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Not going to A&M was the biggest mistake of my life

TrueDanielTrueDaniel 3 replies1 threads New Member
I say this because I’m 25 y/o and graduated from University of Houston as a transfer student 2 years ago and can’t find a job as a math major. I also never had a girlfriend since the dating scene at UH is so horrible. People at Texas A&M get married at graduation all the time because it’s a more conservative institution and Christian dating especially is more modest and not demanding of “game” and social proof compared to a big, liberal city. So I dread the fact that I didn’t consider the former.

Btw, I didn’t pursue relationship all the time. Half of my time at college I couldn’t care less, but the other half I started to spring into worry about being inexperienced. Either way I didn’t have any luck at the college I went to.

I know this is a rant, but I’m one of the very few 25 year olds with no dating experience and it’s gotten to me so bad that I stopped thinking about joining the Navy through OCS because I knew that 6 years of contractual Hell with no dating prospects would make my problems worse.

Anyone in a similar boat?
24 replies
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Replies to: Not going to A&M was the biggest mistake of my life

  • damon30damon30 1147 replies5 threads Senior Member
    Go to A&M for grad school.
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  • TrueDanielTrueDaniel 3 replies1 threads New Member
    I wish, but my graduating GPA was 2.8.
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  • coco55coco55 76 replies4 threads Junior Member
    Dating isn't the most important thing in the world. You have a lot more to accomplish than finding a girlfriend. If you're feeling lonely try checking out classes, groups, or activities in the area that you're interested in.

    Not everyone gets exactly what they want out of college, but at least you have a degree! Start thinking outside of the box and figuring out what kinds of jobs you may want to aim for, and what's going to help you get there.
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  • TrueDanielTrueDaniel 3 replies1 threads New Member
    @damon30 Well the language I took in high school was ASL so I don’t think I have luck through that route. I never say nerdy things to girls, I approach them like normal and try to get to know them, but I was very overweight during most of college and should’ve taken that seriously since I usually couldn’t get past the 2-minute first impression when talking with a new person. Don’t ask me about confidence when I had the stones to talk to people I never knew.

    Like I said, Christian dating is easier because people get married earlier despite less advanced social skills (many are homeschooled). And I do go to church. I just didn’t meet enough of them at UH. So the only real option at this point is to try and get a job in the conservative Dallas suburbs (Collin/Denton) so I can meet someone like minded.

    Pretty much everyone who is not conservative will rule out dating a 25 year old virgin. I watched Becca and Colton on the Bachellorette and it’s sickening.
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  • suzy100suzy100 5695 replies58 threads Senior Member
    Isn’t there a Christian dating app?
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  • damon30damon30 1147 replies5 threads Senior Member
    Pretty much everyone who is not conservative will rule out dating a 25 year old virgin.

    Absolutely not true. No one knows whether you are a virgin or not. Anyway, since you are Christian, you can always do the missionary thing. Think Jeb Bush. Everything else I said above would still apply.
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  • MYOS1634MYOS1634 43109 replies470 threads Senior Member
    Learn a foreign language then and go on a mission if you can't study abroad.
    Losing weight is *very* difficult so you might want to join a cooking club so that you learn about cool stuff to cook (as a compounding problem is the ready access to fast food. A homemade hamburger is nothing like a fast food hamburger not just one taste but in terms of calories!)
    Take more math/statistics classes. Start with biostatistics 101 if need be. List them on your resume under "Relevant coursework" (statistics is always relevant).
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  • Momof3BMomof3B 370 replies6 threads Member
    @TrueDaniel Collin & Denton counties aren’t as “conservative” as you think.

    You’ve gotten lots of good advice here about getting involved in Church singles groups and how to better your career prospects as well.

    Most importantly though..learn to love yourself first and foremost! Don’t look at being a 25 year old virgin as a detriment or handicap. Be proud of who you are and the choices you’ve made in life..there are PLENTY of women out there for you who will respect and be attracted to you as you are.
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  • International DadInternational Dad 343 replies10 threads Member
    edited May 2019
    Dating is not a problem, but you need to have a work before think in marriage.
    edited May 2019
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  • coco55coco55 76 replies4 threads Junior Member
    Why are you so worried about being a virgin if you're looking for someone who is Christian/conservative anyway? It sounds like you're struggling with self-confidence more than anything. If you want to date, join a dating site or app and give it a try. If you want to lose weight, exercise and pay attention to what goes into your body. But do those things ONLY because you want to do them, not because you think that will help you get a girlfriend. Plenty of people get married and have children later in life nowadays, it's no big deal. You don't want to look back on your 20's and regret spending all this time feeling sorry for yourself.
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  • TQfromtheUTQfromtheU 1540 replies17 threads Senior Member
    edited May 2019
    UH and Houston are fine and there are plenty of young single women interested in being asked out by an employed young man interest in marriage. A church singles' group is ideal. Pick a large church near you, go and do the activities. Just meet people and have fun while you build your career and see who in the group clicks with you as relationship you might want to pursue. Go to young UH alumni events too so that you have a good chance of meeting a fellow Coog you can tailgate with. Show up and be friendly. Positivity is a magnet.

    BTW - I know and work with Aggies who did not get married right out of college, married later, are not married yet, or are now divorced for what every reason. A&M doesn't have lock on marriage opportunities.

    Edit - regarding the need for a job. Contact the UH Career Center for guidance and help. Have you considered teaching or jobs in the energy industry?
    edited May 2019
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  • tpike12tpike12 502 replies9 threads Member
    Improve yourself first.

    1) Lift weights - buy some good clothes, present the most attractive you
    2) Get a job and learn new skills
    3) Take up or expand on some interesting hobbies

    Then meet girls.
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  • woodlandsmomwoodlandsmom 409 replies10 threads Member
    edited May 2019
    @tpike12 exactly. Since I am the mom of 3 guys...I can say that they have never got how important khaki shorts and a button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up are compared to a ratty pair of slicky underarmor shorts. I think lifting weights makes guys feel more self-confident. (I am not a guy but they all feel that way) When my middle son was little he said he hope to meet a girl one day that had a pony tail and liked math. :) As an aside, I know a lot of neat Christian girls who are never asked out on a date. The problem right now is that we have a "hook-up" generation. Force yourself to ask a girl for a cup of coffee or to go to a baseball game. Ask her if she would like to spend the day at the beach or the lake. Take it casually so you get to see if a person is a good fit. I would also state that large Christian churches usually have a lot of singles groups that do neat service or mission work. (like Second Baptist in Houston with Star of Hope mission) If you like "you" then you will seem more confident and attractive.
    edited May 2019
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  • murray93murray93 243 replies24 threads Junior Member
    Join a Crossfit box. Then you can get fit and meet women. I live in a tiny town and even here, that seems to be where the young people like to meet each other!
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