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Parents Moving To College With Me. Help!


Replies to: Parents Moving To College With Me. Help!

  • nvb123nvb123 Registered User Posts: 153 Junior Member
    I don't think it's really staying very close to them if I'm 2-4 hours away (that's actually quite far, think about it!). I understood that they mainly want to be able to not miss more major things in life just because of travel difficulties (flight costs especially). I guess that makes sense. In addition, they *know* I definitely want to go the coast (especially east coast) for college so they don't want me to limit myself to the Midwest because of them. Personally, I think this is an ideal I would want to have if I really did want to mainly go to schools in the Midwest too (2-4 hours away). It's kind of striking a nice balance I think, and given the option I would choose what they are considering right now over anything else probably. At least I know for sure that I won't be unexpectedly encountering my parents in Philly if they're staying in some nice place down in DC. Plus, it gives them a better life too honestly than what they were talking about before!

    Personally, I don't really wanna push it further than 4 hours ideally, since that's probably not something I'd really like because of unnecessary distance that probably doesn't heighten my experience in any way (2-4 hours is barely different from 5/6, and more than that just creates homesickness and requires a lot of flying probably). Plus, my parents told me that if there really is something uncomfortable going on in college because of this, we can probably work it out and find a better solution (them moving further away). However, I doubt a 2-4 hour distance will give them an opportunity to have any unwanted physical influence on my college life.

    Regarding applying to colleges in the Midwest, I'm applying to a couple like UChicago and WashU, but I honestly don't rate these as high as east coast schools in my list because I just love the really nice vibe I get being on the coast. Still an option tho.
  • aquaptaquapt Registered User Posts: 1,948 Senior Member
    I think whether it's *weird* depends entirely on the people and the situation.

    If a set of parents moved to someplace two hours away from their son's college, out of respect for his need for space, but then sat there forlornly waiting for him to call, text, and visit, or texted repeatedly themselves ("Son? It's been eight days since we did your laundry - aren't you out of socks?), then it would be weird in spite of the enforced distance.

    But on the other hand, if they chose a community carefully and then proceeded to build a real life for themselves there - not a life that revolves around their college-aged child - then it could be healthy for everybody. Who knows, maybe they aren't that crazy about where they live, and have only stayed there to give their child stability and continuity; and now that he's done with school they're champing at the bit to make a move. As long as they're going to establish their own lives (and not pull up stakes again when their son spends a semester abroad or goes to grad school), I don't think there's any need to put negative judgments on it. I can certainly relate to the "why am I even still living here?" feeling after launching the last kid at college. (Although if I'd followed her she would have run away screaming, lol.)

    I think OP has done a great job of navigating this and coming to what will hopefully be a positive resolution for all concerned.
  • KnowsstuffKnowsstuff Registered User Posts: 2,950 Senior Member
    edited July 2018
    Seems like a nice solution if you are happy with it. My daughter was 2 hours away and it was great going up to see plays etc and not having to drive all day. My son is 4.5 hours away and still we are able to go up to see him, football games etc.

    But the excuse flights /fare are expensive. Sorry.. To many flight deals and them "moving" and getting a new place would costs thousands at least. You would be saving them money by flying and them not moving.. Lol...

    Come to University of Michigan... Great school and they won't have to move...
  • gallentjillgallentjill Registered User Posts: 2,469 Senior Member
    I think the 2-4 hour distance makes perfect sense. I know many, many families who set a distance radius for their kids for many reasons. For those kids the radius limited the schools they could apply to because the parents couldn't move. You have an ideal situation where you can chose your school and still satisfy your parent's wishes. Well done!
  • nvb123nvb123 Registered User Posts: 153 Junior Member
    @gallentjill Thank you! This is definitely a win-win situation. I'm very happy!
  • KnowsstuffKnowsstuff Registered User Posts: 2,950 Senior Member
    @nvb123 congratulations. If you are very happy then that is what counts. Your parents see you as the adult that you are and are respecting your wishes. Nicely played ;)
  • coolguy40coolguy40 Registered User Posts: 1,932 Senior Member
    If they have lucrative jobs, I'm thinking that they have to find work in a city. Go to school in a small college town. If they do move, the nearest city will be a couple hours away. (Mic Drop)!
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