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Life after Leaving BS - Success Stories

pwalshpwalsh 218 replies16 threads- Junior Member
edited December 2013 in Prep School Parents
Reading a couple of other threads seem to indicate that a good number of students leave BS for various reasons (academic stress, social issues, LDs, lack of fitness with BS etc.). If we collect all the reasons for leaving BS and what they did after leaving BS would be very valuable to current and prospective students and parents.

Why did you or your S/D leave BS, what did they do after leaving BS (went back to PS, another BS)? How are the problems overcome? It will be great to hear success stories after leaving BS. I hope this information will be useful to parents to catch their kids before they fall through the cracks. This information may also shed light on which BSs are supportive and which ones are hands-off type.
edited December 2013
32 replies
Post edited by pwalsh on
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Replies to: Life after Leaving BS - Success Stories

  • stargirl3stargirl3 3391 replies37 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Bump...
    It'd be interesting to see proof that BS isn't the be all end all.
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  • hastalavistahastalavista 93 replies10 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    If someone truly left BS, I doubt they would come back to CC. What would be the point?
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  • classicalmamaclassicalmama 2244 replies17 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    My thought as well hasta...the only person who might respond is someone who has one kid in bs and one kid who has left...and in that case, I think the parent would not respond out of respect for the kid's privacy.
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  • 2prepMom2prepMom 1129 replies11 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    I have one D in BS (very happy) and her older sister, who tried a year (sophomore at non GLADCHEMMS) and left to return to our local public.

    The one-year boarding school experience with older D was valuable, but painful because leaving was not voluntary. But, D returned to her thankfully good local school and did fine (as she had freshman year), and used the experience to write about in her college essays (thanks to suggestions here at CC!!!) about what she learned and how she changed and faced future challenges differently. She's done fine with college acceptance to her first choice college.

    So there is life after BS, both for those who stay and for those who leave. Many do leave, it is not a good fit for some kids, and can be overwhelming being away from home for the less mature student. My older D was totally overwhelmed mainly by the workload, but the social pressures played a role too. Many of her friends that year in boarding school left too, and they have been doing well, and still stay in close touch with each other.
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  • calhockeymomcalhockeymom 56 replies9 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    Well my son came home in March of last year. I got lots of support here and actually am reading here because someone reached out to me about being unhappy in BS. My son is doing well. He didn't do that great academically when he came back but managed ok and now is doing well in his classes. He had a great summer with his friends and got a part time job that is continuing into the school year. He's playing sports. I think his confidence took a hit but he is generally the happy kid we knew before he went away. We are really enjoying having him home as a young adult. He's now a senior and we know he will be gone again soon. It's too early to say "success" but it was definitely the right decision for him and he's much happier and healthier.
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  • pwalshpwalsh 218 replies16 threads- Junior Member
    Was the BS not a good fit or was he homesick?
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  • ChoatieMomChoatieMom 5251 replies240 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    You can follow calhockeymom's journey here: [thread=1448222]I'm not happy here, mom[/thread]

    Thanks for the update, mom. Hugs and continued good luck to your son.
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  • Scotland45Scotland45 159 replies18 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    I have 3 sons. The eldest graduated from BS, the middle did one year at BS and the youngest says "I'm never going to BS".

    The middle son did one year at the same school as the eldest happily graduated from. We were a bit unsure if it was the right fit for him but he insisted it was the only school he wanted to attend. During that one year he was overwhelmed by the amount of work, he was in almost all honor classes. He hated the food, didn't get along with his roommate, the list goes on. Deciding whether or not to return was agony for all of us! He came home to our mediocre public school. He will be graduating this year. Here are my thoughts-

    Turns out all the stress of school happens for him at home too. Just less tears.
    Having his friends since kindergarten around has been wonderful.
    He wishes he had stayed at a BS, maybe not the one he was at.
    He misses the academic rigor and the many opportunities in classes, sports and the arts. We have a very small PS, only 35 kids in the graduating class.

    Was it the right decision to bring him home? I'm still not sure about that. Overall I would say yes it was. But if we had done more pushing in the beginning, getting him to look at other schools, maybe the outcome would have been different. He still says we should have forced him to go back.

