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Almost a month at college and I don’t have friends

rm12Crrm12Cr 0 replies1 threadsRegistered User New Member
edited September 20 in College Life
So I go to a school with about 3000 students and I’ve been here for about a month and don’t have many friends. I am Introverted but once I get comfortable with someone I am talkative. Me and my roommate get along and are close, we get all our meals together and hang out. But other than him I haven’t found any other good friends. There seem to be a lot of fake people here, I have hung out with people and then they will not say hi to me when I see them again. Our orientation was a couple days long and I met lots of people but no one I really clicked with. My orientation group and hall mates are mostly athletes who already have there group of friends or people I have never seen because they don’t leave there rooms. I hoped to make friends joining a club sports team but there were a lot of people trying out for limited spots and I didn’t make the team. I have not made very many friends in classes either just people I say hello to and nothing more. At this point I am just looking for advice from people who went through similar situations or anyone with advice. I am also wondering if I should think about transferring because everyone has always said college if supposed to be the best years of your life and I am not happy here.
edited September 20
3 replies
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Replies to: Almost a month at college and I don’t have friends

  • gardenstategalgardenstategal 5724 replies10 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Hang in there! You are doing a lot right.

    First, it sounds like you have a friend in your roommate, and that is very lucky. Continue to keep up that friendship.

    You plan to play a club sport was a good one. Switch gears and join an Intramural team. Go to the gym. But follow that interest.

    Don't write people off as fake. Odds are that they are also struggling and putting on their best face.

    If there is an activity where you can see the same people all the time -- volunteer group, on campus job, a publication, think about that. Sometimes it's just easier to get to know people if you are around them with a common purpose.

    You could also see if your counseling center has groups for new students. You are not alone as much as it may feel that way.

    And that "best years of your life" thing? Not necessarily so. It can be, but don't feel like you are failing if you aren't happy every moment. But it's not portrayed accurately. It's hard to make new friends. Give it time.
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  • EmpireappleEmpireapple 1720 replies26 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    I think things are going better than you realize. First you and your roommate get along ok and eat together. That is a good thing! You are doing everything right. It just takes time. Don't think about transferring. Think about putting your best foot forward one day at a time where you are. I predict things will be better by Thanksgiving and even better at semester's end. These are all normal feelings for a freshman. It's a big change and a lot to navigate. You're doing well. Relax.
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  • PublisherPublisher 8000 replies82 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Agree that you are fortunate to have a great relationship with your roommate.

    Learn to focus on the positive, not on negatives. Your positive is a "known" = great relationship with roommate; your negatives are based on speculation. Things worth having--especially friendships--often take time to develop.
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