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cyberprincesscyberprincess Registered User Posts: 2 New Member
My boyfriend & I are planning on attending college in fall of 2017. We want to be able to share a dorm together, is that possible? If so, is there any colleges in Illinois that allow that? If we aren't allowed to share a dorm what is our next possible option?

Replies to: Dorm

  • ChiefMongerChiefMonger Registered User Posts: 100 Junior Member
    Why don't you just get an apartment?
  • saif235saif235 Registered User Posts: 1,042 Senior Member
    I would not advise this as a general rule. There are so many things that could go wrong - you could break up and be stuck in a year long dorm contract, you could get into pointless roommate arguments that threaten your relationship, you could become socially cloistered because you spend all of your time in your room with your boyfriend, and the list goes on.

    As for which colleges have gender neutral housing policies here's the most comprehensive list I could find:
    http://www.****/lists/list/colleges-with-optional-gender-neutral-housing/736 However, each of these schools will have their own policies as to who can request gender neutral housing. I know at my school only sophomores can request gender neutral housing and I'm sure that's true for many schools on this list.

  • FireflyLightsFireflyLights Registered User Posts: 213 Junior Member
    Sharing a dorm room with you boyfriend is a Bad Idea, just like saif235 says. Two people on my floor this past year dated and then broke up - and then had to spend the entire rest of the year avoiding one another in the bathroom and stairs. It was horribly awkward not just for them but for the entire floor, and they weren't even roommates. You two should not room together. You should also not choose where you go to school based on where your boyfriend is looking - I know it seems like you'll be together forever, but I know almost no couples who stayed together between senior year of HS and freshman year of college - and it's not just distance. You have no idea if you'll grow apart, and you do not want to be tied to a college application list that was set up for you to be close with your boyfriend if you guys end up breaking up. Even if you don't break up, rooming with someone else freshman year is an opportunity for you to expand your social circle at your school.
  • KnittergirrlKnittergirrl Registered User Posts: 220 Junior Member
    I don't think it's a good idea. I'm going to assume that you're both freshmen, but this applies whether you are or not. College, especially your first year, is a time of HUGE change. I just finished up my first year and I know that I'm not the same person I was before. While you and your boyfriend may very well make it through the year, you may not, and I think it might be a bad idea to risk living together in a tiny dorm room. I don't think most colleges even have "gender neutral" housing for first-years.

    If possible, I think it would be great if one or both of you could get a single room. That way, you still have a place where you can have private time together without worrying about a roommate, but you still have the ability to go back to your own space at the end of the day and get away from your SO for any reason. My boyfriend and I are very close and we spend a lot of time together, but it's still nice to have my own space. That said, it DID suck that both of us had roommates, especially considering that mine was almost always in the room and went to bed pretty early, even on weekends. I tried to be considerate of her, but I'll admit that there was one time (Valentines Day) that I asked her a few days ahead of time if she could give me the room for the night and sleep in a friend's room, which she agreed to.

    My boyfriend and I are still together and it's been almost a year. We both are living in houses/apartments with roommates but our own bedroom. Assuming that all goes well next year (year 2 of college), we would definitely consider getting our own apartment our 3rd year.
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