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Another lonely college student

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Replies to: Another lonely college student

  • sewejeffreysewejeffrey 11 replies9 threads Junior Member
    1-Get your emotions in order. Before you can start getting rid of your loneliness, you need to determine what it is exactly that is making you feel lonely. Do you miss a certain person, or a particular place? Do you generally just feel like you don’t have many friends, or that the friends you do have aren’t close to you? Determining why you’re lonely may give you a solution for your problem right away - not everyone can tell where their feelings of loneliness originate. If you’re missing a particular person or place that you can’t visit, much of your problem-solving will need to be introspective. If you are desirous of more friends or feel isolated, than your solution will more likely be to get out and meet new people.
    -Try journaling if you’re not sure why you feel lonely. Be as specific as possible.
    -Don’t be embarrassed at the cause(s) of your loneliness. It is a perfectly normal feeling that everyone struggles with at one time or another.

    2-Focus on your health. Before you make any other changes, you should look to your own health for indicators of causes for loneliness. Oftentimes lack of sleep, exercise, and healthy foods can leave you feeling lethargic and depressed, leading to loneliness over time. Spend a week making positive changes to your health; aim to get eight hours of sleep every night, try to fit in at least 30 minutes of physical activity, and cut out junk food/incorporate more fruits and vegetables into your diet. If nothing else, doing these things will give you more energy and reduce stress, which overall impact your positive outlook and feelings of happiness.
    -Studies have shown that poor sleep and lack of physical activity are correlated to feelings of loneliness.
    -Certain foods - particularly fruits and vegetables - contain hormones that increase happiness.
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  • EngineersCareersEngineersCareers 2 replies0 threads New Member
    Also the same i have no one interested to reply me as if i am going to make efforts to talk to someone. So i decide to pull back from them and decided if they want to talk if they wish to, and there is more motivated speech with help me to survive.
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  • HankCTHankCT 220 replies10 threads Junior Member
    edited February 2019
    Oh yeah, and consider transferring to somewhere warm and sunny. Why we all punish ourselves with bitter cold, grey skies and short days, is beyond me. I went up to New Hampshire (further north) to go to college. I should have gone to Arizona, or South Carolina or San Diego, or something like that.

    Also, in terms of clubs, maybe finding some where you can help others. Community service, charity, mentoring. Sometimes helping others can be very fulfilling, and you may even find it easier to make friends among others who share that activity.
    edited February 2019
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  • pittsburghscribepittsburghscribe 447 replies14 threads Member
    Just throwing this out there, but could you add theater as a double major or minor so that you could join the productions?
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  • HankCTHankCT 220 replies10 threads Junior Member
    @leafconeybearismart Great news, and glad to hear about all of that. When I was your age, I also didn't mind the cold one bit. In fact, i went further north for better skiing (from CT to New Hampshire). Now that I am older, all I can do is drool when I think of warmer climates. The cold goes right through you when you are older, and you realize life is short, why spend half of it freezing and with a sun that sets are 4:30 PM?

    Really glad to hear about the changes, the new job, thanks for updating.
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  • LenoirLenoir 63 replies5 threads Junior Member
    Yeah ! Glad it is going so much better . Sounds like your freshman year will be a success and just think you have more years to learn and explore and make friends. I really think it can be tough cause so many are tied to their phones and kids have always been in cliques which is tough . Very happy for you.
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  • techbraintechbrain 26 replies0 threads Junior Member
    Good to hear!!
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  • SantezSantez 1 replies0 threads New Member
    do you understand well your personality? it could well be playing that role in your social life. However i do not see any need for any worry. we all cannot behave in the same kind of manner. maybe being the loner is the best person one can ever be. perhaps it is the wisest decision we can ever make.
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  • REJINA03REJINA03 1 replies0 threads New Member
    edited April 2019
    thank you
    edited April 2019
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  • AggieMomAgainAggieMomAgain 319 replies3 threads Member
    @leafconeybearismart :smile:

    I was just wandering around on CC and your thread caught my eye. I hope that things work out for you, your last post sounds more positive, except one thing really jumped out at me, you wrote:

    "I was always forcing myself to be friends with people in my major (education) as I don't really like children and that's kind of all they liked to talk about. They're all very nice, but definitely more acquaintances than friends."

    So why are you an Education Major if you don't like kids? Does your school have counseling for major selection or careers? Please check out an alternative path that uses your skills and interests. That might also improve your outlook on life.

    A good teacher can impact a child's life in so many ways, an unhappy teacher can also impact a child's life. If you aren't happy around children, will you be a positive influence?
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  • leafconeybearismartleafconeybearismart 102 replies30 threads Junior Member
    @AggieMomAgain Totally fair question! I'm majoring in secondary education so I can interact more with the material I love and have intellectual conversations about it without having to talk down to children. Most education majors here are elementary ones who always talk about how much they love kids and can't wait to have some of their own or love playing with them and while I definitely don't relate to that, I certainly don't dislike children.
    That said, I'm also an education major simply because I love English and history and I'm going to try to find a job in those, and if I can't education is a backup.
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  • MoonKnightMoonKnight 377 replies9 threads Member
    @leafconeybearismart Congratulations on making new friends! I struggled with finding friends in college too. I still am struggling to be honest.
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  • jym626jym626 56970 replies2989 threads Senior Member
    edited June 2019
    Yes, @MoonKnight, it appears to many posters here that you are struggling to be honest.....
    edited June 2019
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  • Rchunt55Rchunt55 17 replies4 threads Junior Member
    I was in a similar situation... My college experience wasn't what I expected socially but because it lacked some social balance but I was INVESTED in my academics and instead of drinking buddies, I met colleagues and other people with the same educational interests as me. It was beneficial.

    You can always join clubs. Assuming you're a freshman, I think freshmen put a lot of pressure on themselves to make friends that they don't realize there's different kinds of friendships. You can have drinking buddies. You can have study group friends. You can have book club friends. Friends from certain classes. All of it. Not all friendships are created equal in college.
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  • Rchunt55Rchunt55 17 replies4 threads Junior Member
    Basically what I'm saying is, I wouldn't discredit "small friendships" if you meet someone in class and you guys always hang around each other, maybe invite that person to lunch. Maybe start a study group with that person. Etc.

    Once you start counting all the small friendships as real friendships, you'll feel less alone imo. That's just how adult friendships work. It's complicated. In the adult world, you can make a friend at work, talk to that person all day long about anything and everything but never hang out with them outside of work.

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