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Finding A Girlfriend in College

MichaelJfoxMichaelJfox Registered User Posts: 2 New Member
edited May 2009 in High School Life
I've been pretty shy all my life. I've only had one girlfriend in highschool and that's pretty much by luck :-(
I'm going off to college next year and I don't want to be alone like in high school. I'm going to a campus school so I hope that will make it easier to find girls. The only thing is I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY when I go up and talk to the girl.

What are some opening lines that you use? What are some tips that you can recommend. I've been reading a blog called the college guide to dating blog and it has some good tips and advice. I'm thinking of buying their book.

What opening lines do you use? Is there a difference to dating college girls or high school girls? Please help me out!!

Post edited by MichaelJfox on

Replies to: Finding A Girlfriend in College

  • kwukwu Registered User Posts: 4,759 Senior Member
    Are you serious?

    Playing a dirty game and reciting corny lines won't get you far.

    Just be yourself, if you're interested in someone. And, when you do ask, be bold and assertive.

    Easier said than done, obviously.
  • sAxsKysAxsKy Registered User Posts: 940 Member
    Just be yourself. Why impersonate someone you're not? Just be who you are and the right person will come to you.

    [EDIT] - Wow kwu. Nice timing haha.
  • bmorechilbmorechil User Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 94 Junior Member
    FWIW, I have never had a girlfriend. Why? Because I don't want to. Don't want to sound arrogant here but I'm pretty sure I could get a gf instantly if I wanted to. To me they seem like a huge hassle and will constantly crush you. Don't go that direction in college. BE SINGLE
  • SaerSaer Registered User Posts: 1,494 Senior Member
    As a girl, I have this to say:
    Boys who are dorky, shy, yet at the same time confident will get me every time. My boyfriend is modest, intelligent, and not one for being assertive, but he is self-confident, and that's why I love him!
    Gain some self-confidence. Take some time to figure out why you, personally, are attractive/desirable/awesome and remind yourself of those thigns before you go and talk to a girl. Why shouldn't she like you? I mean, unless you're incredibly scary and rapist-looking, any guy can introduce himself to a girl without getting maced (if that's what you're afraid of).
    Just because you aren't the epitome of what your current school considers "cool" doesn't mean all those college girls will have the same standards.
  • dreakoldreakol Registered User Posts: 195 Junior Member
    ^lol. i have never in my life once thought i would get maced for saying hello to a girl.
  • aristotle1990aristotle1990 Registered User Posts: 558 Member
    Don't bother, it's not worth it, it won't work. Trust me. The girls who *are* worth it are impossible to get, anyway, mostly because they have absolutely no interest in love and will die miserable old maids. And half the time, you'll be treated like a sex offender and will irretrievably ruin friendships. (It always strikes me as interesting how they can get literally whatever they want in this respect just by asking, while the opposite is dangerously far from true.)

    Wait until you're 40 to even bother. By that time, it'll be the girls crawling over you, not the reverse. Unfortunately, it doesn't work as it does in Hollywood, as much as we would like it to. (Well, for some people it might, but probably not for you if you're asking these questions here.)
  • sAxsKysAxsKy Registered User Posts: 940 Member
    ^ Wish I could see how Hollywood girls are like...maybe I will if I still keep my determination ;)

    OP, don't listen to these guys. It's just them trying to fit the CC norm. Do what you want. No one can tell you what to do other than yourself. If you want to have a balance somewhere in your life then go get down on that you know what. If you want to not have an "experience" no matter how mild or extreme it may be, then just sit home and act as if it's Superbad every day.

    The choice is yours.
  • AeroEngineer3141AeroEngineer3141 Registered User Posts: 3,607 Senior Member
    Well, it's always easier to meet new people through your friends. That way, you have a safety net to fall back on, and you won't be pressured into keeping up a one-to-one conversation.
  • PoseurPoseur Registered User Posts: 3,331 Senior Member
    lotsa cynics here

    i'd say try to hang out with girls as friends; relationships are usually better if you get to know someone first as opposed to just asking them out on awkward dates when you barely know them

    but different strokes for different folks
  • tomjonesisthemantomjonesistheman Registered User Posts: 2,978 Senior Member
    dont do it
    just go to parties and hook up
  • hopeful_gtbhopeful_gtb Registered User Posts: 585 Member
    hmmm..you want to buy a BOOK so you can learn how to TALK to girls. not to be mean, but isn't that a bit desperate. chill, just talk to us like we're people. if you're meant to be in a relationship(and apparently everyone MUST be in a relationship) then you will. just don't go and buy a book on how to talk. get out there and do some talking. and smooching :) haha. jk. anyway. its not like we're aliens, we're just from venus. :D

    so what i'm saying is don't worry. you're probably panicking cause of some hideous social pressure that says if you haven't been with someone in X amount of time then you're destined to be a "cat lady". you won't. college is supposed to be fun. and meeting people is supposed to be eye-opening, not a chore.
  • chronicfuture12chronicfuture12 - Posts: 1,538 Senior Member
    Agreed with Poseur, slowly easing in is the best way to find a girlfriend (and have sex). What you want to do is find some way to get her number in a non-obvious manner (or even AIM screen name can work!), such as for a project, homework, or something else. Then, you start texting/IMing them more and more often, which makes you more comfortable, and talking with them in person will be that much easier and more comfortable when you want to ask them out!
  • ThisCouldBeHeavnThisCouldBeHeavn - Posts: 16,060 Senior Member
    There are girls in college? I can't tell you how much more excited I am now.
  • MichaelJfoxMichaelJfox Registered User Posts: 2 New Member
    I don't think there is anything wrong with studying to make myself better. We aren't born learning to read and write, does that mean we shouldn't study it? It's really ignorant to not want to improve yourself.

    Thanks for all the positive tips. I agree with getting to know a girl first.

    I thought this was interesting, it's from the blog I was telling you about. It's about the mistakes guys make. I totally did this with my EX and every girl that I've tried to make my girlfriend.:

    "Mistake 3: Being too submissive
    CONTROL – it’s a loaded word. Girls want a guy that is in control of himself, his future, his situation, and her. Girls don’t want to be able to controlyou. “The last thing that I want is a guy that I can control. A guy that I can control doesn’t have a chance with me.” This is one of the most common statements that I hear. The key to attracting a good-looking girl is to be different than the other 99% of guys. If you are the same as everyone else, why would she want you? She wants a guy that challenges her and doesn’t show too much interest. Guys often think, “If we don’t do what she wants, then she wont like me!” In reality, doing what she wants shows her that you are not boyfriend material – you are just like everyone else."

    What do you guys think? Right/Wrong
  • RFK68RFK68 Registered User Posts: 271 Junior Member
    I think that's true to an extent, though it does make girls sound creepy and dominant. I broke up with my last boyfriend in part because I felt like he made me call all the shots and did whatever I wanted, which seemed sort of sad and boring to me. That's not to say that girls want guys who are controlling, but having some confidence or authority is a plus.
This discussion has been closed.