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Roomate issues

cantsleep26cantsleep26 0 replies1 threads New Member
edited October 2 in College Life
I’m a freshman guy who went random Roomate and My roomate decided to not room with his best friend, and went random and got with me. The thing is they are together 24/7 and it’s frustrating and I don’t understand why he didn’t room with him. He sleeps there 2-3 days a week, and gets back to the dorm at least at 2am every night while being gone LITERALLY all day, it’s been a month and we’ve had probably less than 5 actual conversations. I understand on weekends I don’t really care when he returns but.... Weekdays it’s constantly 2-3am and sleeping until 11am as well. I stay up until at least 1am most days if not midnight at the earliest. I’m thinking of requesting a roomate change but that’s not even until the end of the semester in 2.5 months. I’m lost right now on what to do. It’s nice having the dorm to myself a lot but it’s frustrating that he DIDNT go random and gets home at 2:30-3am every night. I’m about done tonight since he got home at 4:18am and I have an exam tomorrow....
edited October 2
6 replies
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Replies to: Roomate issues

  • gardenstategalgardenstategal 5880 replies10 threads Senior Member
    He doesn't sound so much like a bad roommate as a disappointment as a friend. I think you need to think through what you expected from him and whether that was reasonable. .

    Many people would be delighted to have the room to themselves so much. If there are problems with what happens when you are in the room together, you will need to figure out how to address those. (I.e., he needs to come in quietly at night, you need to dress and depart quietly in the morning).
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  • EmpireappleEmpireapple 1809 replies27 threads Senior Member
    Is it that he is waking you up when he returns to the room? If that is the case then speak to him about it and ask him to return earlier or stay out later.

    Weigh your pros and cons of seeking a new roommate and make your decision from there.
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  • GoatGirl19GoatGirl19 327 replies5 threads Member
    Agreeing with the above comments that this sounds like more of a disappointment about friendship than an actual bad roommate. I had one roommate freshman year that would come back to our room at 2 AM and another who slept until 2 PM so I understand the frustration of feeling like you can never make sound in your own room.
    As for why this roommate didn’t room with his friend, I wonder if “best friend” is code for significant other and one of their parents didn’t approve of them living together. Just a thought.
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  • MaineLonghornMaineLonghorn 38820 replies2131 threads Super Moderator
    My freshman roommate was like that - she had a serious boyfriend and didn't come home often. It WAS disappointing. I hadn't expected gaining a best friend, but I didn't want a single, either.

    I would just hang in there and make the best of it, and find someone else to room with next year. In my case, I met a girl the first day I moved into my dorm and hit it off with her. We lived together the next three years and still stay in touch.
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  • LindagafLindagaf 9389 replies502 threads Senior Member
    I am inclined to think that your roommate is possibly having a relationship with his “best friend.” If the roommate is waking you up constantly very early in the morning, it’s is time for you to speak up. Simply say “please try to be quieter when you come in. It’s not fair that I’m being woken up at 4 am when I have an exam in the morning.” If it continues, you get the RA involved.

    Your roommate has made it clear that he isn’t interested in friendship so frankly, you need to look out for your sanity and make life comfortable for,yourself. It is NOT reasonable to come in at 4 am when people have classes the next day. And yes, either move or get a new roommate. I’d probably just be honest and say “I don’t think we’re going to work as roommates. Let’s make other arrangements for next semester.” Sure it’s awkward, but I can’t imagine it’s worse than saying nothing.
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  • patattypatatty 145 replies1 threads Junior Member
    My son is going through the same thing. I'm guessing from your screen name that the issue is sleep, not friendship, which is the same issue for my son. He chose his roommate, but I warned him that it was a bad idea, as they have two entirely different schedules. The roommate is never home, which is great for my son who has plenty of his own friends, but the roommate comes in at 2-3am every night during the week and wakes my son up, and then the roommate gets up at 7am every morning and wakes my son up again. I don't know how the roommate survives on 3-4 hours of sleep a night, but my son is getting really tired of it. He has tried to talk to the roommate about it, but the guy is never there, and even when he tried to schedule a meeting with him, the guy didn't show up. I don't have any advice, but to say that you are not alone. I think my son has just decided to bear with it for the rest of the year, as they are in the "fun dorm" and if he requests a change, he would probably have to move out of the building. Good luck.
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