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MOB and Officiant -- what to wear?

my3girlsmy3girls Registered User Posts: 314 Member
My middle D is getting married in May. I am officiating (I am ordained clergy). For most weddings I wear a dark grey suit (not in a tradition that wears robes) but for this wedding I'm the MOB too. For her sister's wedding I found a nice neutral suit that went with the style of the wedding, but it was a very informal wedding I'm having more trouble this time. The colors are watermelon and eucalyptus and the bridesmaids are wearing a cream floral dress in those tones. Neither their dresses nor the bride's have lace or much embellishment. I'm not svelte (size 16) but tall. I had a vision of a soft dress with a jacket in a eucalyptus shade but that doesn't seem to be in fashion right now and everything that is dressy seems to have lace or sequins.The guys are wearing grey.

So far this is the closest to what I had in mind but it has all that glitter and lace.https://drapers.blair.com/p/scallop-lace-t-length-dress-by-alex-evenings/169186.uts?q=jacket+dresses&count=500&rank=rank17&is=Y&page=5&store=17&keyword=jacket+dresses&intl=n

If you were both MOB and officiant what would you wear for a semi-formal wedding? Does it matter?
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Replies to: MOB and Officiant -- what to wear?

  • HImomHImom Registered User Posts: 33,544 Senior Member
    edited February 19
    When I officiate civil weddings, I ask the couple if they want me to wear the black choir gown aka judge’s robe I purchased or a nice dress. Many times they request I wear a dress. I’ve never been MOB.

    I’d wear something you love. I’ve seen some officiants wear a nice decorative sash instead of it with a robe, something like this:

    https://www.thesashcompany.com/store/product/dove-with-olive-branch-peace-white-clergy-stole-with-fringe

    Some of the suggestions in the MOG thread would be nice to consider.

    Honestly, I often shop Macy’s and Marshall’s, since there are branches near my home and returns are easy.

    What colors do you favor which are becoming on you? I might start from there. Also, what length do you prefer? Style(s)? I personally love wrap and sheath dresses and they look good on me. I’m better with vivid colors than pastels.
  • yourmommayourmomma Registered User Posts: 1,192 Senior Member
    Any chance you can do a Cher and change? Be "official" for the ceremony. And "elegant" for the reception.
  • bajammbajamm Registered User Posts: 1,496 Senior Member
    What does your D want? My D just got married in December, my H (her dad) is clergy and officiated. He spent some time finding a tie that keyed into the color scheme just to find out an hour before the ceremony that she didn't want him color coordinated with the men.
  • HImomHImom Registered User Posts: 33,544 Senior Member
    Agree that changing after officiating is another option, if that appeals.
  • mathmommathmom Registered User Posts: 31,604 Senior Member
    I like what you posted which looks lacy but not glittery to me. I'd love to see a picture of it without the jacket as well. I like the idea of something where you wear the jacket when you are officiating, but then can take it off and look more less serious and more like partying. Something like this: https://www.jjshouse.com/Sheath-Column-V-Neck-Knee-Length-Lace-Mother-Of-The-Bride-Dress-008143384-g143384/
  • my3girlsmy3girls Registered User Posts: 314 Member
    I actually am leaning toward changing at this point. I want to have a "fancy" dress and I'm just not sure about officiating in one. Not sure why though. Just wondering if you'd think it weird if the officiant wore sequins!
  • HImomHImom Registered User Posts: 33,544 Senior Member
    edited February 19
    Honestly, I don’t think folks pay much attention to anything the officiant wears—the eyes are on the happy couple during the ceremony.

    I think folks will be charmed that mob is doing duty as officiant. I don’t think a bit of sparkle would be our if place under the circumstances.
  • zipyourlipszipyourlips Registered User Posts: 1,370 Senior Member
    I would think a "fancy" dress for an officiant who is also MOB would be delightful. It would not occur to me that the officiant should be wearing something severe or staid.
  • my3girlsmy3girls Registered User Posts: 314 Member
    My D doesn't have strong feeling except for not wanting me to clash. To stay in the color family basically. I look fine in pastels tones but I'm becoming more and more certain that trying to get something that matches the colors in the bridesmaids floral will not work. I really like the idea of having a jacket that can come off for the reception. I'll keep hunting for those.

  • HImomHImom Registered User Posts: 33,544 Senior Member
    I think as long as you’re not directly clashing, many things would work fine. A long or short jacket the comes off in the reception is excellent as well.
  • busyparentbusyparent Registered User Posts: 945 Member
    I recently attended a wedding where the aunt was the officiant. She wore a pretty cashmere shawl over her dress for the ceremony.
  • my3girlsmy3girls Registered User Posts: 314 Member
    Ooh that's a lovely idea.
  • orangepurpleorangepurple Registered User Posts: 150 Junior Member
    a shawl that's pinned with a brooch maybe so that it won't move around and distract you might be nice. If you could find a jacket that goes over a dress, that would be nice. Or change if you can't find something that works for both parts of the event. And by that I mean, something that works for YOU. I think it would be fine to wear a dressy dress to officiate since you are the MOB, but it that doesn't feel good to you, wear a suit and then change to a dress.
  • happymomof1happymomof1 Registered User Posts: 28,875 Senior Member
    With a jacket, your dress could have a pretty glittery bodice, but not much would show until you took the jacket off.

    Can you have your dress made instead of trying to find what you want off the rack? That might give you more choices in color and style.
  • momo2x2018momo2x2018 Registered User Posts: 569 Member
    I think that suit is beautiful and very appropriate for MOB or officiant.
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