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What do I do when my parents are rich but won't help pay my tuition??

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Replies to: What do I do when my parents are rich but won't help pay my tuition??

  • KDhomieKDhomie Registered User Posts: 15 New Member
    The point is that the sorority isn't going to be adding to my student debt because I can pay it now, in small amounts over the semesters without detriment to my finances (and I'm still rushing so I'm not paying the fees right now). I'll just go with the plan me and my dad have set up. I'll put money away until December and if I were to give him 250 a month I can save 1125$ before next semester. I just remembered that last year I got a 1k bonus and if that happens again that should help cover it if I get it. But I will look into my school to see what their payment plan is.

  • gearmomgearmom Registered User Posts: 2,340 Senior Member
    @AroundHere I'm usually super cautious but this is my reasoning.

    @KDhomie Is not a robot girl. The sorority can provide a sense of community and family with your sisters and house mom. I think that is something the she could use. Additionally, it sounded like she was in the arts field. Being part of a social network for an arts field (film?) especially in the South where sororities tend to have more importance, could be excellent for networking.

    The finance part. It sounds that has been sorted in a payment plan way. She just received a raise. She'll get $1000 more in federal aid the next two years. There is always seasonal holiday weekend work for extra cash. Or a weekend or night time work with a second job in the summer.

    Her dad is on a financial uptick and insists on her attending college. So I would not absolutely rule out aid from him if push came to shove and she had to leave school for a year as the only other option (and step mom sounds nice) The smartest way for him to help her is through employment. It works out better financially for him. We do that with our kids. And if he lost his parent at the same age, he's probably more hard core about independence. My H lost his dad at the same age and was on his own. I've seen that before. Worst case scenario. She has to leave for a semester. Work all the hours that God gives her and resume. It's tight but not impossible.

    Regarding scholarships, sure she may not receive and can't count on that but it could give her some breathing room. When my S was little he saw a For Kids contest on TV. All you had to do was sign up on-line. I grudgingly did so telling him that no one ever wins these things. So of course he wins it. $500 worth of cool stuff including a PSP that he still plays 15 years later. Sometimes you just have to try but have a Plan A, B and C.
  • BelknapPointBelknapPoint Registered User Posts: 2,886 Senior Member
    I've talked to him about the possibility of becoming dependent (which would require me to go to a court of law) and he said, in the long run, we would lose money.

    "Dependent"? Or do you mean independent?

    In Alabama, once you turn 19, you're no longer a minor and the chance to "go to a court of law" to become independent (called emancipation) has passed.
  • mom2collegekidsmom2collegekids Registered User Posts: 82,545 Senior Member
    edited September 9
    What state are you in and how old are you? Likely you are too old to be declared independent. And, there would need to be a serious reason...like you can prove that your parents are abusive to you.

    "Lose money"? What does your dad mean? What money is he gaining or losing in either situation?

    Frankly I think your dad is bluffing about tuition. He just wants you to earn as much as you can and he'll pay balance. When the bills come, he'll make sure they are paid. If he doesn't then tell him you can't register for spring classes with an outstanding bill.
  • BelknapPointBelknapPoint Registered User Posts: 2,886 Senior Member
    What state are you in and how old are you?

    In post #37 OP identifies Alabama as the state of residence.
  • noname87noname87 Registered User Posts: 1,111 Senior Member
    edited September 9
    The reality is that if you have student loans then every cent that is spent on non-essensal items will increase your debt since that is one less cent available for education. The hard part of life is deciding what is worth that cost.

    Your sorority fees and expenses do reduce what you have available for school expenses. It is also costing you 50% more since you are losing your father's match. Only you can determine if the cost is worth it. There is not anyone here that hasn't made a choice to spend money on something the next person thinks is not worthwhile. What others think doesn't matter, what matters it is what it is worth to you.

    Reading between the lines, your father is teaching you financial responsibility. He is forcing you to analysis what your expenses are and allowing you to determine their value. He is giving you a strong and generous incentive to save. He is rewarding you (year end bonus) for your hard work. He is paying you a fair wage for working in the family business (many families don't). I suspect that in 10 years you will be thanking him. Your friends who are getting everything paid for are in for some brutal lessons when the parental bank stops the full support. You on the other hand are learning how to budget and how to valuate what is worth your money. Yes, it is hard but the work ethic that your father is teaching you is worth more than any education.
  • gearmomgearmom Registered User Posts: 2,340 Senior Member
    edited September 9
    @mom2collegekids I think he's bluffing also. But I wouldn't test him unnecessarily either.

    OP is 2 credits shy of junior status. She could catch up with a summer class or two. She might only be paying for the sorority ($150 a month) for a year and a half or two years. It provides "family" and normalcy in her life.

