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What do I do when my parents are rich but won't help pay my tuition??

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Replies to: What do I do when my parents are rich but won't help pay my tuition??

  • twoinanddonetwoinanddone Registered User Posts: 14,063 Senior Member
    Your dad can 'insist' you go to school but if no one pays that $3000 in tuition this will be your last semester. They won't let you go if you don't pay.

    Make a budget with what you loans and aid cover and show it to your father. Show him the bills from the university. See if he has a solution to your shortage.
  • AroundHereAroundHere Registered User Posts: 2,436 Senior Member
    I'm sorry, but if dad is not paying and you don't live in his house and you pay your own way, he can't really force you to enroll in classes when you don't have tuition money. You need to learn how to stand up for yourself. I strongly suggest that you not enroll unless you have a way of paying. It can lead to all kinds of bad consequences to your credit rating and educational record.

    I doubt there is anything you can say to your dad that would change him in short order. Have you shown him your pay stubs and your bills? How exactly does he think this is supposed to work? You need to learn new strategies to deal with a difficult situation. If your health insurance includes any kind of mental health coverage, you should look for counseling.
  • KDhomieKDhomie Registered User Posts: 15 New Member
    Well, only 54 credits transferred and I would need 56 to be considered a Junior but I'm a sophomore according to them, this is my third year of college, I will most likely be a 5th year senior if I want to keep a high GPA. I pay for my own medical bills and books and fix my car (really my stepmoms car). I just need help paying tuition, yeah it's a lump sum but it's not crazy expensive. He wound up paying 1988 and I paid the rest. I paid for my own parking pass that was 120$, my own settup with our Utilities which was 300$ and all my own rent and apartment fees myself (there's literally only one utilities company here and they charge outrageous prices btw), my own textbooks and I fixed my own laptop. So I'm not mooching off of him, just saying. He's an intimidating guy and I'm usually at a loss of what to say to him to get him to listen.
  • KDhomieKDhomie Registered User Posts: 15 New Member
    I wanted to start going to the free counseling here at the University, it's supposedly really nice. I just don't have time. I just need this short amount of assistance until I can get a good scholarship.
  • flatKansasflatKansas Registered User Posts: 503 Member
    Taking a break from school may not be an option in his eyes, but if you can't afford to pay for school then you plain can't go. Its not like he can force you to go if you aren't even able to enroll due to finances.

    Are you all paid for the current semester? Maybe break down your income, college costs, r&b, etc., for the next semester, and then show him the deficit amount. Show him that you wont be able to afford it, and let him know you'll have to take a hiatus unless he has some better suggestion.
  • thumper1thumper1 Registered User Posts: 63,461 Senior Member
    Where are you planning to get this big scholarship...as a third year student? Really...unless your department has something available, you just Are not going to see a big scholarship. Even departmental scholarships are only a couple thousand dollars a year.

    I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer here...but it's not that easy for third year students to suddenly get big scholarships from anyplace. That's just reality.

    I still say...show your dad what YOU can contribute...and what you have contributed. He might surprise you and understand.

    Also, it's nice that your step mom is allowing you to use a car. But I'm really hoping you can leave that at home with them...because having a car will also use your needed money for college.

  • gearmomgearmom Registered User Posts: 2,308 Senior Member
    edited September 7
    @KDhomie I actually really like that your in the sorority. It seems like the expense is $1500 a year which would actually make no difference in that even if you had that $, you could not afford college at this rate. The sorority provides a family for you. Talk to your sorority about your situation to see if you can pay less. Are you a pledge?

    Let your dad know that the college is going to kick you out for nonpayment because the college IS going to kick you out for nonpayment. All that insisting that you stay in goes no where. Then you will have to work until you can pay the bill. Then you can restart.

    He should have received $2500 from your tuition he doesn't pay for from American Opportunity Tax Credit. Can he at least give you that?

    You have every right to be frustrated.
  • gearmomgearmom Registered User Posts: 2,308 Senior Member
    @KDhomie There won't be a good scholarship. They are very difficult to get. Your only options and leaving school, working and saving or dad helping out if it is really that important that you don't stop.
  • gearmomgearmom Registered User Posts: 2,308 Senior Member
    @KDhomie Do you have any other family? Would your step mom help with talking to your dad?
  • KDhomieKDhomie Registered User Posts: 15 New Member
    My step mom gets onto my Dad all the time about it. He said not to worry and that I will be put through school. And no, he can't force me, but he can hold financial things and my job over my head since he's my boss. I want to go to school. It's just really stressful and frustrating when he says he doesn't want to pay for it, even though he did anyway. The reason I'm trying to find a scholarship now is because I just transfered from a community college. I will be eligible for scholarships once the Fall19 semester starts, and apparently only a few of my credits didn't transfer making me a sophomore, even though year-wise I am a junior. It's not uncommon for people at this school to be 5th year seniors, in fact, most everyone I know will be 5th year seniors.
  • blossomblossom Registered User Posts: 8,065 Senior Member
    Reality- if you can't pay your bill, you can't go to class.

