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Have you ever dealt with a roommate who kept to themselves?

sta3535sta3535 203 replies111 threads Member
edited February 24 in College Life
That's what I'm currently dealing with right now, even though we're civil and respectful of each other.

IMO, we're more like college acquaintances, but he does his own thing and keeps to himself.

Ever since I talked to someone about this situation, it made me realize that no one is forced to become friends with their roommate just because they live with each other.
edited February 24
8 replies
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Replies to: Have you ever dealt with a roommate who kept to themselves?

  • momofsenior1momofsenior1 9108 replies91 threads Senior Member
    You just described my D and her roommate and my own situation freshman year. It’s totally fine as long as civil and respectful continue to be the norm.
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  • milgymfammilgymfam 1316 replies25 threads Senior Member
    It seems like a fine situation. My D19 and her roommate are civil and courteous to each other, but they’re not friends and didn’t click beyond that at all. My D20 tends to keep to herself and prefers the company of books, so her future roommate will have a quiet and respectful roommate who probably won’t socialize much. It could be much worse.
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  • sta3535sta3535 203 replies111 threads Member
    edited February 24
    Not to change the subject, but does "D" stand for daughter?
    edited February 24
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  • RichInPittRichInPitt 2078 replies33 threads Senior Member
    I may have said 2 words to my Freshman roommate in the 6 weeks before I moved into a fraternity.

    When we saw the mother of my D’s roommate Freshman year, she said “I wish you luck. She very quiet and non-social”.

    Both were fine. As long as you don’t get in each others’ way, just sharing a room is fine. You don’t have to be friends with a random person assigned to you.
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  • milgymfammilgymfam 1316 replies25 threads Senior Member
    sta3535 wrote: »
    Not to change the subject, but does "D" stand for daughter?
    Yup!
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  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU 14376 replies103 threads Forum Champion
    I say think of it this way:

    Your "goal" of your roommate relationship should be that you can peacefully co-exist.
    If you end up being friends, all the better, but don't assume you will be best buds and think you have failed if you haven't.
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  • CompEngGirl123CompEngGirl123 52 replies4 threads Junior Member
    Yep. That was the way it was for both of my previous two roommates. Got along, and talked sometimes, but kept to ourselves for the most part. A lot of times, we would even spend the entire day without saying a word to each other.

    I think this happens with a lot of people because it's just easier to be roommates with an acquaintance than a best friend. Some people want to just lay down on their beds and relax a bit after a long stressful day of classes instead of chatting with a roommate (or anyone really), don't want their roommates distracting them while they're trying to study, and in general just want their alone time. Before I went to college, I imagined that my roommate would become like a BFF, but now, I'm kind of glad we did end up being more like acquaintances than friends because I really liked having my own space, and I especially liked not having to answer a bunch of annoying questions like "How was your day?" when coming home from classes for once.
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  • aunt beaaunt bea 10177 replies70 threads Senior Member
    Agree. If they are respectful and honest, you will have done well.

    My D2 had that situation in her freshman year and hated it because it made her feel very lonely. She wanted to come home.

    So, in her sophomore year, she moved in with a "friend" from high school and two acquaintances of the friend, who turned out to be very disrespectful roommates. Didn't pay rent or bills on time. Inconsiderate of D's property. Loud underage parties, etc.

    My daughter gave them notice, left that situation, at the quarter and moved in with people in her major, who ended up becoming her BFF's.

    You just need to live in the room, you don't need to be their buddies.
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