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Best Wishes Class of 2010!! Parents too!

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Replies to: Best Wishes Class of 2010!! Parents too!

  • soozievtsoozievt Registered User, ! Posts: 31,521 Senior Member
    Ericsmom,
    I really will be thinking of you since I have followed Eric's journey for so long and have met you and everything. He had such an amazing summer going into this too. You guys really researched schools in depth and I truly believe you have found a great fit for Eric. He already has met kids and is on his way. When kids have looked forward to college for so long, plus have a passion in a particular area and are entering a program with like minded kids, they are in their element when this adventure begins. What's not to love? You've been to Elon enough times and know what it is all about.

    I know how hard this step is to let your "baby" go but you just KNOW he is going to have the time of hs life and THAT helps so so so much. I mean what more could a parent want then to see their kid happy? You are just moving onto a new stage of parenting them not on a daily basis. But you are still involved in their lives, just in a different way. It's an adjustment after 18 years for you, no question about it. I got used to it and so it doesn't affect me daily like it did in the weeks after first dropping them off. However, I must admit when I read threads like this every year at send off time, I become a sap. I become a sap every single time I say goodbye after a visit, etc. Even so, the one thing I never worry about is whether they are enjoying themselves. I realize some also worry if their kid will like college or being away from home and all that is also common and some kids actually are homesick or don't end up loving their school. Each kid is different but in this particular area, I wasn't concerned. My kids had been away from home before and have loved it. Also, they eagerly want to go away and have no trepidation when going to new program where they don't know anyone. I'll be sending one of my kids to a study abroad program this fall where she does not know anyone and that is VERY far away. With the college send off, it also helped that each was going to one of her first/favorite choices and so that can be a plus because they really wanted to go and their schools were a good fit. Now that my kids are at their colleges, I can truly say they love them and I can see how each chose the perfect fit for herself. That's all I cared about.

    So, now you can use the phone, email, IM a lot. My kids haven't lived at home since they started college and likely never will again. That is a tough idea to think about and even now, this thread gets me choaked up so I better stop!! :) When I don't read threads like this or don't think about this sort of thing, I'm fine. I have gotten used to no kids at home and you will too. Some things, even though they were a joy at the time, I don't miss, like the constant driving and juggling of schedules! I miss going to events constantly but we still see their events but must travel much farther to do so. You will too. Besides the usual calls home, sometimes they call while walking down the street to tell me something exciting that just happened and to share it. That's always cool too. So, you'll still "there" but it is just long distance, you'll see! I know what you are saying about the distance but the kids are so busy and away is away and the only difference really with a kid within six hours vs. further, is the ease of seeing them but otherwise, it isn't much different. It is not like I go running to my kids' schools and they barely ever get home. They are too involved to do so. We try to catch events and such. Both my kids have gone entire semesters without ever being home and they are less miles from us than your son will be. When vacation breaks and summers come up, my kids make all these plans and aren't home either. Neither was home for spring break and for only a small portion of winter break and only a tiny part of summer break.

    I know you'll cry when you leave 'em and be in a weird state for a few weeks but then it does pass (until ya read threads like this every year and rethink the whole deal again!).
  • 5pants5pants Registered User Posts: 529 Member
    oooo,

    Here is how much of a sap I am. Days after we dropped the guys off to school, I literally bawled in the grocery store...especially their when I caught site of their favorite foods. Walking into their room was a guaranteed meltdown also....like time stood still.

    Two years later, it is better. They took the car to school this time, so it was breakfast at I-Hop beforehand and then a loving good bye, call me when you get there moment and off they went. I KNOW it will not be easy for us when the youngest leaves in two weeks....it will be deja vu all over.

    Thank goodness for cell phones and computers. Those items keep them close by.

    Best wishes Ericsmom & to Eric!! srw, hang in there!! ;)

    SUE aka 5pants
  • soozievtsoozievt Registered User, ! Posts: 31,521 Senior Member
    SUE, those were the two exact things that got to me right after taking my kids to college, particularly the first time around. Going into the market and seeing foods I would normally pick up that she liked and thinking, oops, no more. Same with going in the rooms. (to all parents about to go through this....it doesn't last THAT long...) Even my younger one who was writing college essays soon after the older one left for her freshman year, starts off with how it hit her when she had to set the table for only three, not four. So, it affects everyone. But it is merely a change and transition to another level of the relationship and stage of life. You guys will all get over this hump!
  • EricsmomEricsmom Registered User Posts: 1,224 Senior Member
    Susan and Sue - Thanks so much for your kind words of wisdom. Both of you were so helpful last year as we went through the process, having been there and done that before. I can't thank you enough. Really, this site and all of my friends here have meant so much! I can tell that your support will continue to help!

