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Parents of the HS Class of 2019

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Replies to: Parents of the HS Class of 2019

  • sahmkcsahmkc 591 replies19 threads Member
    I thought that with this being my second child to go off to college it would be much easier. However it is turning out to be quite different. My DS18 went random and became great friends with his roommate. There were some of the usual issues of getting used to sharing a space with another person, but overall it worked just fine. DD19's college does not allow Freshman to choose their own roommates. She got her roommate assignment last week and it is pretty much my daughter's worst case scenario for a roommate. Not only is the roommate the polar opposite of DD, she either lied on her roommate matching form or housing completely disregarding any of my DD's general lifestyle criteria. For example my DD put she was second from the top of cleanliness and Roomie says she's messy. DD is an early to bed early to rise and roomie says she get up in the middle of the night to study - but not to worry she has a really bright task light to do her work. Her roommate said she is not social and does not want people in their room. DD wanted her room to be a social room. Roomie said three times in their conversation that she hates people. She told my DD that she had no friends in High School and then preceded to talk about how she and DD would be besties celebrating their birthdays together as their birthday is the same day and basically implying she expected to live with DD for the next four years. My DD was in tears and started having anxiety. After much deliberation, I decided to call housing to see if anything could be done. While housing agreed that it seemed to be a mismatch, they would not guarantee that a roommate change would occur. DD has pretty much said she is not going if she has to live with this roommate. She said she could survive with a non-social messy person, but she can not be woken up at 3:00 am on a regular basis by roomie doing her homework. She's worried that this would affect her academic success. I think it might be a good idea for DH to call (you know because he's not the hysterical mother) and reiterate how important it is to get DD a new roommate for academic reasons. I'm not sure how long we should wait to call back. I don't want to be in a situation where DD says she's not going days before move-in.
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  • thedreamydaisythedreamydaisy 228 replies7 threads Junior Member
    @sahmkc I am sorry you are dealing with this. I have not been there (popping in from the 2020 boards), but I think I would have my husband follow up. I would likely also be the overly emotional Mom and so DH might handle it better.

    S20 and I were actually touring a school a couple of weeks ago and they mentioned that they have completely done away with the "roommate matching" surveys/forms because they found that students either weren't all honest on them or their parents were filling them out for them based on the type of roommate they wanted for their child. And the results were not great.

    I hope you can get this changed for your D and that she will feel less anxious heading off to college.
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  • bjscheelbjscheel 742 replies5 threads Member
    @sahmkc I'm sorry to hear about the roommate issue. Going away is hard enough without these worries. I know DD'17's friend was at our house when she got her roommate assignment and they were total opposites as well. She was bummed. But the friend gave it a shot and basically they ended up coexisting without talking, which isn't the worst thing in the world. On the other hand, one of DD'17's suitemates seemed to be exactly like DD and she turned out to be a big problem...all to say you never know.

    DD19's school has a policy where you can be moved the second week of school, no questions asked. I would have your DH call before the end of the week so you know whether you can fix it and relax; or buck up and brace for the worst (while hoping for the best).
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  • StuffedquahogStuffedquahog 160 replies1 threads Junior Member
    @sahmkc I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope it is resolved this summer before school starts. My daughter went random too. She finds out later in the month who her roommate is. I am panicky but I am not showing my uneasiness to her. My S16 went random and it worked out well. They are still roommates and they are seniors this year.

