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Guys: What do you think of girls doing the asking out?

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Replies to: Guys: What do you think of girls doing the asking out?

  • catsushicatsushi Registered User Posts: 1,970 Senior Member
    I say genetics because genetically men are more likely to value something they have earned, versus something that has been given to them. I'm sure I can find a psychological study backing this up but I have no desire to do so at the moment. Maybe later. I'm sure that this whole concept also applies to women. It's all part of our survival instincts, we want what's hard to get.
  • PseudonymPseudonym Registered User Posts: 649 Member
    But even if you could find a reputable psychological study backing up your hunch (which I'm not sure you could), you wouldn't have demonstrated anything about the cause, genetic or otherwise.
  • Russell7Russell7 - Posts: 1,414 Senior Member
    owned.
    ______
  • catsushicatsushi Registered User Posts: 1,970 Senior Member
    ^^Not necessarily.

    Why is what I'm pointing out unacceptable? Seriously, I guarantee you you would not be so into a girl who was all over you versus a girl who seemed somewhat disinterested in you.
    you wouldn't have demonstrated anything about the cause, genetic or otherwise.

    ? The cause here is not important, what I would be more interested in demonstrating that my point can be backed with evidence?

    This is turning into a petty argument.
  • PseudonymPseudonym Registered User Posts: 649 Member
    Just pointing out you didn't actually say anything to support your assertion.

    If everyone wants what they can't have more than what's attainable, then why would anyone ever say yes when they're asked out? Someone being interested in me doesn't make me any less attracted to them. My girlfriend is just as hot now as she was when I wasn't sure she was into me. If anything, a woman playing "hard to get" is a huge turn-off.

    You're the one who brought the cause into the discussion. The cause does matter--you're using genetic to mean inevitable, while I think the roles we have now are pretty much arbitrary (albeit a very strongly ingrained arbitrary system). I don't think what you're saying is unacceptable, I just think it's wrong.

    But anyway, IMO any guy who would think less of someone for asking him out instead of waiting for him to make a move isn't worth bothering with, regardless of whether he thinks that way for socially constructed or genetic reasons :-P
  • catsushicatsushi Registered User Posts: 1,970 Senior Member
    If everyone wants what they can't have more than what's attainable, then why would anyone ever say yes when they're asked out?

    I don't know, isn't the reason why girls say "yes" to guys asking them out different for every person? Once the girl says "yes" the guy feels like he worked for the girl's affections and appreciates it more. I don't know why this idea is "wrong", it's not like it's a bad thing.
    Someone being interested in me doesn't make me any less attracted to them. My girlfriend is just as hot now as she was when I wasn't sure she was into me. If anything, a woman playing "hard to get" is a huge turn-off.

    But you weren't sure if she was into you. How does that support your argument?
  • SHS_SpartanSHS_Spartan Registered User Posts: 943 Member
    I prefer it
  • purpleacepurpleace Registered User Posts: 47 Junior Member
    Well here's my ingrained social ridiculousness.

    I think most girls would rather the guy ask the girl out first. You may say it's "antiquated", but I still think most girls would rather the guy have the confidence to ask them out and for the guy to make the first move. Even if you're shy, as a lot of people have said they are, you should build up enough confidence. Maybe my ideals are old-fashioned, but I believe most girls would still prefer it to be this way, with the guy asking the girl out. I always was shy, really shy, actually, but at some point in your life, you have to stop being that way and live. I did and now I'm happily engaged. And I know for a fact that my fiancee wanted me to ask her out instead of the other way around. I never would have though different of her if she had, we just happen to be more traditional.

    P.S. I don't really care to start an argument. I was just introducing my two cents. Take it or leave it.
  • PseudonymPseudonym Registered User Posts: 649 Member
    I don't know why this idea is "wrong", it's not like it's a bad thing.

    Well, you can be incorrect about something (hence, "wrong") without being bad. And as it happens, I do think that idea is a bad thing when it's presented as the inevitable right or universal way to do things rather than a preference some people might have. Some people would rather be more active and some people would rather be more passive in relationships, and that's fine. I just think it's a little screwy to assume men should always be the active ones and women the passive, or that there's something more natural about guys doing the asking.
    But you weren't sure if she was into you. How does that support your argument?

    Because quickly finding out she was interested didn't change anything other than making me happy, and wondering (for all of the thirty seconds it took for her to walk across the room to where I was standing, LOL) whether she liked me didn't do anything to heighten the attraction.

    I haven't felt any differently about the people I've dated or hooked up with who approached me than the ones who I approached. And maybe my interactions are just more complicated than everyone else's, but it's not even always clear who "asked out" whom :)
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