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To those who feel lonely/homesick/friendless/think they chose the wrong school, etc...

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Replies to: To those who feel lonely/homesick/friendless/think they chose the wrong school, etc...

  • paoluchsingerpaoluchsinger Registered User Posts: 77 Junior Member
    I’m in the same boat right now except I’m a rising junior. I never thought it would be so hard to find like minded people who I just naturally click with. Hopefully this year wil be better since I’m studying abroad in Spain spring semester which will be such an amazing experience. Right now I’m trying to change my attitude and put myself out there more even if it’s difficult at first. I guess I shouldn’t take rejection so personally especially since I probably won’t ever see most of these people again after graduation. I was one of those who was misled into believing college is the best time of ones life but hopefully the best is yet to come. Good luck to all!
  • desertgirldesertgirl Registered User Posts: 3 New Member
    Thank you, I came back to my home state after being away for two years, and I find myself having trouble making new friends, as of right now I really only have my high school friends, which they are great but I'd like to open my circle more. I posted more about it on my page asking for advice so if you could check it out and give me some tips I'd really appreciate it!
  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 9,266 Senior Member
    If any students reading this are afraid of putting themselves out there, please read this post by a new freshman who took some offered advice to heart. You can start at post #20.
    https://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/2100675-i-ve-been-in-college-for-more-than-a-month-now-and-haven-t-found-friends.html#latest
  • wisconsingirl78wisconsingirl78 Registered User Posts: 1 New Member
    Best thing I've read!
  • hgrad2010hgrad2010 Registered User Posts: 133 Junior Member
    Everyone has had really great suggestions, but in my experience the easiest way I connected with people was participating in extracurricular clubs that are time intensive and necessitate collaboration of some sort. Think clubs that organize conferences, for example.
  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 9,266 Senior Member
    Wow, how great is this???!!! It's an update from Emery, the girl who made that wonderful video on page 1 of this thread!
    https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html

    I encourage all students who feel lonely, friendless, homesick and/or who think they chose the wrong school to please read this. You will get through this time, and you are not alone.
  • basitq14basitq14 Registered User Posts: 29 Junior Member
    Thanks so much for the encouragement
  • ReligiousdudeReligiousdude Registered User Posts: 17 Junior Member
    Really nice post, it's already helping me.
  • collegemom3717collegemom3717 Registered User Posts: 6,286 Senior Member
    @Lindagaf, just saw the NYTimes update you posted- that is super! thanks for sharing.
  • paoluchsingerpaoluchsinger Registered User Posts: 77 Junior Member
    I'm still very much friendless and lonely at Bard College after three years which was partially fueled by a horrendous roommate experience my freshman year, but in 17 days I'm going abroad for a semester to Madrid, Spain. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm the only person from my school who's going to Spain so that's gonna be fun. Hopefully people there will be much more open minded.
  • paoluchsingerpaoluchsinger Registered User Posts: 77 Junior Member
    It feels like finding like-minded people who I click with and who like me back is almost harder than getting a boyfriend lol.
  • ElsaElsa Registered User Posts: 2 New Member
    In my case it took me two whole years to finally feel at ease and not homesick. But by Senior year I was so happy and terribly sad to leave! It just takes time! And not giving up unless one really feels such a great need to be near home and emotions are so bad that mental or physical health is impaired. In those cases of course it is important to go where one has support. Best wishes to all.
  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 9,266 Senior Member
    Nice post @Elsa . I’ve seen a new crop of posts on this forum from kids who are still having a tough time. It might take longer than expected before you feel good about your college. I recently spoke to a friend who hated his entire first year of college. He went back for sophomore year because of finances and still hated it, until spring semester. He now realizes that he had some growing up to do and that the problem was him, not the college and not the other students. He decided it was time to make the best of things and enjoyed the rest of his time in college. He still has lifelong friends from those days, because he realized there is never a time limit on making friends.

    There seem to be a lot of kids panicking right now about being homesick. Remember, your home and your family are always going to be there for you, even when you aren’t physically with them. One sign of growing up is that you understand you can love and miss your family without needing to be with them all the time. Give yourself time.
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