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I'm having issues coping with what I lost of my college experience

kamenridermachkamenridermach 50 replies33 threads Junior Member
I am in my fourth year of university and the virus has caused for classes to be cancelled and all club activities have been over as well. Honestly, I'm feeling sad as it is my fourth year in university and I was looking forward to spending more time with my friends and my club and heading out to social gatherings and meeting/getting to know folks but the virus has impeded that. I see so many folks acting like their year/time at uni is already over and honestly,I'm not sure if I'm ready for it to be over as this was all abrupt. I'm just feeling like I'll never get this back and it's bothering me a lot. I understand our health is more important but I feel like I've missed some chances/oppurtunities and this is making me feel really depressed lately. When I think of what could have been, I just really feel frustrated/angry and not sure how to cope

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Replies to: I'm having issues coping with what I lost of my college experience

  • TS0104TS0104 1368 replies31 threads Senior Member
    It is very abrupt, anticlimactic, and a hard loss for seniors. Both of my kids' colleges have sent out information about mental health resources available to students during this time, by phone, email, or online. I would guess that your school's counseling services are still operating as well; I encourage you to reach out to them.
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  • TiggerDadTiggerDad 2105 replies74 threads Senior Member
    Everyone has lost something because of the pandemic. Every time I think about what I've lost and continue to lose, I think about those around us who have lost their lives or their loved ones. Learn to appreciate what you do have and feel blessed that you do have what others don't.
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  • PublisherPublisher 11184 replies146 threads Senior Member
    Life is full of experiences--some good, some not so good.

    Look forward, not back.
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  • twoinanddonetwoinanddone 24558 replies19 threads Senior Member
    You can sign up for grad school if all you want is the university experience. Really, you are missing the last 2 months of a 48 month experience.

    Grieve your loss and move on. Everyone has something they have lost and it can't be changed. You just have to figure out how you can still get the experience[/quote] you want - chat with friends, participate in Zoom meetings, write a real old-fashioned letter, learn a language online, plan a reunion in August with your friends and do a graduation.

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  • Jon234Jon234 415 replies10 threads Member
    Watch the news, gain some perspective and count your blessings.
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  • blossomblossom 10335 replies9 threads Senior Member
    OP- big hug to you. I had a medical issue near the end of senior year in college and at the time, I was really upset about missing so many things. No- it wasn't a pandemic or anything close to what you are experiencing, but it was disruptive and meant that the fun stuff I had planned to do with friends before we all started our lives had to get cancelled.

    Guess what? Being a grownup is SO MUCH MORE FUN than being in college! I didn't even realize that until I had moved around a bit- a job, then graduate school, then a big move and another job, etc. One day you look back and realize that your life is so much better than it was as a senior in college-- and it crept up on you without realizing it.

    At one point, I had friends who loved planning big, elaborate long weekends away. We all worked for the same company, so we all made more or less the same money, so unlike college where some kids have unlimited funds and others have no discretionary funds.... we were all working adults. Guess what- I participated in ZERO of those weekends. I would have felt deprived and upset if I'd been in college (I was the kid on the limited budget) but as a grownup it didn't bother me at all. I was paying off loans, I had other financial priorities than flying to who knows where.... and I still saw my friends for local dinners and parties and long bike rides/picnics on the weekend.

    Try to come to terms with your loss- yes, this is not the senior year you had planned. But I promise you that this is not the last time in your life you will have friends and fun activities and people you care about. The first time I bought ballet tickets-- real, grown up tickets, not stand by, not finagling a last minute cheap ticket from someone outside the theater but an actual "pay in advance" ticket- I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

    You may not like ballet- but there will be something in your life a few years from now where you'll say "Hey, I couldn't have done that when I was a senior in college- how cool that I can do it now!" and you'll realize you've moved on.

    Hugs. This is tough for college kids for sure (and their families, and everyone else around the world....)
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  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU 14468 replies104 threads Forum Champion
    It is okay to be sad about this. It is okay to feel your feelings.
    It is okay to be frustrated. It is okay to be disappointed.

    But do make sure you do what you need to do to graduate and to apply for jobs (if you haven't already).

    Talk to other classmates as well.
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  • EmpireappleEmpireapple 2216 replies28 threads Senior Member
    I know...it's awful. I feel so bad for all the youth who have missed or are about to miss their "once in a lifetimes."

    My college student hates online class. He took a really hard fall semester to free him up for the spring semester so he could dedicate more time to a campus activity he enjoys. He was also looking forward to socializing more. This past weekend was my high school student's military ball and the weather was unusually perfect. Would have been a beautiful evening for the formal!

    I don't know if it helps but you are in good company.
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  • PrdMomto1PrdMomto1 494 replies7 threads Member
    How you're feeling is normal and don't let other minimize it. Life as you know it was abruptly changed and things you were looking forward to were cancelled. And I think it's particularly hard on those in their last year who often have different traditions to go through towards the end of the year to help transition to the "next" life phase.

    My D is a freshman and she is struggling a lot too. Her school has a lot of spring time traditions they were preparing for and looking forward to. Plus, in her case, she came home for break and then the kids were told not to return. So she didn't get to say goodbye to her friends. She is angry and depressed. And she does not like communicating via zoom though she does it. It's not the same. She also just doesn't enjoy the online classes. She finds it hard to get motivated and it's hard to find balance since the work is always there and there isn't a lot else to do. She understands it could be worse and there are TONS of people way worse off than her, but that doesn't mean she isn't feeling some loss and frustration at times too.

    While it's true that this will be a short blip of time in your life, it's OK to feel sad now about how things are!
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