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Giving college a 2nd try at age 28

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Replies to: Giving college a 2nd try at age 28

  • RoaringMiceRoaringMice Registered User Posts: 662 Member
    It's not unusual for older people to return for degrees in the arts, especially in second degree programs. In fact, this is done so often, by people who 1) already have a degree in another field and 2) have been working for a while, that many schools have post-baccalaureate programs in art and film. You'd spend 1-2 years full time in such a program, getting the credentials you need to move into the industry. Highly focused programs. Might be worth looking into.

    Even if you enter a uni as a full second degree student, your gen ed type classes will normally be waived, since you already have a bachelors, and you'll only need to take the classes required to complete your major. In a BFA arts program, this could shorten your time to degree to about three years, which can help, financially. It probably won't shorten the time by more than that, though, due to the sheer number of classes required by most BFA programs, and you also have to leave time for internships and etc. in film if you want to be employable.

    Little if any non-loan financial aid is available for second degree students, so cost may need to be factor in your choice of schools.

    Your experience as an older student won't be what it might have been if you were 18 and entering college, and to be honest, I'd suggest that it shouldn't be. I feel it's important that you're okay with that. For example, wanting to "party", as I might phrase it, with 20 year olds is not at all a good idea. Living in the dorms, for older students, can be uncomfortable. All that said, many unis (and film/art schools) have good number of older students on campus, and even housing especially for older students. This might be a way for you to have that full college experience, without the worst stuff about it.

    I'm not sure that wanting to join a frat is a very good idea for an older student, but I don't know any older students who have done so, so others can perhaps comment on that.
  • TQfromtheUTQfromtheU Registered User Posts: 1,491 Senior Member
    Counseling and a masters or focused film classes. My friend took photography courses and developed a second career. You can't go back in time but you can change directions where you are. If you are mostly want to go back to the past you didn't have, talk it out with a counselor and save the time and money. BTW - My husband's fraternity has grad chapters for grown men. You don't hang or pledge with the kids and you get the benefit of the brotherhood that you are seeking. Better parties, no foolishness, great career connections.
  • cptofthehousecptofthehouse Registered User Posts: 27,430 Senior Member
    The OP wants to return to college for the socialization. It’s actually like wanting to join a Gymboree class as the participant , not a parent. There’s a point in time, one has to leave the sandbox or kiddie pool
  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU Posts: 13,685 Forum Champion
    edited April 30
    Can you get a Master's degree? Can you get involved in greek life if you are a graduate student?

    is there a way to get the experience of fraternity life in some other way? Are there other social groups that would feel similar?
  • damon30damon30 Registered User Posts: 981 Member
    When he said he was 30, I asked to see his driver's license.

    @MaineLonghorn The difference being that your future husband wasn't pretending to be something he wasn't. The OP, presumably, would be misrepresenting himself in order to rush a fraternity. I think this is the part that's creeping people out a little.
  • SeekingHopeSeekingHope Registered User Posts: 19 Junior Member
    edited April 30
    >To me, this is both sad and borderline creepy.

    I mean having wasted the opportunities that most of the world never gets is sad, which is why I'm trying to repair it.

    Also, the term "creepy" has a connotation for not respecting someone's boundaries. How you got that out of my post is beyond me.

    >No. That is a myth, and you are too old to be believing everything you read on TFM, or the heavily staged pictures you see on Instagram.

    This seems to imply that people recruit others for fake photographs, which I doubt happens with any frequency. Not to mention that I saw all the people having an amazing time around me, especially since I lived by the pool. Just about every person I have talked to absolutely loved college except me. It seems impossible that society all decided to make this up.

    >But it's like the current raisin commercial that asks "remember childhood?" to a background of beautiful sunny days and soft focus happy families: no bullies, no bad teachers, no divorcing parents, no promises that get broken- none of the darker side of childhood. The troubles of the past almost always seem easier than our current troubles.

    Looking back at my childhood I remember a great time and having dreams for the future. Looking back at my 20s (and even saying that phrase hurts) I see an empty, wasted life. All I did was trudge through to get a degree in something I have no passion for, just to say I have one, hoping things would improve. The years went by and they didn't.

    >You would be writing the checks to pay for the adventure, it would be stuff that you paid for that gets wrecked at the frat party, you will remember just how obnoxious drunken 21 year olds can be (and how much energy they have), the sting of rejection by someone you fancy will be just as real.

    Isn't the ridiculousness of that all part of the experience? Plus that last part has nothing at all to do with age.

    >which imo is really unlikely, you would still be nearly 30, with all the experience that you have accumulated. You can't 'unknow' what you have learned in the last decade- it has been part of shaping you into who you are now.

    That's the main problem and a huge part of why I'm considering this, I haven't really accumulated any experience or learned much of anything outside of school. I really haven't done anything meaningful on a personal level in 8 years. It's all a big empty hole full of wasted opportunity. I don't feel like much of a different person than I was when I was 20, just a listless zombie.

    >And- not irrelevantly- colleges still expect you do to homework-and exams still suck. Big time.

    Well yeah, but this time I'm going to major in something I'm passionate about. Everything isn't going to be all fun all the time, to expect otherwise would be ridiculous. Anything worth having takes effort.

    >Know that college is not, for most people, what you imagine it was. Know that there are amazing parts of life still to come.

    I want to believe this is true. Beyond all comprehension I do. But why do most people seem to disagree?

