Hey, I am new to posting, but I have lurked for awhile and this seems like it is a pretty good site so I might as well try my luck here.
I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I feel like I don't have any friends because everyone always betrays/abandons me. I cycle between depression, anxiety, and total self confidence on a day to day basis. Stuff like that. I have tried different therapists but didn't really like any of them. I never feel like the medications they give me help me any, but I keep going back to my psychiatrist because I don't know what else to do. Any advice on coping, getting better from this, etc. would be greatly appreciated.
But my real question is: Where should I go to college? I think I am a lot better than I used to be, but I still have problems. My initial inclination is to go Northeast or to the West Coast (I am from the South), but would being far from home be bad? I don't have any ties to home like friends in high school and my family is generally not supportive. My mother is kind of neglectful and leaves me to deal with things on my own, and I try to remember that it's not her fault because she is working hard to support us as a single parent, but sometimes it's just hard. I really don't want to stay near home because that's where everyone in my high school is and I really want to have a fresh start, a new chance at making friends. I want to go somewhere that would be nurturing and help me figure out what I want to do with my life while I try to get better. Really, the only thing that would keep me in the South is my boyfriend who is in college about an hour from my home. He is very supportive of me in general. Sometimes I feel paranoid and think that he hates me and doesn't care about me but I know it is just the disorder talking. My relationship with him is my best relationship that I can remember. I really just want to make some friends though, as I haven't had a friend who is a girl in so long. I would just go to BF's school, but I think it is silly to place so much value on a relationship so young, and many people from my high school go there too.
So yeah, it seems like everyone puts stats on here so here are mine. If I leave anything out, I'm sorry, just tell me and I'll let you know.
White female from the South
High School Type: public, never sent anyone to a better school than a couple of small in-state LAC's that are not well-known
High School Rank: 5/600ish, hopefully I will move up a few spots by the end of the year
High School GPA: 3.85 uw, 4.9 w
SAT: 750 M, 650 CR, 680 W (did not study at all)
SAT II (taken for a scholarship): 680 USHist, 740 M1 (did not study)
AP's: 5 Biology, 4 English Lit, 5 Calc AB; taking USHist, Psych, and Stat this year
HS Courseload: All honors and AP's, except for some CP requirements for HS diploma and newspaper/band classes that qualify as CP; also took Latin and French
EC's: high school newspaper ed-in-chief (along with other positions on staff over past few years), played in marching band all through high school-band placed as high as 6th at state competition (not looking to continue though), president of school's Young Democrats, secretary for Environmental Awareness Club-help collect school's recycling every week, Gay/Straight Alliance, volunteered at a day camp for one summer, self-studied some Japanese for a couple years
Awards: NM Commended Student, a few community honors for being a distinguished student, AP Scholar, Academic Honor Society
Job Experience: worked last summer at Rite Aid
Recs: will be really good, from newspaper adviser who adores me and Calc teacher who says I am the smartest student he's ever taught (not to brag or anything, sorry if it sounds like it)
Essays: should be good
Possible Major: dunno, I like the humanities and social sciences a lot but I really have no idea
College type: LAC; in Northeast or on West Coast, although I might consider the Midwest too actually; not super urban; less than 5000 students; excellent academics overall; helpful professors; no fraternity party atmosphere please; no super religious schools as I am not religious; good, supportive counseling program I suppose?
Thanks for your help and sorry again if I forgot something, as I am new and all.