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I'm a senior in high school and I got accepted to my top school for next fall but my mom has cancer.

alygarveyalygarvey Registered User Posts: 7 New Member
I got accepted to UW-Madison for next fall and my whole family is excited for me. However, for the past 7 years my mom has had cancer and has been fighting it but it's stage four cancer and with chemo will make it only a few more years and without chemo (which is what my family is leaning towards) she probably will pass middle of next year. I want to be there for her to take care of her with my dad and my sister (who will be a senior in high school next year) but I'll be in Madison which is about 3 hours away from where I live. Are colleges generally allowing of students taking off a semester or two to care for family? And if they are, what if it's my first year? Obviously I want to be there for my mom but I don't want to end up like Ethan Frome and just stop trying to get an education. Any suggestions on something like this or thoughts on what Madison would do?

Replies to: I'm a senior in high school and I got accepted to my top school for next fall but my mom has cancer.

  • alygarveyalygarvey Registered User Posts: 7 New Member
    **sidenote: I wasn't sure which forum to put this in so this one seemed most appropriate -OP
  • NorthernMom61NorthernMom61 Registered User Posts: 3,831 Senior Member
    So sorry that your family is facing this challenge and all the anxiety that goes with facing the potential loss of your mother. You have several months before college starts so you have time to make decisions. Like @lostaccount stated, you can take a "gap" year to take care of your family if necessary. You will know more by summer what is going on for your mother. You will simply delay enrollment for a year and take care of your family responsibilities. Your school probably has a procedure for setting this up. You remain an admitted student and just start a year later. You can probably get in touch with your school and find out what the process is. If you enroll by May 1, but then decide to defer because your family situation changes, you will only likely lose your enrollment deposit.
  • HeyItsNickHeyItsNick Registered User Posts: 676 Member
    I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I truly hope for the best for your family

    UW Madison website has this page dedicated to Freshman Deferred Enrollment: https://www.admissions.wisc.edu/admitted/deferredenrollment/. Look it over but do note that there is a May 1st deadline to request deferred enrollment.
  • intparentintparent Registered User Posts: 35,281 Senior Member
    My mom just passed away, and I am glad I was able to spend a lot of time with her near the end (she was in hospice). Tell your mom (and other relatives) that Madison will still be there and allows a gap year, and that you want to be with her (if that is how you feel). I don't think you will be sorry in the long run if you do this.
  • NorthernMom61NorthernMom61 Registered User Posts: 3,831 Senior Member
    edited January 2016
    You already got accepted so the opportunity to go to school this fall or delay a year is up to you, and fortunately you don't have to decide today, there are several months before school starts. It is great, however, that you are being responsible and asking what your options are. Prayers to your family.
  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU Posts: 11,954 Forum Champion
    Talk to your family. It may be that your mother has been working with you to get you ready for college and would lik e nothing more for you to go to college. It may be that they have made the decision about chemo...if it is yes, then consider going to school. If it is no, then consider a deferral/gap year.
  • thingamajigthingamajig Registered User Posts: 315 Member
    no real advice, but best wishes to you. deferments and semester leaves happen often if you choose those. i believe they are both real possibilities depending on what your college says
  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU Posts: 11,954 Forum Champion
    Also contact the University and talk to them (Dean of Students) about options that they have.
    If you take a gap year, then you will enter with other freshman...i would suggest going through freshman orientation in the fall over trying to start in January.
  • menloparkmommenloparkmom Registered User Posts: 12,627 Senior Member
    may I strongly suggest that you defer your first year of college for a year? I'm sure UW Madison would understand adn approve that request. that way you can be with your family for another year.
  • momcincomomcinco Registered User Posts: 1,069 Senior Member
    OP, sending you many hugs and best wishes for your family. What a mature and caring young person you are! I am sure your parents are very proud.

    It is difficult to judge the situation but I think you have heard from many posters that clear, ongoing and honest communication with your parents is very important. It sounds like you will take a deferral or a break at some point, it's just a question of when.

    Discussing this with Madison is the other important piece. Getting clear info about when it is too late to withdraw / tuition refunds / etc as well as any other information will help you to be prepared.

    All the best to you. Please come back and keep us posted.
  • iDontGetBsiDontGetBs Registered User Posts: 4 New Member
    I wish your mom and yourself + family the best wishes OP. Whatever you decide to do, I am sure it was the best ! Don't regret anything!
This discussion has been closed.