    srw - Best of wishes to your son at OCU. OCU holds a very special place in our hearts after last summer's camp. My son really clicked with all the faculty. I think one or two camp friends from last summer are going there, and he has older friends there. My son also hit it off very well with his roommate at BTP in July from TX who is a freshman in MT at OCU.
  • srwsrw Registered User Posts: 1,480 Senior Member
    Ericsmom, thanks, we think it is a very special place too. He called me this afternoon and seems to be settling in well. After a couple of days I am settling in well too!
  • LexismomLexismom Registered User Posts: 207 Junior Member
    5 more precious days before we take our d to Elon and I will be jumping on board with the empty nesters! This will be very hard to say good by for all of us. Like Eric's mom mentioned, it will ease the blow knowing how well our d loves Elon as do both of us but I already feel a heavy heart knowing that this part of her jouney is over as she starts a new one. My son is also getting married on 9/9 so a lot of changes will be taking place. D is in the wedding so it is comforting knowing she will return shortly, however, hard to miss a day of classes (that happens when we live so far away).

    Many thanks to all of you who were so helpful with information. Hopefully, I can help in some way with the class of 2007.

    Lexismom
  • 5pants5pants Registered User Posts: 529 Member
    Best Wishes Lexismom!! You have a very exciting year ahead of you.

    SUE aka 5pants
  • DeboDebo Registered User Posts: 1 New Member
    I have followed this site for a while now and as I am from Scotland I am totally confused about your further education system. However I am reading with interest your feelings of dropping your children off for the beginning of the next stage of their lives. I did that last year and had no worries about mine going to England to a Drama school she had dreamt of from the age of 13. Unfortunately I am now really worried about her going back as it did not work out as planned. She was vey homesick from about the third month and it did not get any better. In fact she ended up depressed and we did not think she would make it to second year. Things are back to normal now but she goes back in a months time. She is ready to go but does not particularly want to. She says she knows she has to as she still loves performing. I dont want to put a damper on the site but my question is this. Has anyone else been through this and does it get better. She is studying Musical Theatre
  • 5pants5pants Registered User Posts: 529 Member
    Debo,

    I think there are some parents who post on this thread who do have experience with what you and your D are going through. Perhaps they will jump in and speak up.

    Thank you for posting and welcome to the board. You offer a very unique insight. If there is anything we all can do to help you understand our continuing education here in the states, please ask.

    SUE aka 5pants
  • dancersmomdancersmom Registered User Posts: 582 Member
    Debo,

    I'm sorry that things have been less than rosy for your D. You write that things are back to normal, yet your child does not really want to return to school. I wonder if she has really recovered from her depression. I am concerned about her feeling that she "has to go". Has she seen a therapist? I know that this is a difficult situation for you. I do have some insight into performers coping with depression, but I would prefer to discuss it privately. If you would like to "talk", please e-mail me. If you click on my screen name, you can access my e-mail address.

    Kathy
  • marianne406marianne406 Registered User Posts: 146 Junior Member
    We just returned from dropping our D off at Webster. She is really happy there! Every time I start to get sentimental it has helped me to read these threads and to know that it will pass. At least I was prepared for the things that might make me sad because of your wisdom.

    A toast - to all of us for encouraging our children in whatever way we can and now let's get out there and enjoy ourselves (maybe a cruise?)!
  • LexismomLexismom Registered User Posts: 207 Junior Member
    Hello parents of 2010, especially those who have their tissue box ready. I promised myself that I would keep everything under control when we drop of our d at Elon. (can't guarantee plane ride home)

    Just wanted to share an idea. Dan & I just bought a web cam. This will enable us to actually see Lexi. I know she will be glad at first but after the first month or so it will wear off. Just nice to know we can see her smiling face! We bought it at Best Busy on sale for $60.00- well worth it!

    Lexismom
  • BiGismamaBiGismama Registered User Posts: 254 Junior Member
    and returning the toast, to all of us! We are also home after dropping off our daughter at Webster. Leaving her was really tough, but the difficulty was lessened greatly by seeing how happy and "at home" she was. It's as if she were dropped in a world of kindred spirits!

    My nest isn't empty (like many of yours), we still have a younger daughter at home, but empty or half-full, the difference is palpable. I'm already looking forward to fall break!

    Well done, everyone, and thanks for all of the advice and stories which have gotten me through this crazy past year.
  • EricsmomEricsmom Registered User Posts: 1,224 Senior Member
    Lexismom - no way any of us will keep dry eyes during the freshman convocation / acorn ceremony on Sat. am! I'm packing extra kleenex in my purse. Have a safe trip!

    Others - they give each freshman at Elon an acorn at this ceremony (Elon means oak in Hebrew, I think), and they give them an oak sapling upon graduation.
  • 5pants5pants Registered User Posts: 529 Member
    An acorn....how cool is that?!!! AND then an oak sapling!! I love it!! Can you tell I am a very visual person?

    Kleenex, by all means....and don't scimp on the cheap stuff...buy the Bounty kind!! ;)

    SUE
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