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Rooming with your best friend

helenrezhelenrez Registered User Posts: 258 Junior Member
edited January 2008 in Cornell University
My best friend from high school may be coming to Cornell as well after she receives her RD decision. I was told that it's not a good idea to room with your best friend because it could "ruin your friendship". Do you guys think it would really be a bad idea?
Post edited by helenrez on

Replies to: Rooming with your best friend

  • monkey89monkey89 Registered User Posts: 87 Junior Member
    That's pretty much what I've heard. Obviously, it's up to you, but it's tough to live in the same room as a very good friend.
  • dg5052dg5052 Registered User Posts: 778 Member
    I wouldn't recommend it--it may prevent one or both of you from throwing yourselves into new activities and new friendships; there's a high potential for jealousy issues if one of you is more outgoing and independent than the other; the shyer one may tend to rely too much on the more outgoing one, so there can be jealousy from one and resentment from the other. If you are at the same school, you will definitely still remain friends and see each other friequently, but IMHO, especially as a former shy college freshman, it is much healthier and much less risky NOT to room together. There's really no upside and a huge potential downside.

    If your friend is assuming that you will room together, you should present it to her that in the interest of NOT ruining your friendship, you shouldn't room together, that you just don't want to take that risk--which is true, I assume.
  • AnbuItachiAnbuItachi Registered User Posts: 1,348 Senior Member
    uh 2 of my friends are best friends and they are rooming and everything is giong great. they signed up as roommate for next year housing too
  • AppleappleAppleapple Registered User Posts: 196 Junior Member
    It depends...

    in most cases it's not a good idea because you will have no boundaries. If you see your best friend 24 hours a day and she/he starts to get on your last nerve, what will you do? Would you tell her/him?

    The best roomates in my opinion are ones you can draw boundaries (this is yours, this is mine)
  • intl_echointl_echo Registered User Posts: 182 Junior Member
    It can really go either way. Your choice probably depends on taking a hard look at how well your personalities mesh and what your waking/sleeping schedules are going to be like (which can be quite hard before college starts.)

    I ended up at Cornell with one of my best friends, who EDed and made up her mind about having a single before I had even submitted my application. I completely respected her choice and probably wouldn't have considered living with her even if we did make the decision at the same time. Even though we're really close, we have very different personalities (introvert v. extravert, Democrat v. libertarian, atheist v. "unaffiliated"), and while we can have civil and interesting discussions, they just should not happen in a 150 square foot room! Our situation has really worked out beautifully, though, she has easily made friends with the people from my hall; she and my roommate, whom I did not know before Cornell, are good friends now. We can hang out all the time and take classes together without us wanting to kill each other :)

    However, if you and your friend are really similar, it could be a great thing. Most of our friends are at the University of Maryland, and many chose to room with each other. I have yet to hear a horror story from anybody, but these people are much more similar in terms of personality.

    The other school of thought is that if you room with one of your friends at home but don't get along with each other, you've broken an established friendship, but if you and your random roommate don't get along, you haven't really lost anything. I also agree with everybody who points out that it's harder to "put yourself out there" when you can always just stick with your best friend. Even if you do branch out, if you and your friend go to all social events together, you might not end up liking the same people, which would hinder making other friends.

    Think it over, definitely. Based on how easy it has been for my best friend to still be a huge part of my life without us getting on each other's nerves, I would recommend choosing different rooms.
  • MyarminMyarmin Registered User Posts: 679 Member
    Like people above have said, part of being a freshman is branching out and finding new friends, and spending a lot of time with your best friend can take away from that. (I myself felt a little guilty because towards the beginning I spent most of my time with friends from high school.) Not that that's a bad thing... if you're like most people, you'll probably find other friends to hang out with too. Also, I agree with what dg5052 says about the shy/outgoing problem. If both of you can agree not to hold on too tightly to each other, and you guys are certain that you won't end up hating each other, then I would go ahead.
  • ajp87ajp87 Registered User Posts: 403 Member
    absolutely HORRIBLE idea. obviously there will be cases where everything works out...but take it from someone like me with first hand experience, DO NOT DO IT. part of the allure of college is living in close quarters with brand spanking new people. thats really the whole point. rooming with your friend will not only hinder your social life at Cornell, it will most likely destroy that friendship all together.
  • laurstar07laurstar07 Registered User Posts: 1,053 Senior Member
    DONT DO IT. if your friendship lasts, you wont need to room to prove it. plus, if you are always with yoru BFF from high school, how are you going to meet other people? you are just going to want to hang out iwth her 24/7. leave your past life behind. start fresh in college and enjoy the ride :)
  • jcas323jcas323 Registered User Posts: 567 Member
    DO IT.. while it may not be ideal to be with your best friend, it is very very ideal to be with either someone you know, or in a single. If you think a single is antisocial, youre wrong. From what I have seen and heard over 3 years at Cornell, everyone (almost) who didn't request someone they knew a little, ended up with someone weird/that was a pain. It is really a good idea to be with someone you know you will at least get along with. I would suggest a single though. You never really understand how good it is to have space to yourself until you get here.
  • SuNaSuNa Registered User Posts: 923 Member
    I roomed with my best friend. We got along fine but others kind of stood back, figuring we had each other. I made fewer friends than I should have and it affected my entire four years in college. I recommend against it: you will still have your friend on campus to hang with (and her roommate and dorm mates), and living in a single or with an unknown roommate will, each in their own way, force you to meet new folks.
  • helenrezhelenrez Registered User Posts: 258 Junior Member
    Makes sense. I don't think we would annoy each other, but rooming with her would definately make it so much harder to make new friends. Thanks for your help!
  • ajp87ajp87 Registered User Posts: 403 Member
    don't be stupid. just room somewhere else. you can see your friend any time. what SuNa said is exactly what can and will happen. don't sell yourself short, cornell is clique-y to begin with
  • littlehamsterzlittlehamsterz Registered User Posts: 74 Junior Member
    I don't recommend it. You will be there with your friend every single day. Their stupid, insignificant, yet annoying habits will get to you. You'll get tense around exam time, etc. You'll probably end up fighting.
  • FellowCCViewerFellowCCViewer Registered User Posts: 3,777 Senior Member
    it may prevent one or both of you from throwing yourselves into new activities and new friendships

    yeah, esp. that new friendships part. i'd suggest dorming somewhere close?
  • tuntun Registered User Posts: 726 Member
    Don't do it. I did it, and it wasn't bad, but I definitely could have been pushed to be more social or make more friends than if I didn't. Freshman year is the most important year IMO because that's when you'll make most of your best friends in college.
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