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How do I introduce my college dropout boyfriend to my parents?

doritonachodoritonacho 1 replies1 threadsRegistered User New Member
My parents are very conservative and believe that a 'degree' is the ultimate form of proof you're competent. I've occasionally brought up the topic of college dropouts and what they think, but I've never asked how they feel about that college dropout being my boyfriend. They say some people make it w/o a degree, but most likely they won't. *also both my parents have doctorates, hence the bias*

I attend a top university with only one more semester to graduate. My boyfriend dropped his first semester after inability to pay (no support from parents) and lack of interest. My boyfriend is driven and wishes obtain his real estate license. He's always reading and educating himself, but he is just not interested in school. However, even though he has the drive, he's so young he barely started and works as a waiter to raise some money. As of today, he struggles financially and I know it will be the first thing my parents will note.
I just don't know where to start since they always make a big deal out of everything. I already know what their concerns will be, and believe me, I have them in mind to; but doesn't he deserve support as well? (I love him and I absolutely see a future with him, we actually technically LIVE TOGETHER, and have been dating for the past 6 months-- yes that's how scared I am that he has been 'hidden' for that long, but he's growing tired of my parents not knowing and it's about time they find out)
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Replies to: How do I introduce my college dropout boyfriend to my parents?

  • lookingforwardlookingforward 34123 replies377 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    How long since he dropped out? When will he get this RE license? Is he showing the drives, actually being productive?
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  • doritonachodoritonacho 1 replies1 threadsRegistered User New Member
    He dropped 2 years ago and has no interest on going back to fulfill a 4yr education. As of his RE, he's planning on obtaining it BY January. When I met him he has jobless, living with his parents, and over $5k in debt. Since, he has moved out (we pay rent together but it's still about $800 each), found a job that pays the bills, and his debts are nowhere close to that^ sum.
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  • sushirittosushiritto 4001 replies12 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    I don’t usually respond to these types of threads, but this one caught my eye.

    I don’t know what to tell you other than just dig deep and introduce him to your parents. You’ll probably have to suffer the “slings and arrows,” but it is what it is. Tell them “love is blind.”

    Do you want your parents to support your boyfriend? If so, as a parent myself, I’d say to you and your boyfriend, “you made your bed, now lie in it.” Assuming your boyfriend is young and healthy, he should work and work hard. There are jobs galore on sites like Indeed, even for those without degrees.

    FYI, to get established and financially viable in the RE business can take years. And that’s if you’re motivated and a self-starter.

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  • cptofthehousecptofthehouse 29422 replies58 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    I had one of those college drop out boys. His girlfriends all tended to have advanced degrees, especially as he got older. I never got a whiff of any parents giving trouble about his lack of a degree. I probably gave him the most grief about that, or so he says, anyways.

    I would say proceed slowly in introducing him to your parents. Not make it a big deal “he’s the ONE” type of thing. My kids have a number of friends and it often took a while for me to figure ot a SO in the mix.

    Good luck.
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  • NorthernMom61NorthernMom61 4179 replies30 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited September 15
    You just do it and accept that they might not support the relationship. You may not be able to get their support but you’ll be able to be honest that you are in a relationship and living together.

    You might want to change your calling him your “college dropout” boyfriend, and just your boyfriend.
    edited September 15
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  • EmpireappleEmpireapple 1719 replies26 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    You have been dating for six months and already live together? That was fast. I'm not sure you really know him but here you are asking your questions(s).

    Well, you can introduce him using his name and later answer your parent's questions politely. I think they would be very hurt to find out you've been living with him and they don't know. I also think they would be concerned that you've move in together so quickly. Maybe even more upset about that than the lack of advance degree.

    As far as them accepting him, they may surprise you and be ok with it as they get to know him or it may take time. I had a sister who married someone none of us were thrilled with. However, my parents were always very polite and kind to him. That's just good manners. Your parents may be the same. It took years of him proving himself and them proving their relationship before he was truly accepted. He ended up going to college after they were married for a few years and obtained an Engineering degree. That helped a lot. After a few years of marriage my sister told him he had to get his degree. It was just too hard financially without him being able to earn more money (he didn't have a trade either).
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  • MassmommMassmomm 3924 replies81 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    I'd tell them sooner rather than later. You don't want them finding out some other way. That will give them reason to believe you're ashamed of your BF. And you don't need to mention that he's a college dropout until it comes up in conversation. In fact, leave the word "dropout" out of it. If they ask where he went to college, you can truthfully tell them he took classes as XYZ University and then decided to pursue a real estate license.
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  • jenericjeneric 227 replies0 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    I would tell them now. If the subject of school comes up, share that he had no financial support- there isn't a parent currently paying for college that doesn't get that it is pretty impossible to go to school without help from your parents. As a parent of daughters I can tell you that I doubt I will love everything about a boy that my girls bring home (their dad will instantly hate him), but if I found out they were hiding a relationship from me, it would send up red flags. You are almost out of school, who you date is your choice.
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