    Whatever kind of business your dad runs, he is surely not allowing clients or customers to benefit from his products or services when they can't pay him.

    So he will understand reality when you show him- school costs X. I only have Y. My options are to take a year off and work to save enough money for next year, OR to get some help from family.

    He's a businessperson- this he understands. Nobody gets to eat a meal in a restaurant and then walk out when they discover their wallet is empty.
  • gearmomgearmom Registered User Posts: 2,308 Senior Member
    @KDhomie I would not worry about being a fifth year senior. That works in your favor because you'll receive 15 k in federal loans over the next two years.

    Your sorority might also have scholarships.

    Do you have enough money to pay for this semester? You need to make it very clear to your dad that you do not have the money to pay if you don't and that you will be dismissed which is the truth. Even if he is intimidating, there is no way around that. You still won't be able to afford this semester if you leave the sorority. That is not a complete answer. I understand that he had you over a barrel and you are doing an amazing job. More than most kids have to do. Glad that your step mom is on your side. College is different than in the 80s probably when your dad went to school. You can't work your way through it in the same way. Too expensive.
  • VeryapparentVeryapparent Registered User Posts: 247 Junior Member
    Do you have grandparents that could help or aunts and uncles? There also might be some scholarships/loans around for kids who have lost parents to cancer...I'm not sure on this but it is worth some research.
  • noname87noname87 Registered User Posts: 1,111 Senior Member
    Can you live at home and commute? It sounds like you work for your dad during the school year so is where he lives somewhere near school?

    You have what many of us face. Expenses that exceed income. The only solution is cut expenses or increase income or both.

    On the expense side:

    It sounds like you have your own single apartment. Get roommates or live at home if possible.
    Forgo the sorority. Yes there are benefits to belonging but it doesn't fit your budget.
    Look for cheaper books. Look at renting books.
    Do you really need a parking pass at school. Can you park elsewhere and walk or take a bus to school. Can you find an apartment that will make this work?

    On the income side:

    Is working for your dad the best option. Are there other jobs where can minimize the gas expense and related car expenses?
    Can you work weekends? The sorority and community service are both worthwhile activities but unfortunately they are luxuries.
    Can you go to school part time?
    Who is claiming the American Opportunity tax Credit. If you are paying for your tuition and living expenses, then you have a fair argument that should be yours.


    FYI, I doubt that you dad is required by law to keep you on his insurance unless it is part of your benefits as his employee. He is ALLOWED by law to keep you on his policy as long as he is willing to pay for it.

    The reality is that you dad is supporting your education even if it is not enough. He is providing health insurance, allowing the use of the stepmothers car (and insurance?) and providing employment (yes, you are earning every penny and then some). The level of support is lacking but spend some time here and you will see many kids who have parents that basically cut off all support at 18.
  • KDhomieKDhomie Registered User Posts: 15 New Member
    edited September 8
    I tried to look for scholarships for people who have lost a parent but they won't reopen for another month and only apply to the Fall18-Spring19. My dad recently re-opened this business after they got shut down because corporate's CEO was running the company into a lot of debt and instead of firing him they fired the workers. He's focusing on building it back up and is doing a fabulous job and I'm proud to be a part and help him accomplish his dream. Maybe when things start picking up around here he will be more forgiving of my need for financial assistance. We do government contracting and we are "supposed" to get a huge contract soon but you know the military, they say they have money, then make you wait 10 months because they feel like it or someone important goes on vacay.

    I'm hoping that once I get past rush and if I get initiated I'll be able to get some scholarships. I do have the advantage of having all my Gen Ed's under my belt and starting over on my 3rd year with a fresh GPA. I have the opportunity to make as many A's as possible without worrying about my useless history and lit classes, etc. bringing me down or distracting me.

    I think everything will work out in the end. I've somehow always made it work, plus, I'm saving the money I'm making now and trying to make a good reasonable budget for what I can spend. I know this probably doesn't sound great but I just got approved for a credit card from my bank with only 10% interest. My plan is to use small payment things like groceries or gas on the card, keep it around 30% of the total limit and pay off a little more than I owe every month to help increase my credit and control my real money for big expenses like school, textbooks, car services etc. that I would rather not use fake(credit card) money for. My credit is on the low end of average (from applying to apartments and stuff and not having a long enough line of credibility) but he's still never had to co-sign for anything so that's a relief on him.
    And we don't have a lot of family, we don't associate with my mom's side and my dad's mom died when he was 20 (like father like daughter), and my grandpa spends all his money of his new wife's triplet grandkids and crackhead daughter(who recently got stabbed on his front lawn by her crackhead boyfriend). He's got two brothers but they have their own kids to worry about.
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