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Making The College Adjustment

cosa nostracosa nostra Registered User Posts: 39 Junior Member
edited October 2008 in College Life
How long did it take for most of you people to get used to and accustomed to college your freshman year? I know there are many posts like this but this is really souring my college experience right now. I feel like I'm having trouble adjusting to the way of life here. I don't hate the school, in fact I love it, I just feel so disconnected. I feel like I've met many cool people but I don't know who my friends are. I feel so alone here because I don't have any close friends yet and it seems like there are many social circles forming around me. Im not an antisocial guy its just I don't feel comfortable going to frat parties with people I've just met and opening up to people so quickly. Yet I look around me and other freshman here prance around with each other and seem like they've known each other for ages and it hasn't even been two weeks...
Basically what I'm trying to get at is will it get better in time? Have I missed out and will the rest of my four years be dull and full of random acquaintances and not meaningful friendships??? Should I just hope things will change in time because Im tired of having nobody to talk to or hit up to do things with... How long did it take most of you guys to get settled in???
Post edited by cosa nostra on

Replies to: Making The College Adjustment

  • kevinhamilton08kevinhamilton08 Registered User Posts: 51 Junior Member
    I can completely relate to you on this one man. Time may heal all wounds but I know the feeling of not knowing who will be your friend and wondering where and how to meet like-minded and potential friends. Im a freshman at yale and I found it extremely difficult the first three weeks. I wasn't going to any major social events because I didn't have people to go with and people really didn't know I existed. But give it time and join clubs your interested in and youll come to see that the pieces eventually just fall into place. Hope that helps man.
  • cosa nostracosa nostra Registered User Posts: 39 Junior Member
    thx for the advice but im still skeptical because I know that two weeks can easily turn into two months and then two years and I might still be in the same position...Im so lost by this sometimes that when im in conversations i feel awkward because im thinking "these people im talking know who their friends are already and will they want to be friends with me..." Its really driving me nuts right now and I've never had problems making friends in my life until now. I hope things will get better......
  • cosa nostracosa nostra Registered User Posts: 39 Junior Member
    thx for the advice but im still skeptical because I know that two weeks can easily turn into two months and then two years and I might still be in the same position...Im so lost by this sometimes that when im in conversations i feel awkward because im thinking "these people im talking know who their friends are already and will they want to be friends with me..." Its really driving me nuts right now and I've never had problems making friends in my life until now. I hope things will get better......
  • FoworaFowora Registered User Posts: 144 Junior Member
    Dude you know it's funny, sometimes we wonder why we go through some stuff but if nothing else, it's so we can help other people when they go through the same thing. I know exactly how you feel. You miss the feeling of having a familiar group of friends, feeling like you're a part of something. Knowing how things go and where to go and what to do. Then bam frosh year at college and you have to start all over again. But dudeeeeeee trust me, it only lasts for a bit. So what if its two weeks or two months or whatever. By the time that awkward, frustrating, readjustment phase is over, you'll look back and be like ha ha I can't even believe how far I've come. A lot of college frosh feel like you, but it just takes a bit. It's like walking bro, not everyone learns how to walk at the same time but everyone eventually does, and then you can't imagine there ever being a time where you didn't know how. Keep your head up man, winter always comes before spring.
  • legendofmaxlegendofmax Registered User Posts: 4,737 Senior Member
    For me, a college senior, I'm still not used to the adjustment. I was so used to a certain kind of life for years. I grew up with the same large group of friends, and things felt more or less stable. When I came to college, it felt like my comfort zones had been torn away and I had to start all over, and I had no idea what to do. I'm not the best at making new friends because I'm so shy, and it usually takes a while for me to relax around new people and move past the acquaintance level.

    So, take it from someone who's spent a few years adjusting, haha: It can be a hard adjustment to make. Part of the reason why it's been so hard for me is that I've always been in relationships throughout my college career, and this has made it difficult for me to get out there and make other friends. Now that I am single, it's tricky for me, but I'm getting there.
  • cosa nostracosa nostra Registered User Posts: 39 Junior Member
    thx fowora and legend of max, but how long will it take? Its the third week now and i feel the exact same, I know my friends wont pop up out of nowhere...
  • huanghuang Registered User Posts: 148 Junior Member
    Then go out and make some. You said it yourself, friends won't pop up out of nowhere, you have to go out and pursue it. "How long will it take?"- is that a rhetorical question?
  • TikimoofTikimoof Registered User Posts: 93 Junior Member
    I'm in my sixth week, and I feel pretty adjusted. But those first few weeks did have a lot of those awkward moments, so I know what you feel like. For me, it did seem like a lot people bonded really quickly (and I guess I did too, but not as fast as others) and got really close.

    I guess one way to get over it is to be really open, since I think that's what I've been doing (obviously this won't work for everyone). Ask people how they're doing on a regular basis (and remember how they were from previous conversations) so they feel like they can talk to you - subjects can branch and you'll find stuff in common with them. Basically, talk to them outside of class/class-related matters. Conversation is key.

    Like huang said, go out and make friends! Don't stay completely passive!
This discussion has been closed.