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Found difficult to make friends

Lincon1Lincon1 0 replies1 threads New Member
Hello everyone,,
I'm currently enrolled in second semester CUNY Brooklyn college but I live in deeep Queens. Via subway, 2.5-3 hours. I, however, take the LIRR which is a new set of problems cause constant delays and hour train gaps.

I'm really outgoing and it's super easy for me to make acquaintances but it was always hard to make good friends. I can't even get on regular texting basis with a lot of people. Now with such a large distance, it's increasingly hard and I never get invited to places cause not only am I not good enough friends but it's just impractical with the distance and my studying. I'm extroverted so not having a lot of friends suddenly has made me really sad and I can't get work done. I just feel so alone the second I leave campus.
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Replies to: Found difficult to make friends

  • AndorvwAndorvw 367 replies9 threads Member
    Isn't CUNY Brooklyn college a commuter school (ie, students not hang around after classes)? Why not Queens college?
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  • LindagafLindagaf 10508 replies577 threads Super Moderator
    This post sounds extremely similar to a nearly identical post a few months ago. There was good advice on that post, so, if this is the same user with a different name, please refer to the other post.

    If not, you need to get involved with something closer to home. Get a part time job at a place where other young people work. Volunteer in your neighborhood. Transfer to a college closer to your home. Good luck.
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  • OttermaOtterma 1505 replies30 threads Senior Member
    Is there a way for you to connect with other CUNY Brooklyn students who live in Queens? People you could hang out with at night and maybe even sit with on your commutes. Ideally you could find people taking the same classes as you so you could start to put together study groups.

    As an extrovert you have a head-start over many other students who are struggling with college social life. You can be the organizer bringing together others in the same boat (or train).
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  • happy1happy1 23831 replies2384 threads Super Moderator
    It is understandable that you would have difficulty making friends on campus with such a long commute.
    --Is there time for you to get involved in clubs/activities on campus?
    --Is there a reason you chose CUNY Brooklyn over CUNY Queens?
    --Do you have friends closer to home you can spend free time with?
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  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU 14473 replies104 threads Forum Champion

    For Commuters: .

    1) During Orientation, go to as many activities as you can. Talk to people and for those you like, ask them what activities they are going to tomorrow/or are they going to the ABC activity.

    2) Go to the Activities/CLub Fair and sign up for a bunch of clubs that are of interest. They may not all pan out, but don't eliminate anything yet. If you are into music/D&D/running/church/whatever, you can find other people who are interested too. Service clubs are great because you spend time working together.

    3) Join the Commuters Club. Go to the Commuter Lounge and talk to people.

    4) At lunch time, ask people in your next to lunch time class if they are grabbing some lunch.

    5) Adopt a dorm. Maybe some of your friends live in a particular dorm. Hang out with them some nights.

    6) Join an intramural team. Sometimes you can just sign up as a single.

    7) Talk to others in your classes...exchange numbers so that if either of you miss you can exchange notes... Ask what someone got on a homework question (that you did too)...once you get to know them, ask if they want to form a study group.

    8) If this isn't working, go to the Counseling Center...they are ready to help freshman this time of year. Don't think you are a loser because you have to go...this is something you pay for! Get the benefit! You may need to learn some new social skills. They may also have group talks on Homesickness or fitting in.

    9) Go to ongoing campus activities..concerts/movies/lectures/sporting events/parties. Invite someone/group of people or just sign up and meet people for activities that might be off campus.

    10) Get an on campus job. This will give you something to do during the day in between classes so you are on campus more. It will also help you get engaged into the campus.

    You may notice that all of these things take some action...they are not passive. You have to take initiative. But the risk is small...if someone says no, then just say "Maybe another time".
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  • skieuropeskieurope 40797 replies7569 threads Super Moderator
    Closing thread, as the OP has been banned. But good info here for others in the situation.
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