Welcome to College Confidential!

The leading college-bound community on the web

Sign Up For Free

Join for FREE, and start talking with other members, weighing in on community discussions, and more.

Also, by registering and logging in you'll see fewer ads and pesky welcome messages (like this one!)

As a CC member, you can:

  • Reply to threads, and start your own.
  • Post reviews of your campus visits.
  • Find hundreds of pages of informative articles.
  • Search from over 3 million scholarships.

Trouble Adjusting to College

CollegeGal98765CollegeGal98765 Registered User Posts: 4 New Member
Hi there,

I am a freshman at an out of state college about 500 miles away from home right now. In choosing this college, I never felt truly excited about my decision. From the day I committed, to the day I moved in, to right now, mid-April of my freshman year.

Every time I return to school, I feel more and more like I do not belong here, and want to transfer home. Many adult figures in my life are saying that they also hated their freshman college experience, though. I am conflicted as to whether I should just stick it out for my sophomore year as well (even though I hate being here and am having trouble making true connections) or transfer home and figure out my situation at a community college there, and transfer to an in-state school that would make me happier.

So the bullet points of this situation are:
-Never has been excited/proud of the school
-Having trouble making friends despite trying to put myself out there
-Out of state school (so paying out of state tuiton, just to be miserable?)
P.S. I'm getting a bio/envi sci degree, and my school is not particularly known for these
.... More, that's all I can think of for now

Any thoughts on this situation? Advice on how to get through the rest of this quarter??? :)

Replies to: Trouble Adjusting to College

  • TS0104TS0104 Registered User Posts: 744 Member
    Sorry you are having trouble. There are many threads on the forum with suggestions to reach out socially, hopefully you can find them. I'm thinking of some general relationship advice such as remember why you chose the college in the first place? It kind of sounds like there is nothing you like about it...is this true? Why did you go there? Surely there was a reason.

    Whether to try another year depends a lot on how this year has gone, and finances as well. You've given it a good amount of time...what would change next year? It doesn't sound like time is solving the problem.

    As for this year, it seems as if there is only about a month left which is pretty short! It's too late to join any clubs, but is there time to go to any clubs or activities that you hopefully checked out earlier in the year? Any connections with people in your class (studying for finals together can be a way to connect, or year end projects). Is there a counselor at your school or an adviser that you could share these thoughts with?

    I don't know that "freshman year was miserable" should be thought of as normal or as to be expected. Yes, there is an adjustment period at first that doesn't last the whole first semester, let alone the whole year. Are you able to talk to your parents about it? Do you have financial options to try to transfer (sounds like in state would be cheaper anyway)?


  • LynnskiLynnski Registered User Posts: 72 Junior Member
    I'm really sorry it's been so hard! One thing I wonder is whether you've spend time away from home before. Have you gone away to camp or any other activities that had you spending more than a week or two in a new environment? If this is your first time away from home, it might be really hard to pile that transition on top of all the other adjustments to college life. But if you've been happy away from home in other places, then maybe it's just not a good fit.

    Do you recall why you first choose this school? Were you excited *before* the day you committed? Did your reasons turn out not to be so important to you after all, or have you found that your school doesn't offer what you hoped it would?

    There are lots of people here who can help you think through your decision if you want to continue the conversation. Best wishes!
  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU Posts: 13,261 Forum Champion
    1) Perhaps you should be evaluated for depression. GO to the counseling center at your college and talk to them.
    2) What DO you want in a college? Why are you not happy about this one? Why would it be easier to make friends elsewhere?
    3)Going to a cheaper instate school may cost less...but if you have any merit scholarships you will lose them.

    My advice:

    Finish this semester strong. Focus on your classes so you have the best opportunity to transfer/ do something different/return.

    Tips for making friends in college
    http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1808143-having-trouble-adjusting-to-college-making-friends-top-10-things-to-do.html

    Doing well
    http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1920853-college-is-a-step-up-from-hs-16-tips-on-doing-well-in-college.html

  • CollegeGal98765CollegeGal98765 Registered User Posts: 4 New Member
    Thank you all for your quick replies! I chose this school because it was the most similar to my "dream school" in terms of location, but I was unable to attend my dream school due to cost issues.
    I am most certainly considering transferring to a community college for one year, and then to an in-state school, and was just wondering if there were any outside thoughts on this move.
    Thank you for the supportive tactics to make my end of year better, as well.
    Best regards :-)
  • 3js3ks3js3ks Registered User Posts: 303 Member
    Are you going home where you have friends to hang out with or just going home to be home? I think if you have a problem making friends, at this point I wouldn't be paying top dollar to be away if you are unhappy. Can you transfer to an instate college or is your only option community college near your home? Your mental health and happiness are important. What do your parents think?
  • CollegeGal98765CollegeGal98765 Registered User Posts: 4 New Member
    Going to be home where friends are occasionally, I do have a few other friends who have transferred back to community college. I also feel that I fit the "vibe" of my home better than that of my college town. I have missed the deadline for applying to the colleges that I intend to end up at, so I will apply this fall and hopefully end up there in fall 2020.
    I have one parent who is completely on board with me coming home, and one who thinks that me moving around from my current university to a community college and back to a university will look bad on my applications/records. They are still on board for the most part though.
  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU Posts: 13,261 Forum Champion
    Don't worry about it looking bad. Getting bad grades looks bad. Withdrawing from lots of classes looks bad.
    Transferring doesn't look bad. Finish this semester strong!
Sign In or Register to comment.