I apologize for the really long post, but I need some help calming down.
I’m homeschooled and to be honest with you, I’ve gotten behind on my academics. I went through a really dark time last year and I’m still trying to recover from it. My family and I have decided to extend my high school career by an extra year. Now, I’ll be a junior in the fall instead of a senior. Math is a difficult subject for me. If I understand it, I enjoy it. However, if I don’t get a concept right away, I lose all motivation to finish the work. I’m trying to work on this, but it’s still so hard for me. This worries me greatly since I’m planning for a STEM major and my math level so far only goes up to Algebra I. I need to finish with at least Calculus I by the end of my senior year, so I’m planning to take the rest of the summer to study Geometry. Six months ago, I thought that I wanted to be a mechanical engineer, so I found an engineering camp hosted by my local university, but the problem was that it was very selective. The application was sent in before I had decided to take an extra year, so my graduation year is wrong. The application also asked for my extracurricular activities in high school. I listed yoga, church youth group, piano, and sculpting. This is where I start to feel queasy. I haven’t been consistent with my extracurriculars. I’ve only done yoga a few times throughout the year, but I plan to start practicing again tomorrow. I quit my church youth group two years ago and I haven’t touched my piano or sculpted anything in months. When I submitted the application, I thought I would get back into all of it, but I just haven’t had the motivation to do it. I didn’t intend to lie at all, but I feel so guilty about this. If I tell the university, I probably wouldn’t get my money back and it would ruin my admission chances if so ever decided to apply there. I did get accepted and everyone keeps congratulating me on making it, but I feel guilty. It’s just a one-week camp, should I let it go?
I’m sorry for the long post, but I feel terrible.