas. If not suggest that they have one. Maybe a movie and pizza?

6) Join your dorm's intramural (or any intramural) team.

7) Talk to others in your classes...exchange numbers so that if either of you miss you can exchange notes... Ask what someone got on a homework question (that you did too)...once you get to know them, ask if they want to form a study group.

8) If this isn't working, go to the Counseling Center...they are ready to help freshman this time of year. Don't think you are a loser because you have to go...this is something you pay for! Get the benefit! You may need to learn some new social skills. They may also have group talks on Homesickness or fitting in.

9) Go to ongoing campus activities..concerts/movies/lectures/parties. Invite someone/group of people or just sign up and meet people for activities that might be off campus.

10) See if your dorm/floor has a GroupMe Group set up...otherwise suggest to someone who is extraverted that it might be a good idea. Then people can send a group text that they are showing a movie in the lounge or are baking cupcakes in the kitchen.

You may notice that all of these things take some action...they are not passive. You have to take initiative. But the risk is small...if someone says no, then just say "Maybe another time".
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Replies to: Having Trouble Adjusting to College/Making friends? Top 10 things to do

  • bopperbopper 14082 replies100 threadsForum Champion CWRU Forum Champion
    bump...
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  • stradmomstradmom 5032 replies50 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    For commuters: go to the commuter lounge and attend the commuter events. I guarantee the school holds them, I guarantee they will be awkward, but do it anyway. :)
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  • bopperbopper 14082 replies100 threadsForum Champion CWRU Forum Champion
    edited September 2015
    bump
    edited September 2015
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  • baktraxbaktrax 2561 replies2 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    10) Get an on campus job. This will give you something to do during the day in between classes so you are on campus more. It will also help you get engaged into the campus.

    Getting an on campus job is good advice for students who live on campus as well. I met some of my best and longest-lasting friends in college through work, and since students often keep the same schedule during the semester, it's a great way to be in contact with the same students regularly throughout the term. Jobs where you will work with other students regularly is the best for this--something like working in the library, in the dining hall, or in the student center may work well.
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  • bopperbopper 14082 replies100 threadsForum Champion CWRU Forum Champion
    Also if you belong to a religion, attending religious activities with others is also good.
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  • bopperbopper 14082 replies100 threadsForum Champion CWRU Forum Champion
    Bumping for next semester
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  • otoribashiotoribashi 431 replies74 threadsRegistered User Member
    anything for community college students? the commuter advice doesn't really apply to us..it seems more geared toward 4 year university commuters.... for example we dont have orientation events or commuter lounges or activities or stuff like that.
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  • bopperbopper 14082 replies100 threadsForum Champion CWRU Forum Champion
    For Community College:

    1) See if your CC has a "First Year Experience' or some kind of program to orient you to the CC.

    2) Look at your CC's "Student Life and Activities" or similar page... find out about campus activities.
    Attend live music, visiting writers, traveling exhibits or whatever interests you...maybe you will find people of a like mind.

    3) Your CC has clubs...sign up for a few....then see which ones you click with.

    4) Join the Student Life Board if you like influence activities on campus.

    5) Join Community Service Groups

    6) There may be lounges or game rooms on your campus...google it..if you keep going back you will start to recognize people.

    7) Make study groups with people in your class...or just exchange contact info with people so you can talk with each other about homework or share notes when someone misses class

    8) Ask someone in your class if they want to get lunch after

    9) Does your CC have intramural/club sports teams?

    10) Get an on campus job...you will meet people there.

    Really, get involved any way you can with life on campus that interests you...there will be other people with that same interest.
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  • bopperbopper 14082 replies100 threadsForum Champion CWRU Forum Champion
    bump
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  • ExwireExwire 106 replies17 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    This really should be stickied as this is relevant and extremely helpful info for everyone going into college! Much thanks and appreciation for this post!
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  • TomSrOfBostonTomSrOfBoston 14750 replies988 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    If you are a commuter student your parents hopefully will not expect you home for dinner each night at 6 PM. Many campus activities are in the evening.

    Someone posted last year that she had an issue with this and her family.
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  • wizman631wizman631 221 replies11 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    @bopper
    As someone who was a freshman last year, I'm willing to admit that most of this stuff really didn't work for me. Not even counseling. Sorry to say that, but it's how I felt during the year, especially in the spring semester.
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  • bopperbopper 14082 replies100 threadsForum Champion CWRU Forum Champion
    @wizman631 Thanks for the feedback. Can you share what you tried specifically for these items? Did anything else work?
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  • bopperbopper 14082 replies100 threadsForum Champion CWRU Forum Champion
    Groupme is a texting platform for groups. For example, my DD's dorm floor used it to communicate with people on their floor...My DD organized a movie night that way.

    7) What about intramural dorm teams?

    You may be an extreme case...are you being treated for social anxiety?
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  • wizman631wizman631 221 replies11 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    edited August 2016
    @bopper

    I don't exactly have a healthy enough figure (at least in my eyes) and have low muscle-tone so that's why athletics isn't a very good idea for me. To sum up, I'm nowhere near athletic or cool enough to hang with the jocks. Also, most of the people who do sports in my college are basically on the opposite end of the social ladder. Yeah, it's basically an extension of high school.

    As far as social anxiety goes, it's a side effect of ASD and since I have to carry it with me my whole life, I don't know my social anxiety will ever go away. I do get prescriptions from the doctor to help cope better with it, though.

    PS, where are you from? That might explain why I've never heard of GroupMe.
    edited August 2016
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