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I'm extremely afraid to leave for college

courtney3567courtney3567 3 replies3 threads New Member
Okay, so I just got back from freshman orientation last night (University at Buffalo) and it's about 7 hours away from where I live. I never visited the school before I committed but I heard that it was a great campus from friends. I went to orientation with my best friend (we're rooming together) and while I expected to feel excited and eager to go, I found myself growing very anxious instead. I thought that I was ready to leave home but I'm not even sure anymore. I know that if I make the last minute decision to go to a community college I'll wind up being bored. Living on campus sounds fun but I'm also really dreading the change. To be honest I've been crying about this since I got back last night and I have no idea what to do.
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Replies to: I'm extremely afraid to leave for college

  • dcolosidcolosi 535 replies23 threads Member
    I had several friends from HS who attended Buffalo and loved it. Have you ever been away from home before? Summer camps, etc. where you've been on your own to a degree? I went to school 10 hours and several states away from my hometown and didn't know a single person. The first semester was the hardest but driven more by the fact I didn't know anyone so I didn't have anyone to really talk to at first. That took about a week before I found a few other guy's to hang out with and then really changed once I rushed a fraternity. From there is was pretty smooth sailing.

    Of my core group of HS friends I was the only one who went away to school and the rest started at the local community college, after a year they all transferred to bigger schools with several going to Buffalo. Part of what you may be feeling is more the fear of the unknown. Change is hard but if you at least give it that first semester before deciding you may find that its just the nerves of going away. At least you have a friend with you so you won't be all alone.
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  • Houston1021Houston1021 Forum Champion Rice 1291 replies29 threads Forum Champion
    edited July 2019
    As the previous poster said, change is hard. It is natural to feel anxious about leaving home for the first time and attending a campus far away. You have the benefit of rooming with a good friend, so that should help with the transition. Stick with your plans and go to the university you chose. If after a semester you hate it and can't bear being away from home you can always transfer back to community college. I bet after the first few days you will be enrolled in interesting classes, meeting new people etc. and be glad you embraced the change. Try to join a few campus clubs or organizations that interest you. Although some students put up a tough exterior, most are feeling a bit anxious too.
    edited July 2019
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  • RiversiderRiversider 934 replies111 threads Senior Member
    You should be more afraid of staying at home, attending CC and not growing/evolving at the speed you can in a new environment. However, if you have mental health issues then better to work on those first. As another poster mentioned, try for a semester and if you aren’t comfortable, come back but don’t let minor anxiety cripple you. Having your best friend with you should be helpful.
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  • rickle1rickle1 2597 replies21 threads Senior Member
    S had the same experience (minus the joining a frat) as @dcolosi. About a 11 hour car ride, a few states away. Only kid in his HS group to go away (everyone else is either at local state U or CC). Knew nobody. Only took a day or two to make friends and never looked back. He has grown so much personally in the past two years. Very comfortable with who he is.

    Change is always challenging. I use that word on purpose . Challenging yourself is great and promotes tremendous growth. That said, be who you want to be, not what others want for you.
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  • KnowsstuffKnowsstuff 7302 replies34 threads Senior Member
    First off, have you had these feeling before in a different situation? If so, how did you overcome it
    Talk with your parents first. They know you best
    If possible, visit again. Go for a weekend and just walk around the campus, go to lunch, sit under a tree and chill. Go to a local play or something. Some people become anxious on the first exposure but that quickly dissapates on the second and third time there.
    I would also go on you tube etc and look at the college tours for your school. Usually students make these also. This will make you more familiar with the campus /activities. We are usually more anxious from the unknown.
    Also puruse the campus website. Look up clubs and activities and see which ones your going to join or check out.
    Now, do visualization. Close your eyes, relax, maintain a constant slow breath, and see yourself in campus doing one of those actives or just walking around. Do this daily, it helps.
    Lastly, if it's something your not used to talk to your parents to go talk with a professional. Sometimes it's just 1-2 visits to clear the air.
    Your gonna be fine.
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  • smakl70smakl70 280 replies2 threads Junior Member
    Most schools have a Welcome Week or similar. Check out the activities and start making plans on what you want to attend. Focus on the positive parts when you can and remind yourself that everyone is in the same situation. It's scary but after a week or 2 most adjust, meet some people and are very happy.
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  • astute12astute12 675 replies9 threads Member
    Completely normal feelings! College is a big change. My advice is to talk about your feelings to someone you trust. Write up a list of all your fears -- I will miss my bed, I won't make friends, classes will be hard, etc -- and then for each fear write up an action plan. When I get homesick I will facetime my parents, or go for a walk with my roommate. College is a big adjustment, but give it a go and make sure to set up a support system for yourself! Let us know how it goes.
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  • NorthernMom61NorthernMom61 4179 replies30 threads Senior Member
    Normal feelings. Accept them as normal and you will probably feel more relieved and you may swing back to excited. This is a big transition and feelings will come and go and probably keep swinging back and forth. Push through. You will have a sense of accomplishment when you move on. Expect feelings to swing after you start too. Welcome to the beginning of adult life.
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