    >- My husband's fraternity has grad chapters for grown men. You don't hang or pledge with the kids and you get the benefit of the brotherhood that you are seeking. Better parties, no foolishness, great career connections.

    I've never heard of this, interesting. But jumping straight into a graduate film degree when I majored in Business seems unlikely.

    >@MaineLonghorn The difference being that your future husband wasn't pretending to be something he wasn't. The OP, presumably, would be misrepresenting himself in order to rush a fraternity. I think this is the part that's creeping people out a little.

    Nowhere did I indicate that I would do that. If they asked my age I would tell the truth.
  • damon30damon30 Registered User Posts: 981 Member
    Nowhere did I indicate that I would do that. If they asked my age I would tell the truth.

    You are not volunteering your age. This is different from the @MaineLonghorn example. From your OP:
    But of course, my age is the one thing that makes this reboot a bit difficult. The advantage is that I'm constantly told that I look to be about 19-23. Plus how often do you actually ask someone's age in college? It's kind of just assumed that everyone is around the same age.
  • momofsenior1momofsenior1 Registered User Posts: 5,424 Senior Member
    I have to say that I don't think the OP's age is a problem. My lab partner my sophomore year of college was 29. He was in the military first.

    That said, OP, I would explore grad school. I don't see any reason why you couldn't study film after majoring in business.

    It's hard to have a total re-set and I have a feeling that your undergraduate experience probably won't be what you are dreaming of.

  • intparentintparent Registered User Posts: 36,711 Senior Member
    I think it is the sssumption that you can just jump into the social and frat scene when you will be 10 years older than most of the students that comes across as a little creepy. Or that you’d even want to.
  • aunt beaaunt bea Registered User Posts: 9,757 Senior Member
    It's all a big empty hole full of wasted opportunity. I don't feel like much of a different person than I was when I was 20, just a listless zombie.
    What makes you think anything will change?
    Going to a college again to try to recoup that "amazing time of your life", may not give you what you are expecting this time around..
    When my daughters and sons are with their college buddies, they speak another language and could fill each other's sentences. My good friends-for-life were made when I was between 18-20 with other 18 -20 year olds. We lived, ate, dated, interviewed, laundry-duty'ed, applied to grad school together,-turned 21 together. We suffered though a number of relationships together. It really was an AGE thing. There are things that you learn at 18, that you can't go back to relearn because you've already done it by the time you are 28.

    So you are expecting a bunch of 18-20 year olds to entertain you and become your friends for life?

    What makes you think it will be very different this time around?
  • oldmom4896oldmom4896 Registered User Posts: 4,024 Senior Member
    There are no time machines. You can't go back to being 18-19-20-21. And I agree that not volunteering that you are 28 when you are indeed 28 is deception. And creepy!
  • SeekingHopeSeekingHope Registered User Posts: 19 Junior Member


    >What makes you think anything will change?
    Going to a college again to try to recoup that "amazing time of your life", may not give you what you are expecting this time around..

    Nothing's for certain. But I can either resign myself to having squandered my shot at life and just keep rotting away, or man up and do what I can make things right. It's a cliche, I know, but "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take". I know exactly why and how I threw it away the first time and what pitfalls to avoid. I'm full of flaws, but being a quitter is not one of them.

    Plus if it doesn't work out at least I'd still learn more about my craft than I ever could on my own and get some connections into the film world. I don't know if I'll ever be a filmmaker either, but there's only one way to find out.


    >I think it is the sssumption that you can just jump into the social and frat scene when you will be 10 years older than most of the students that comes across as a little creepy. Or that you’d even want to.

    That's what perplexes me. When I think of someone who's "creepy", I think of a guy who (for example) preys on drunk and/or underage women or touches them without consent. Equating a person like that with me, who merely wants to make a worthwhile life for myself, just seems bizarre.


    >When my daughters and sons are with their college buddies, they speak another language and could fill each other's sentences. My good friends-for-life were made when I was between 18-20 with other 18 -20 year olds. We lived, ate, dated, interviewed, laundry-duty'ed, applied to grad school together,-turned 21 together. We suffered though a number of relationships together. It really was an AGE thing. There are things that you learn at 18, that you can't go back to relearn because you've already done it by the time you are 28.

    It's good that you and your children lived your lives to the fullest, but since I can't go back in time and warn myself to do that it seems like the right thing to do to at least make an effort to fix my life. I owe it to my younger self, my current self and my parents. Imagining my younger self, or my parents back in 1992 with all the hopes and ambitions in the world for my future being able to see how badly I tanked it all just makes it seem wrong to throw in the towel now.

    As I mentioned, since I didn't have an actual young adult experience I can't really ascertain what I'm supposed to know now that I didn't then.


    >So you are expecting a bunch of 18-20 year olds to entertain you and become your friends for life?

    My friends at work range from 21 to 38. We have no problem going to the bar or baseball games together. But having friends for life is better than not having them.


    >There are no time machines. You can't go back to being 18-19-20-21. And I agree that not volunteering that you are 28 when you are indeed 28 is deception. And creepy!

    >You are not volunteering your age. This is different from the @MaineLonghorn example. From your OP:

    What I meant to imply (perhaps not clearly enough) is that I won't stick out like a sore thumb. I don't think random people are necessarily entitled to know every detail about me, but nevertheless I'll honestly answer simple ones such as this when prompted. Going around blurting out my age just seems awkward. None of my coworkers knew my age until they asked me -- not because I was hiding it or anything, just because it didn't come up.
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