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Waitlist depression :,(

deadgirldeadgirl 87 replies18 threads Junior Member
edited May 2019 in Stanford University
I literally just won three awards today/tonight... two scholarships for [redacted] and [redacted].. and one award called the National [redacted] Award which is the highest honor for [redacted]... I honestly don't care much about awards at all because to me, in the real world, I'm just a stupid small fish with a lot more to learn... but I was so excited to finally be able to update Stanford with my accomplishments for my waitlist.. so FREAKING EXCITED... and then FIVE MINUTES AFTER I WIN THE AWARD and sit down.. I get the notification on my email that I WAS DROPPED FROM THE WAITLIST... IF I COULD JUST HAVE ONE MORE DAY I COULD HAVE UPDATED THEM..... AND MAYBE HAD A TINIER CHANCE AT ACCEPTANCE!!!!!!!

Stanford was and still is the only school I really see myself enjoying. It has everything - from strong and CHALLENGING academics in the sciences and arts, to an AMAZING work-life balance, to a phenomenal support system, to WARM WEATHER, to literally a community of SUPER QUIRKY PEOPLE that are crazy interesting and all INSANELY PASSIONATE about what they do... I've visited colleges across the east coast and mid west... and I'm sorry but NO WHERE HAS THE SAME LEVEL OF PASSION AS STANFORD!!!!!!!!!

I tried my best to be happy for the rest of the ceremony but to be honest, I am EXTREMELY disappointed in myself.. And I mean EXTREMELY. Admissions officers at Stanford voted on my application (TWICE because I'm legacy) and majority literally voted AGAINST accepting me, yet accepted many others. That is COMPLETE evidence that there is something WRONG with me.. something that others have that I don't..... and will probably NEVER HAVE!!!!! I have no words to express my disappointment in myself. :,( I'll NEVER GET OVER THIS!!!!!! :,( I'm so EXTREMELY depressed....
edited May 2019
41 replies
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Replies to: Waitlist depression :,(

  • SouthernHopeSouthernHope 2119 replies216 threads Senior Member
    You have one thing going for you....you are *very* passionate. :) And I'm not being sarcastic...having strong feelings is a good trait in this world where everyone is like whatever.

    First of all, you're crushed. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way for a couple of days....one thing I will say (and this is not to minimize your feelings) but you did everything you could and, really, it was out of your hands...they may have sent you that note because they are literally telling everyone the same message.

    And others will jump in with more perspective than me.
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  • brantlybrantly 4228 replies75 threads Senior Member
    Your post conveys a huge over-reaction and a bit of mania. I don't think that explaining how college admissions works—that it's not a linear ranking of the worth of individuals—would even be helpful to you. Have you spoken to your parents about your feelings? And about the mindset that produced your user name? Which college have you committed to?
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  • KnowsstuffKnowsstuff 6930 replies30 threads Senior Member
    From your name alone this is who you are but I am not buying it. You are too smart to know that your chance at Stanford is like my chance of getting in and I am 58.. 🤔.

    It's also not about you. It's about who they think they need for their campus. You are going to find out that the best thing that happened to you is that you didn't get accepted into Stanford. Now you get to prove to yourself that you got what it takes to exceed anywhere. Stanford would of been too easy and comfortable for you. Now you get to i prove them wrong.

    It's like saying if I don't get a Google internship I can't work anywhere else.

    You will do great things at the university that you will be going to in the fall. After you start your semester and get involved in the campus Stanford will be a distant memory. Trust me this happens yearly on CC.

    Good Luck on your next adventure in college
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  • intparentintparent 36291 replies644 threads Senior Member
    Go read the book Bad Blood and think about how the culture and some profs at Stanford contributed to that debacle. There are good things about Stanford, but bad things as well. It might help you get over your unrequited crush to think about it that way. No school is perfect. And your success in life will have far more to do with how you conduct yourself than with what college you attend.
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  • ColoradomamaColoradomama 2779 replies32 threads Senior Member
    I know a lot of girls who were very unhappy at Stanford, boys too. Its hard to go to a school like Stanford, especially for legacy kids. Many professors at Stanford will say ridiculous things to female athletes, saying they don't belong there. I think spending four years at Stanford is a way to feel even worse about yourself than you already seem to.

