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Nerd Jokes

polter93157polter93157 Registered User Posts: 767 Member
edited June 2010 in Engineering Majors
anyone know any? don't worry, if you reply, that doesn't automatically label you as nerd. plus, nerds are smart, and that's a good thing...

i just thot this might liven up the atmosphere here
Post edited by polter93157 on
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Replies to: Nerd Jokes

  • gianievvegianievve Registered User Posts: 1,821 Senior Member
    Are engineers considered the epitome of nerdiness?
  • KountingSheep987KountingSheep987 Registered User Posts: 642 Member
    that and math majors, lol
  • GShine_1989GShine_1989 Registered User Posts: 635 Member
    Nerdiness = smart = education = job = $$ = house, cars, spouse = happiness.
  • feifei . Posts: 688 Member
    seriously jocks are only "cool" in highschool. once out of there they usually end up at mcdonalds...while nerds make money.
  • polter93157polter93157 Registered User Posts: 767 Member
    come on, we future engineer are smart. one of us MUST know a good joke
  • silmon77silmon77 Registered User Posts: 656 Member
    Here's one:

    3 engineers and 3 accountants were taking a trip to a conference. At the train station, each accountant bought their ticket. However, the engineers only bought one ticket for all three of them. The accountants asked how they were going to get away with only having one ticket, and the engineers told them to watch and see.

    After they boarded the train and it started moving, all three engineers locked themselves in the bathroom. When the conductor came to collect the tickets, he knocked on the door. The door cracked open and a hand shot out with the ticket. The conductor, not knowing that there were three people inside, took it and moved on. After he left the car the engineers came out. The accountants, were impressed, and told the engineers that they would try the same trick on the return trip.

    On the way back, the accountants got one ticket, but the engineers didnt get any. The accountants laughed and wondered how the engineers were going to get themselves out of this one. After everyone boarded the train, and it started moving, the engineers hid in one bathroom, while the accountants did the same in the other one. Just before the conductor entered the car, one of the engineers came out, walked up to the accountants' bathroom, and knocked on the door.
  • ariesathenaariesathena Registered User Posts: 5,088 Senior Member
    So an engineering student was walking with his friend and pushing his new bike. The friend admired his new bike and asked where he got it. The first engineer said, "Well, this woman came up to me yesterday, threw the bike on the ground, threw her clothes on top of it, and said, 'Take whatever you want!' "

    The second engineer said, "Well, you made a good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
  • kierkekierke Registered User Posts: 81 Junior Member
    You know, it's good internet etiquette to contribute in the first post instead of just making a topic and asking everyone else to contribute. Moving on...

    Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct31 = Dec26

    A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. Upon being asked the price, the bartender responded, "For you? No charge."

    Two atoms are walking down the street. One suddenly stops and says, "Oh no, I've lost an electron."
    "Are you sure?"
    "I'm positive!"

    An engineer is walking to work when another engineer pulls up beside him in a shiny new motorcycle. The first engineer asked him where he got the bike.
    "Well, I was walking to work when this beautiful woman rides up on the motorcycle, got off, took off her clothes and said 'Take what you want!'"
    "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

    If I could be your integral, I'd be indefinite, so I can be the area under ALL your curves.

    I want to be your derivative, so I can be tangent to all your curves.

    You're like a nonpolar covalent bond. Get it? You're not attractive.

    And the ultimate joke: 42
  • wbk2t9wbk2t9 - Posts: 20 New Member
    there are 10 different kinds of people in this world

    Those that know binary and those that don't
  • wbk2t9wbk2t9 - Posts: 20 New Member
    wow so fuggin' nerdy

    (Runs away screaming Pi is rational)
  • peggypeggy Registered User Posts: 359 Member
    kierke: you confused my husband until we realized that Christmas is Dec25, not 26 :)

    My favorite Engineer joke:

    Some people say the glass is half full. Others say it is half empty. Engineers say you made too much glass.

    Peg
  • thomaschauthomaschau Registered User Posts: 510 Member
    heh I prefer this variation of it:

    Some people say the glass is half full. Others say it is half empty.

    Engineers say the glass is twice as large as it needs to be.
  • polter93157polter93157 Registered User Posts: 767 Member
    kierke, terribly sorry. i was afraid someone was going to point this out. i however do not know of such jokes, and that is why i created this thread. BUT i will use google to make up for my lack of formality. please enjoy:

    A mathmatician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume.
    The mathmatician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.
    The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement.
    The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball table.
  • auscguyauscguy Registered User Posts: 308 Member
    -kierke

    My EE prof had spoke the exact joke during class

    Two atoms are walking down the street. One suddenly stops and says, "Oh no, I've lost an electron."
    "Are you sure?"
    "I'm positive!"
  • ariesathenaariesathena Registered User Posts: 5,088 Senior Member
    Polter: that's hysterical! Maybe it's only funny for those of us who spent our undergrad time looking through tables of every darn thing under the sun... but that's great.
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