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Unhappy as a Freshman

blessinghblessingh 12 replies8 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I'm currently a freshman attending UCR as a psych major.
I'm very unhappy here. I feel like I don't fit in, my roommate is mean to me, I don't have a lot of friends, I don't party/rave much, and the psych program here isn't what I want.
I wanna do premed and according to my advisor, it's rare to go from social science to premed and it may take me 5 years instead of 4. I'm not interested in doing that, and was hoping that there would be a larger overlap between the psych requirements and the premed req's (chem, bio, physics, o-chem, etc.) but there are not much similarities.
I didn't do well last quarter so my GPA is pretty low. My mental health isn't the best and it's been affecting my grades, relationships, and my personality overall. I don't want to take a quarter/year off, because that would push me back even more.
I'm just lost and I don't know what to do. I'm really unhappy and this is not what I imagined college would be.
I want to transfer to somewhere where I think the psych program would be better and where I would actually fit in with other students.
I just don't know if transferring is the right option. I don't even know where I would transfer to. I want something "higher ranked" but I don't even know if that's right for me, given the fact that I'm struggling here (and I doubt rank is the root of the issue). I don't know what to do, and I just need some advice.
Thank you!
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Replies to: Unhappy as a Freshman

  • bjkmombjkmom 7941 replies158 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    OK, first of all: deep breaths. You're OK and you'll be OK. OK?

    Next-- the first thing that jumped out at me was the mention of your mental health. As a mom and a teacher, that mention always jumps out at me. If you said you had a lump, you would address it. If you said your heart was constantly racing, you would address it. Well, your mental health is no different. It needs to be addressed when you know something isn't right. Why not stop by the mental health office on campus? I don't know whether yours is open on weekends, but check. If not, they're sure to be open Monday. Get there as early as you can, so you can tackle this. I know it's hard opening up to strangers but it will be well worth it. Worst case scenario, print your post and bring it with you.

    Now let's talk about 5 years vs. 4. Once you get out of high school, you realize that the old timelines have disappeared. It really doesn't matter whether you finish in 4 years or 4.5 or 5 or 6. You're on your own journey, and it doesn't have to match anyone else's. No one notices whether the 84rd kid in the line at graduation is 21 or 26 years old. It simply doesn't matter. So if you need a semester off to get your mental health together, take it. I think you'll find it's well worth it in terms of how you feel and your general level of productivity at school. Or you could even do a semester at a local CC, eating mom's home cooking and getting your mental health in order while taking some of the Gen Ed courses you know you'll need anywhere.

    As to the lack of friends-- I think you'll find that there are lots and lots of kids at any school who don't party or rave. Is there some sort of volunteer thing going on this weekend? Check the calendar and go, attend, help out. I think you'll find other like minded kids, making a difference in the world instead of getting drunk each weekend. They're out there-- every campus in the country has them. But they're not going to knock on your door-- you need to seek them out.

    The roommate? Would it help to have a mediation session with the RA? Can you put up with it for 6 more weeks? Is there an empty room in the dorm you can move to? Or someone else looking for a roommate you can move in with? Ask your RA.

    Pre-med or not. Hmm, I have no idea. But there are bound to be other medical majors out there-- from becoming a PA to nursing to I don't know what else. Consider exploring them. Do you need a Pre-med major to get into medical school? I have no idea, but it's a question you might consider asking.

    This paragraph: "
    I'm just lost and I don't know what to do. I'm really unhappy and this is not what I imagined college would be.
    I want to transfer to somewhere where I think the psych program would be better and where I would actually fit in with other students."-- OK-- it sounds as though you know exactly what you want. That's what you should do.

    Start with the schools you were accepted to last year. Why did you choose to apply to them? Do they seem to have what you now want? Can you picture yourself at any of those campuses?

    Now broaden your search. Go online and do a few college match quizzes, knowing what you now know about your preferences. See what comes up and what it would take to transfer. You could do that today-- it might be good for your mental health to look forward to better days instead of thinking about how miserable you are now.

    Hang in there. There are thousands of kids like you out there-- kids who simply chose the wrong school or the wrong major. You're not locked in.
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  • LindagafLindagaf 9234 replies495 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Why do you want to transfer to somewhere higher ranked? Is that going to make you happier?

    First, be an adult and talk to your roommate. If you can’t do that, talk to the RA who’s supposed to help mediate these issues. If your roommate is treating you poorly, make it clear that it’s not acceptable. You live there too, so don’t be a doormat.

    You don’t like where you are, so yes, consider a transfer. The problem will be that your grades are not good. Any transfer at this point will be a sideways move. The grass will not necessarily be greener at another school. You have to think about your real reasons for transferring.

    I suggest you go to the academic advising center on campus and have a frank conversation about what you need to do to get to a better university. Your first goal should be to raise your GPA. Go to professor office hours and the tutoring center. Yes, you might have to spend longer getting your degree. You are young so you have time. You should also go to the campus counseling center ASAP and book an appointment. Go to the career center and ask about what careers might be good for you. They probably have assessment tools that will help you discover what might be a good fit. Look at all the various internship and job shadowing possibilities on offer. Apply to them.

    In short, be proactive. Stop fretting and worrying, and instead take steps to make changes.
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  • bopperbopper 14080 replies100 threadsForum Champion CWRU Forum Champion
    1) I agree, your school issues may be due to mental health issues. Consider getting screened for depression. Go to your college's Counseling Center and talk to them. Or maybe see a Psychiatrist or Psychologist. I would actually encourage you to go to the Counseling Center today. If you have been diagnosed with a mental illness, see a psychiatrist about a possible medication adjustment.

    2) Psych and premed-...Tons of students do this. My daughter just finished this. She had planned to take a gap year after graduating (in 4 years) before she applied to med school.

    3) Friends: Do you not have friends because of the people at your college? Because you may have depression? because you are not putting yourself out there? Here are thoughts on making friends: https://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1808143-having-trouble-adjusting-to-college-making-friends-top-10-things-to-do.html

    4) Whatever you do, think about the future. Don't just quit. If you can, finish out the semester. Use these ideas on doing well. https://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1920853-college-is-a-step-up-from-hs-16-tips-on-doing-well-in-college.html
    Options can be: Finish out the semester. Talk to your adviser about withdrawing from like 1 class so you can concentrate on the others. Do a medical withdrawal if you are diagnosed with depression.

    5) Roommate: Is the roommate mean? or not being the friend you want? Talk to your RA about what is happening to see if they can help out.
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  • intparentintparent 36291 replies644 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Premed isn’t usually a major, but it does mean that you might have little time for electives outside the premed requirements.
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  • PublisherPublisher 8000 replies82 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    With poor grades at UCR, transferring to a higher ranked university may not be a realistic option at this time.

    Consider taking a year or two off from school to work. This may help to recharge your batteries while also giving you a more defined long term plan.
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