I thought I might ask a source where quality answers are more likely to appear.
Last semester around late October/early November, I fell into a depressive bout and I'm not completely certain what might be causing it. I started just feeling extremely run down, no motivation to get anything done, and sleeping upwards of 10 to 16 hours per day, getting homework done in just the nick of time. It has progressed into this semester and unfortunately it's quite a bit more severe. Nothing seems fun anymore. I can't find reason to go on. I feel fine for short stints at a time during the day, but there's periods during the day and mostly at night that I just feel completely worthless--that there's no solution to improving my life at this point and maybe life would just be better without me. I binge eat and sleep excessive amounts still.
I don't want to feel that way, but sometimes it's just incredibly hard to move past it. I do see a psychiatrist, but she's not very "good" to say the least. She's provided by my university but when I tell her all this, she just tells me that I should take X pill and be in therapy, but the pill isn't that helpful and that I'd probably be better off with just therapy and exercise. I question why she even took the job as a psychiatrist if the only thing she says she "does" is prescribe but she downplays medication. I don't take the medication because I just don't feel convinced she cares about my well-being in that regard.
I've begun to work on the exercising portion by refusing the bus and instead walking to class every day. I wanted to schedule an appointment at my university's counseling center, but there's at least a 3-week backlog before I could be seen, and the psychology clinic won't even schedule me an appointment until I complete a phone interview 1 to 2 weeks from now. The counseling center only provides 6 free visits before you either have to pay or start therapy somewhere else. The psychology clinic is not free. I'm not sure if I can use insurance benefits for that, but my insurance copay is pretty high at $50 for a general visit.
I'm feeling a little "stuck" to say the least. How do I build a support network in my situation? What do I even do? My family isn't very helpful as they don't know how to handle mental health situations--they've never had to deal with it, so they're a little limited in what they can do to help. And most importantly, the reason I bring this here is that I just cannot bring myself to do anything school-related. Homework assignments are not being done, studying isn't taking place; this just isn't who I know myself to be. I don't want to have to drop out because I'm relatively close to being done (done with my major already, but graduating next spring).
I just wish life had a pause button so that I could take a step back for a while.