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Graduation gift etiquette

PackMomPackMom 7650 replies17 postsRegistered User Senior Member
edited April 2009 in Parent Cafe
Give me your opinions.... I'm interested in your take on college grads. Note..S1 graduates fr. college next week. I have not sent announcements.

My Neice 1(brother's D) sent me a college grad. announcement two years ago. I had never received a college grad. announcement before. My sister and I agreed that a card with a nice note would suffice. So that is what we each sent. My sis (no kids of her own) has been a little miffed in years past that neice never sent called or sent thank you's for birthday gifts.

Our families not esp. close and basically see each other at Christmas. My S2 is a college freshman in the same town bro.'s family lives in and they have not once this year invited him over to their home or taken him out to eat or made any real contact at all which has been disappointing to me as my bro. promised to "look out for him" this year (brother actually works at the univ.)

So, last week I received Neice 1's Master's ceremony announcement. Also received Neice 2's (her sister) high school announcement the same day.

Do people usually send out announcements of Master's degrees? Do they expect gifts?
I would tend to say no but in this case, I will be sending Neice 2 a high grad. gift (as I did Neice 1 for h.s.) so am concerned that they might see it as some kind of slight to Neice 1 if I don't do something for her. Would a nice congratulatory card be enough? I will prob. send neice 2 about $25 which is what they sent my S2 when he graduated h.s last yr.
edited April 2009
3 replies
Post edited by PackMom on
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Replies to: Graduation gift etiquette

  • maineparentmaineparent 895 replies3 postsRegistered User Member
    my suggestion is to take the sibling issue off the table....the one between you, your sister and your brother and his not delivering on his promise....

    instead, focus on your own personal knowledge of your two nieces and decide what you want them to have from you to mark this specific time in their life......neat sunglasses for the master degree recipient, since her future is so bright she needs shades...... or a recipe box and a dozen of your favorite recipes.....consider a barnes and nobles gift certificate to the college bookstore for Niece #2 or a pair of flip flops with her new school logo on them, or a beach towel.....or whatever .... I like great headphones for HS graduation gifts...for folks I really care about..... coupons for homemade cookies..... a box of decorations for the different holidays for her to put up in her room her first year at college......

    one cannot keep score when it comes to gifts...... it has to come from the heart.... if your heart is saying NO, then just do the cards..... don't buy into the family hullabaloo, cause that stuff has a half life....and will never, ever end!!
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  • wolfpackmomwolfpackmom 154 replies20 postsRegistered User Junior Member
    I've received all kinds of graduation announcements, from family, friends and mere acquaintances. I always acknowledge them, either with a note or with a gift. If I don't know them that well, I only send a note of congratulations. For most of the others, I send a check with a note of congrats. If I am especially close to the person, I send a nice gift or a larger check, and a note of congrats.
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  • JustaMomJustaMom 2672 replies96 postsRegistered User Senior Member
    I just saw this (rerun) episode of The Big Bang Theory, and I do believe the character of Sheldon has it all sewn up:

    Sheldon: You bought me a present? Why would you do such a thing? I know you think you're being generous, but the foundation of gift giving is reciprocity. You haven't given me a gift, you've given me an obligation. The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me. Ah, it's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year. Oh, I brought this on myself by being such an endearing and important part of your life...
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