    There is no such thing as "work life balance" at a university. Its all play. So any thoughts like that are artificial
    and in your own head, because maybe you have not had to work so far.

    It might be good for you to move away from your parents, and find a job in a major city, far far away from home.
    Work and do some thinking about who you are.

    Colleges are not you. Getting into colleges fades in a year or two after graduation. Stanford was not the place for you, so figure out where you belong.

    Awards also fade quickly. Throw them in a drawer and make a life plan.
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  • BookLvrBookLvr 207 replies5 threads Junior Member
    edited May 2019
    Some things to know:
    1) College admissions are not some objective contest where the "BEST" applicants win the prize. College admissions are a subjective process done by human beings and they are doing their best to assemble a class which will meet a variety of institutional priorities.

    There is definitely NOT "something wrong with you" or "something that others have that you don't."

    My sister went to Stanford because she excels at a particular sport. She is not in some objective sense "better." I would not be at all surprised if there are many ways in which your accomplishments and abilities exceed hers. She was what the university wanted the year she was admitted. That's all.

    2) Stanford is a tremendous school, but it is hardly the first place that trips off my tongue when I think of a college with "super quirky" individuals. It wouldn't be in my top 10. Passionate? Yes, I think you will find some very passionate people at Stanford...but I'm not convinced there are more there than at other institutions. You will find some passionate soulmates at pretty much every good college...FOR REAL!

    3) I do really enjoy and appreciate Stanford, but if you want me to list things that are less than great about it to make you feel better, I could do that. I was pretty underwhelmed with my sister's freshman dorm, for example. I think rather than riding down a great university, though, you would be better off EMBRACING all the amazing opportunities you will have at the college where you are currently deposited.

    I'm the parent of a current junior, and if she gets in to any one of her top eight choices--including one which is a safety--there are going to be things that she will LOVE. Hopefully there are things you love about all the places you are considering.

    4) Remember, you can always do a graduate program at Stanford!

    Find peace with the process and move on to the next chapter. Good luck with your college career!
    edited May 2019
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  • KnowsstuffKnowsstuff 6930 replies30 threads Senior Member
    edited May 2019
    A really good friend of mine kid didn't get into Princeton. Even after being a national debate champion multiple times, all highest grades but "only" a 35 Act... Lol... Think Princeton actually invited him to campus for something....

    He was accepted to Northwestern, Michigan and University of Chicago. He is a senior now and loved his time at UChicago from like day one. Definitely the place for him, no question. Did I feel bad for him... Well no since he had other great choices to go to. Princeton was a distant memory like after the first week of college.
    edited May 2019
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  • Houston1021Houston1021 Forum Champion Rice 1278 replies28 threads Forum Champion
    It is natural to grieve for a bit once a door closes, but another one has opened. Now that your path is clear, embrace the choices you have. If it makes you feel better go onto the Columbia and CMU pages and read all of the posts from the disappointed students that feel about those schools the way you feel about Stanford. Many would love to change places with you. You can always apply to Stanford for grad school.
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  • thingamajigthingamajig 353 replies3 threads Member
    Hi @deadgirl I get it that you are coming here to vent. And, also, congratulations on these latest accomplishments. I hope that you are beginning to realize what a "catch" you are for any university, anywhere. Once again, I think CMU is the place for you. You know who Stanford hires? people from CMU. Columbia also a fantastic school, but something about your posts here tells me that you might do better in a city that is still fun, but with fewer distractions than NYC. Best wishes to you.
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  • RiversiderRiversider 934 replies111 threads Senior Member
    In all fairness, it was OP’s first choice and as a minority and double Legacy, she had better odds than most so her disappointment is understandable. She’ll move on, it’s a stressful time for all high school seniors.
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  • parentologistparentologist 209 replies20 threads Junior Member
    Most of the adults and virtually all of the students on this site can probably recall having been rejected by their dream school. I was so miserable when I was rejected by my dream Ivy, and then was very happy at a different Ivy, which turned out by coincidence to have the best program in the country for what I wound up studying. It will be okay. It will work out. You will go to CMU or Columbia, and will likely be very, very happy there, and very successful there.
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  • CountingDownCountingDown 13690 replies113 threads Senior Member
    One of the most important tools you'll need in your college (and life) tool kit is resilience. Time to work on that life skill, as whatever college you attend will demand resilience in a variety of situations.
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