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isn't the main idea of depression feeling depressed *for no legitimate reason
permanently ruin my life
my one and only chance
I'll never make up for what I lost
The people who did pretty much all agree that this is the creme de la creme of life.
I'm not really seeing how you ruined your life.
You sound pretty unhappy in general, not just about your college experience, so I think it would help to speak to a counselor.
You can still switch careers. Many people do.
Take classes at a cc or go to grad school. But speak with someone to help you sort out your goals. You don't have to be so unhappy.
I'll never get to experience young adulthood, college and fraternity life.
Actually, no. Depression (thanks to the NIMH here): "causes severe symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or working." "It isn't the same as depression caused by a loss, such as the death of a loved one, or a medical condition, such as a thyroid disorder (thanks to Mayo Clinic there). It is real, it is legitimate, and fwiw the characteristics can include:
I have no idea if you are depressed or not (a counselor would)
all because you didn't have an "amazing" fraternity experience. Seriously? You have convinced yourself that an Animal House experience is *essential* to having meaningful life. In real life, only a tiny fraction of the human population ever has that experience- and I assure you that life has meaning and joy for the rest of us.
No, they don't "all" agree. Anecdotal, but I know rather a lot of people who tell the same story. My brother had a happy frat experience. One of his best friends to this day is a former frat brother- ONE! Except for reunions he doesn't seem much of his former frat friends. But he would strongly disagree that his frat days- happy as they were - were the "creme de la creme". He would put his wife and children well above frat days. Starting his own business also. etc.
But: we have all been saying the same thing over and over, so I think it's time to bow out. Talk to a counselor and get some advice there.
You're placing way too much value on a college experience that you've created in your own mind. Where did you get the idea that everyone who was in a frat agrees that it's the "creme Dell creme of life"?
It doesn't sound like you missed college life. It sounds like you attended a residential college and got a degree.
Missing that part of the college experience causes a "gaping hole in your heart"? A lot of people work their way through college and have no time for a social life at all. I think it would help to see a counselor to understand why you place such enormous value on the college experience. You need perspective.
also hung out most of the week with a chapter for a few months, until being denied a bid by one vote. This was probably the main turning point in my life going down the drain, come to think of it.
Taking a message of "it's over, you're screwed" to heart isn't as easy as you made it sound.
Might be worth a shot, but do you think they'd say anything different than what I was told here?
There's a reason that college being the best time of your life is considered common knowledge.
I didn't get to do the college experience that is practically worshipped in our culture.
I'm sorry, but what? If being denied a bid by a fraternity was the turning point of your "life going down the drain", I strongly suggest you do some volunteer work and speak to people your age who have been through life-threatening illnesses, have been homeless, disabled, or whose parents died before they could even see them graduate high school.
I don't know the ins and outs of your personal life or what you've been through, but if the worst thing you've ever experienced is being denied a fraternity bid, your life is not down the drain.
Most likely not. Because it's not about what you want to hear, it's about what you need to hear.
Just because you say it doesn't mean it's true. People also say their wedding day is the happiest day of their life. People who believe either statement are setting unrealistic expectations and are bound to be disappointed
It's not worshipped by our culture. It's worshipped by you, but whatever's going on in your life wasn't caused by not being in a frat and it won't be fixed by spending thousands and thousands of dollars for the opportunity to join one.