    If she is in film (might have read that wrong), being sisters with a house of marriage age girls wouldn't be a bad idea if she went into say wedding videography. She is not an engineering major from Mass. Networking could help her.
  • gearmomgearmom Registered User Posts: 2,340 Senior Member
    @noname87 What do you mean that it is costing @KDhomie 50% more?

    Her dad is providing (with raise) a 20k a year job, health care insurance, car and a 1k holiday bonus.

    OP has been living on her own, working full time, attending school. She's probably 20 steps ahead of her peers. If she could work out a summer class or two, She'd graduate with 18k in debt if she could finish on time.

    I don't understand the sorority fixation. It is a 2 k to 3.5k item depending on her remaining time (18 months to 24 months). We get kids on here who take on really large debt or spend their money in crazy ways. I don't know why this girl can only have food, water, work and school in her life. She has no mother. She's on her own and has been successfully on her own for two years. I don't know why we are trying to pile guilt on her for her one extra. She hasn't bought new clothes in two years. She can't have anything in her life? She had sorted her finances with a payment and saving plan.
  • twoinanddonetwoinanddone Registered User Posts: 14,103 Senior Member
    I don't know how much she pays for the sorority. For one of my kids, it's about $700/yr, for the other it is hard to say because she lives in the house, but her bill for room, board, dues is $4000 per semester, which is cheaper than room and board was in the dorm.

    At other schools, especially the big southern sororities (Ole Miss, Bama, UGA) it can be very expensive.
  • gearmomgearmom Registered User Posts: 2,340 Senior Member
    @twoinanddone It's $150 per month dues when she joins. I don't remember paying dues in the summer myself. So what is that... 5 months this year and 9 months next year. That would be around 2k and then you'd probably need some extras. She said she wasn't aim for an expensive 4k a year one.
  • KDhomieKDhomie Registered User Posts: 15 New Member
    Thanks for the support from people saying a sorority gives me normality. That's the major reason I wanted to join. I have only about 8 blood relatives in the world and we are scattered around the country or in Denmark (not counting my stepfamily, they don't count because I don't have a deep connection with them). I am extremely extroverted and not having a social life makes it easy for me to get depressed and I don't believe in taking medication like Adderal for ADD or antidepressants when I could just have support from a like minded group of individuals and feel perfectly fine.

    And for those who are wondering, I'm am getting a degree in Earth System Science concentrating in Geographic Information Systems. The school I go to specializes in Math and Science fields and has great intern opportunities but the school will stamp out any creative or social flame you may have if you let yourself get consumed with work.

    My sister was basically blackballed from a sorority when she was rushing because she met this guy who had cheated on his girlfriend with her (which was the president of the sorority she was looking for a bid at and she was clueless who he was). Fast forward to now she was on heavy antidepressants because she felt so alienated and alone, she just sits in her apartment completely alone and with her cats, grieving by herself because the friends she made didn't care enough about her to stick around when things got tough. I don't want that to be me.

    This is a university where everyone is foreign and most of the professors don't even speak English and it can be really tough to have a safe place. It's great getting the cultural mixer we have but it will always be hard to relate to people who don't care about this country or anything other than getting an education. A sorority is a place I know I fit in and where my sisters will have my back and where I can make meaningful connections with girls for the rest of my life. I don't get a whole lot of feminine influence in my life, I have one good girlfriend, a sister, and a stepmom. That's just simply not enough for a 20-year-old trying to learn how to be a lady and make something of herself. I didn't think I would have to or should even have to justify the reason why I wanted to join but, there it is.

    Also, my Dad seems to support the idea of me being in a sorority now. I'm sure my stepmom probably talked to him about the benefits it will have for me emotionally.
  • noname87noname87 Registered User Posts: 1,111 Senior Member
    @gearmom, My comment was based on if she saved the money that is being spent on the sorority then her father would give he a 50% match.

    Look, I don't think that anybody here is really anti-sorority. The OP original said that she didn't have enough money to pay for school. Based on that posters felt that she couldn't afford the sorority. Now she has arranged a deal with her father that she thinks that she can afford both school and the sorority. If that the case, great, case solved and all is good. Personally, I am truly happy for her.
  • mom2collegekidsmom2collegekids Registered User Posts: 82,545 Senior Member
    edited September 11
    <<<
    his tuition was only 500$, mine is 6,000$.
    <<<

    What school has mostly foreign students and has tuition that is only $12k per year and has a Greek system?
  • MYOS1634MYOS1634 Registered User Posts: 31,520 Senior Member
    UIUC instate????
  • mom2collegekidsmom2collegekids Registered User Posts: 82,545 Senior Member
    It sounds like she lives and goes to school in Alabama. A public would be that cheap but wouldn't be mostly foreight students and profs who can't speak english. Sounds more like a smallish private in Alabama...maybe one with a religious affiliation.
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