    He is currently applying to colleges. Probably the same ones he would have looked at if he had finished at BS!
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  • surfcitysurfcity 2519 replies60 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    My daughter did 1.5 years at a BS, although she was a day student. We loved the school, she loved many parts of the school, but in the end, her temperament was not suited to the 12 hour days, 6 days a week model. She is an introvert and needs some down time and creative outlets to recharge her batteries and it simply wasn't available in the BS schedule.

    The school was very accommodating; they do however report that it is a demanding atmosphere and not every kid is cut out for it.

    D is now at a tiny arts/holistic schools and absolutely loves it. In fact it is probably the polar opposite of BS in terms of teaching style and student. SHe made some friends at BS but was uncomfortable with the affluence of much of the student body. Or the display of affluence, at least.

    The irony is, when I look at college acceptances for both schools, they are very similar. I think at her current school my D will love to learn. It is not for everyone, I think my S would have liked the competition in the BS, but he opted to stay in the public system and got a great education and preparation for college.
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  • babykinsbabykins 63 replies5 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    Hello, I know this thread my be dead but, I wanted to say thank you from a newbie. This is so helpful.
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  • PelicanDadPelicanDad 525 replies11 threadsRegistered User Member
    Surprised to find myself here...hard to truly categorize "success," but after leaving BS in January of junior year, DC finished strong, did exceptionally well on standardized tests, has a rigorous curriculum planned for senior year including community college classes, and just returned from a superb overseas service trip. Fortunately his new school has a crackerjack college counselor and DC is being greenlighted to apply to any school. Not that that means acceptance, but statistics are "playing field" worthy. So who knows?

    Sometimes situations--peer situations--unfold at BS that neither the school nor the family can control. All I can say, without wanting to disparage the school, is BAD peer situation. In those circumstances, schools will often care less about the full truth than what is politically palatable. DC was hung out to dry by BS. I understand why, but sure it leaves a bitter taste knowing the truth was not even considered, much less supported. Tough lesson at a tender age, would make for a great classic prep school novel.

    We'll weather this, too. When college results roll around next spring (or maybe in December), I'll try to remember to post something. But without hesitation, have to say that 2 years at BS was enough; the strong academic lessons and work ethic are now ingrained, so there's really no worry about future academic success.
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  • 24daffodils24daffodils 134 replies6 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    @PelicanDad, thank you for posting. I just wanted to extend support. It is not easy being the parent of a teen…a wild road sometimes, isn't it?

    It seems that your DC has hit the ground running, though, and you have weathered the storm well. Albeit maybe with a few new gray hairs for dad, huh? I bet it all will have a very happy ending when college admittances come around. Please keep us posted!
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  • EJMDADEJMDAD 5 replies0 threadsRegistered User New Member
    @PelicanDad, thanks for posting. As a ridiculously long-time parent lurker, I have resisted prior postings for a number of reasons, although I will admit that I came close to breaking my silence during this year's admission season when I read StarGirl's results. But I have very much enjoyed your straightforward and insightful posts over the last couple of years, so wanted to join others in thanking you for posting and to share my hope for nothing but the best for your DC. Would have PM'd you with some additional thoughts, but that's what I get for lurking -- limited access! Please keep us posted!
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  • stargirl3stargirl3 3391 replies37 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    @EJMDAD :x :x :x
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  • ChoatieMomChoatieMom 5251 replies240 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Congratulations to PelicanKid and PelicanFamily! Thanks for keeping us posted PD. :)
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  • PelicanDadPelicanDad 525 replies11 threadsRegistered User Member
    Thx, CM, I know this next couple of months is a long stretch...wishing all '15er parents great outcomes
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  • HarvestMoon1HarvestMoon1 6200 replies28 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Sending another congratulations PelicanKid's way. I think you handled the whole situation extremely well and the happy ending is well deserved. The diplomacy you exhibit on this board relative to the school is admirable.
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  • DaykidmomDaykidmom 559 replies1 threadsRegistered User Member
    Ditto! Congrats!
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