    Please keep us posted. Hoping for the very best outcome for your D.
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  • jellybean5jellybean5 227 replies0 threads Junior Member
    @sahmkc I got a bit of anxiety reading your post, so sorry this is happening to your daughter. I know I could not live in a tiny dorm room with someone who hated people in general! Yikes. Are there single dorm rooms that your D could possibly transfer to? Fingers crossed for her!
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  • crknwk2000crknwk2000 380 replies15 threads Member
    @sahmkc i feel for your girl and for you. hopefully there is a way to make a change or maybe this person isn't as much of a mismatch as she seems to be. But when someone starts off saying that they don't like people that doesn't seem hopeful. I'm sure that if it really is not a fit at all, the college will make sure that she can make a change. If I were you, I'd wait 3 days and then call back if you don't hear anything . That gives them time to respond and lets them know that you are very serious about this. Hang in there......
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  • sahmkcsahmkc 591 replies19 threads Member
    Thanks for your support! I'm so glad that I have a place to vent and get advice so that I'm not burdening my daughter further with my own anxiety. I think we are going to wait until Monday afternoon to call. The roommate assignments were not supposed to come out until then and my DD reports that there are several students who have not been able to contact their roommates. My guess is that there will be other roommate change requests once those roommates are contacted. I'm thinking there are probably mismatches between students who are plugged in to the college through social media and those who have no social media and are not even checking their email accounts. At least my DD's roommate responded to her email!
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  • payn4wardpayn4ward 3206 replies13 threads Senior Member
    Congratulations @Vineyarder ! Welcome home!
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  • payn4wardpayn4ward 3206 replies13 threads Senior Member
    Hello all, I have been away for a long time. All is well.
    I do not like this new view of CC page.. I may have to resort to a Text only browser..
    I wanted to send DS19's AP scores to the college but was away for so long from college stuff, so I forgot both his CB username and password (that I created when he was 6 or 7th grade.) LoL
    He got 4's and 5's and is bummed that only 5's will get him credits. oh, well.
    The class registration was crazy. He got up at 5:30am our time to be ready to hit the registration button at 7AM EST. The college website went down as apparently hundreds of students did the same. After a few retries, he managed to register all the classes he wanted: Calculus 3, Applied Chemistry, Physics 1, Heart, and some Labs.
    We do not hear about the dorm decision till the end of the month. He wants a single, but we will have to see.
    Last month, DS19 traveled to Tokyo for a week. He flew on his own and met up with his school friends.
    I took a trip to Turkey and Greece with friends and loved it.
    We will have to start gathering stuff for his move in August 23/24th. DS17 decided to stay home and commute to school for next year so that is a bummer for me. :-O We/he will save quite a bit of $$.
    Hope everyone's summer is going great.
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  • ParentMom4ParentMom4 13 replies3 threads Junior Member
    Congratulations!
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  • SJ2727SJ2727 2719 replies14 threads Senior Member
    @Vineyarder congrats on coming home and great results!
    @Britmom5 - LOL! I guess the universe has a way of keeping some twins together!

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  • juststaycooljuststaycool 76 replies0 threads Junior Member
    Hi @peachActuary73, it sounds like your daughter may have been sorted into the same residential college at Rice as my son. He found out this week he is in Weiss!
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  • peachActuary73peachActuary73 425 replies0 threads Member
    @juststaycool She landed in Duncan. She wanted a more historical college, but she's fine. She decided to let me know this morning that their house colors are green and gold. My response "gross". Eagerly awaiting roomie info.
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  • homerdoghomerdog 8326 replies119 threads Senior Member
    Did anyone take the July ACT? D21 did not but I’m a tutor and had two students take it. Both thought the science and reading sections were a little harder than they expected. All prepped with real ACT tests and has been doing well so I was surprised. Just wondering if anyone’s kids here had any feedback!
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  • zipstermomzipstermom 177 replies2 threads Junior Member
    edited July 2019
    @elena13 Ditto. I am excited for her, sad for us, and anxious at the thought of how much needs to happen over the next 31 days. :neutral:
    edited July 2019
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  • milgymfammilgymfam 1592 replies28 threads Senior Member
    edited July 2019
    @elena13 I’m sad. Excited for her, but sad because I’ll miss her. She’s sad too, and broke down in tears the other day because she’s gonna miss me and her sister. I told her we will see her as much or more than when she was at boarding school, and she told me this felt different because it feels more permanent. I think the first month will be hard, but by the time she comes home for fall break (on my birthday!) she’ll feel better and pretty settled.
    edited July 2019
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