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Depression is bringing my grades down

victoria13272victoria13272 Registered User Posts: 1 New Member
I'm currently a sophomore in high school. Previously, I was one of the top students. I'd take AP/Honor classes with no problem. I really enjoyed learning, and although I still somewhat do, being "forced" to learn vocabulary words and electric configuration (or "you'll get bad grades, not go to college, and become jobless!!") is becoming bothersome. Thing is, however, I'm not becoming depressed because of my grades; my grades are low because of my depression.
I'm not using this as an excuse. I've been having depression, but it was never this bad. I've been suicidal for a couple months now, like really bad - to the point where I'd ponder about it everyday. I stopped doing schoolwork and became less motivated because of the mindset that I won't be here anymore after high school.
The only thing that interests me is music, but we all know that I can't get into college with just my cello.I really want to get better, but it's so freaking hard. I'm trying to force myself to do my homework, but it seems to end badly. I *really* want to go to college, study music theory and possibly child development, and teach elementary/middle/high school students how to play instruments and/or conduct. Music's the only thing keeping me together, and introducing that to other kids could be lifesaving as it did with me.
For now, I have B+'s, a couple A's, and a D+ (and I used to have straight A's, well, except for math. I got a D+ and it just went downhill from there). I don't know what to do. I know I need to get help, and my mom is setting me up with a counselor/therapist. In fact, I've scheduled an appointment with my school counselor, but she's been in a car accident and hasn't showed for weeks. Does anyone have any advice??

Replies to: Depression is bringing my grades down

  • happy1happy1 Forum Champion Parents, Forum Champion Admissions Posts: 22,899 Forum Champion
    Talk to your parents. Ask them to help you to find a therapist.
  • mommyrocksmommyrocks Registered User Posts: 1,218 Senior Member
    edited January 11
    My best friend I grew up with teaches middle school students how to play instruments, and she absolutely loves it! That is a fabulous dream you have. While that type of position at a school would require a college degree, there are many opportunities to use your musical talents even if you never go to college. I live in a condo building filled with musicians. A lot of them work other jobs to pay the bills, and then teach music and/or play in bands/ensembles on the side, or work in music stores. I have so many musician friends. Music will always be there for you, and is a great emotional outlet.

    I have another friend who made terrible grades and went to a community college initially where he struggled to pass remedial math. At one point, math finally clicked for him and he wound up becoming a physics major and later getting a PhD in Physics. Now he is a high-level research scientist, and on the side he plays piano and composes orchestra music electronically. He is exploring the connection between physics and music as a hobby.

    Many people encounter bumps along the way in life, where things do not go perfectly and their performance is off. Be kind to yourself, and don't let anyone's threats of a doomed future scare you. Your future is NOT doomed over a few bad grades. It would not even be doomed if you didn't complete high school. There are tons of millionaires out there who did not complete high school. It is always possible to take the GED and still get into college, plus many jobs do not require an academic background. Chef Bobby Flay, a multi-millionaire, got his GED and became a chef instead of finishing high school. Some of my wealthiest friends did not go to college, including a musician friend who works as a financial consultant, and another friend who works as an insurance agent. My former father-in-law also did not go to college, yet he had his own import/export business and later an IT business. You can search online for examples of famous successful people who did not attend college, and of course there are the college dropout billionaires like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg.

    My point is, if you think of the worst case scenario -- flunking out of high school -- that is not the end of the world at all, and does not doom your future, and chances are, you will do far better than the worst case scenario!!

    You are going through a period of "winter" right now, and all you see is cold and darkness, but the next season that follows winter is spring, when it is warm out and the sky is blue and beautiful flowers are everywhere. Keep your faith in a brighter future that will be far greater than you can currently imagine. Do not give up out of fear and despair, as you still have so much to enjoy ahead of you. Think of what is beautiful. Spend time in nature if you can. Cuddle a cute animal. Play your cello and draw pictures or write in a journal. Watch funny shows or read funny posts online. Enjoy the little things like a wonderful meal. Take the pressure off yourself to be perfect, as you are just fine as you are.
  • coolguy40coolguy40 Registered User Posts: 1,816 Senior Member
    I'm not a doctor, but I recommend seeing one. This could be a sign of ADHD. I was in the same boat, but I was diagnosed after I flunked out of high school. I got on medication and got my life back together. I went to a community college and eventually earned a master's degree. I wasn't a Rhodes scholar, but I survived! I'm not qualified to make a diagnosis, but it's something to consider with your parents and doctor.
  • Candyblossom1245Candyblossom1245 Registered User Posts: 125 Junior Member
    I was in the exact same boat last year. I recommend talking to your parents and seeing a therapist and eventually a psychiatrist if needed. Good luck!!
  • LilyNguyenLilyNguyen Registered User Posts: 14 New Member
    talk to your parents, see therapist or psychiatrist
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