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Am I right about my vision for college, is is my mother right?

Pinkfloyd7421Pinkfloyd7421 Registered User Posts: 14 New Member
I'm a rising HS junior, I'm ranked 8th in my class and I want to either major in business or law. Also, my mother and I always argue about the plan for college, so I listed my plan and her plan below.

My Plan
Go to a top school, such as UVA, William and Mary, or Washington and Lee
Go to Grad School, such as UVA's Grad Schools for Law, which was highly ranked
My Rationale: I should go to the best school that I can, since I've been working hard, and I think I deserve the best that I can get. Also, It is easier to get your first job, if you go to a more accredited and widely known university.

Mother's Plan
Start the 1st two years at a community college: NOVA Community College has a program where you can attend the 1st two years then transfer to any college that you get accepted to, benefits are cheaper tuition, but the professors are usually inferior
Go to a cheaper University: Go to George Mason University and commute
Mother's Rationale: If I don't live at college, and live at home in the basement, my mom can control every aspect of my life (that is literary what she said), I can focus on school rather than friends, I won't drink, I won't do "Un-Christian" deeds or be "Liberalized". Also, it doesn't matter where you get your degree, it matters that you get it, and George Mason is cheap compared to UVA.


The reason why I disagree with my mother, is because I could live stress free, not study, make B's and maybe even a few C's and get into Mason, so I think it is total crap. The main reason why I disagree, is because it would be better for me to go to a more accredited and widely known university. Also, I love my mom (sometimes), but there's no way that I want to live with her until I'm 22. Another reason is, because I want to have a social life, and I doubt commuting to college will allow me to have friends
Post edited by Pinkfloyd7421 on

Replies to: Am I right about my vision for college, is is my mother right?

  • XtremePowerXtremePower Registered User Posts: 1,661 Senior Member
    Can you post your financial situation ? How much can your mom pay ? This is what the answer depends on.
  • intparentintparent Registered User Posts: 36,904 Senior Member
    You are not "owed" any type of college education no matter how hard you worked. If you have the test scores to get a free ride at someplace like U of Alabama, go for it and leave your mom's influence behind if you want to. But if she is paying, you have to work something out with her. You can certainly get into a good law school if you do a stellar job at community college and after you transfer, and if you have good LSATs.
  • SikorskySikorsky Registered User Posts: 5,851 Senior Member
    I agree with intparent. You seem disturbingly willing to spend your mother's money on what you want.
  • JoBennyJoBenny Registered User Posts: 777 Member
    Your plan sounds fabulous as long as you can pay for it.
  • happymomof1happymomof1 Registered User Posts: 29,457 Senior Member
    Please do sit down with your mother (and whoever else is planning to help you pay for college), and have a long calm discussion about the money. You both need to know how much she is (or all of them are) ready, willing, and able to pay, and on what terms. For example, some parents will pay a bit more for a certain major, or for a certain college. Others have a set figure that they will contribute each year for four years, but won't shell out a cent for an extra semester if the student doesn't graduate on time.

    Ask your mom to help you run the Net Price Calculator at the websites of each of the places that are on your list and hers. The two of you may find that one or more are flat-out unaffordable for your family. Alternately, you may learn that all of them can be made affordable, and that money isn't likely to be an issue provided you are admitted.
  • OHMomof2OHMomof2 Registered User Posts: 12,619 Senior Member
    Third consideration: you want to go to law or business school so save all you can during undergrad so family funds can pay for that.

    Also, MBAs and attorneys can correct me, but I think admission to both depends a lot on GPA and test scores and those can be high wherever you go to college.

    Perhaps there is a medium ground for college whereby you attend an in-state public but sleep-away school or get a great merit/financial aid award at a private college.
  • mom2collegekidsmom2collegekids Forum Champion Financial Aid, Forum Champion Alabama Posts: 84,912 Forum Champion
    You're going to be largely limited to wherever your mom will pay for. Obviously, you can't force her to pay for UVA or some other school.

    Your mom may not have the money to pay for any college you want. She may not have the money to pay for room and board.

    If your stats are high enough, you might be able to get a very large scholarship somewhere.

    Since you're a rising junior, study for the upcoming PSAT (make sure you take it). Study for that test now.

    Also, during the next two years be very responsible so that your mom will trust you not to go crazy wild if you do end up living on campus.
  • MYOS1634MYOS1634 Registered User Posts: 41,566 Senior Member
    Apply to a variety of schools and try to get as much financial aid as possible (need-based if you're working class/real middle class, merit-based if you're upper-middle class to wealthy). If UVA makes you a great offer, I doubt your mom will disagree with your attending. However if the choice is between UVA for $30,000 and Community College for 5,000, you see where your mom is coming from. The only solution is for you to make the cost of whatever colleges you're admitted to as affordable as possible.
    If you want true safeties: Apply to University of Minnesota Morris, an honors college in Minnesota, where out of state and in state students all pay the same thing, and it's really low compared to most options. Same thing for Truman State in Missouri. Costs at Truman/Morris and a local school would likely be similar.
    Many students start at community colleges. However we know from research that top students who go to schools with the best resources (smaller classes, more tutoring/writing center support/professor support...) with a residential experience both do better academically and have a better experience than students with the same academic background but who go to less-supportive schools and/or commuter schools. On the other hand, hard-working, driven students succeed about anywhere (also backed by research :p) and what you do while in school is more important than the school's name... UNLESS they're first gen or URM, in which case the elite school makes a big difference.
    The CC-state school route is worth it if you can't do anything/anywhere else and for a variety of other reasons, but if you got into UVA on scholarship I can't imagine that your mother would disagree with your attending?
    As everyone said above, your mother doesn't "owe" you higher education. However if you've fulfilled your side of the contract and worked as hard as is possible and secured scholarships somewhere, you are entitled to something (that's why there's an expected family contribution: the expectation is that if a child has done everything to get into college, the family will try everything to help the child. "everything" varies depending on family but the expectation's there).
    The issue sounds confrontational right now, so don't discuss it as a rising junior. Discuss it as a junior who prepared for and did extremely well on PSATs and thus got tons of mail from lots of different colleges, plus has been selected for his/her state's national merit. You'll be talking from a surer footing then.
    BTW, colleges don't brainwash students. :p You won't get "liberalized" and "unevangelized" by going to college. However if you're uncomfortable with a liberal environment, or if your mom were to refuse paying tuition if the environment is too liberal (I'm thinking Smith or Oberlin :p) you'll need to think of "fit" very carefully.
    BTW2: you'd increase your odds by applying to colleges in the Pacific Northwest and Midwest, since they don't have many applicants from VA.
    Finally, you can't major in law. You can major in history/political science/IR (any of these or any 2 or major/minor) then go to law schools, which costs a lot and right now only leads about 30% graduates working in law and all with massive debt.
    Business is considered a preprofessional major thus preparing you for a job immediately after gradaution and one not too likely to lead to graduate school except for an MBA after a few years of work experience (top business schools may even prefer other majors for their MBAs.) Any specific reason you picked these majors?
This discussion has been closed.