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Could Somebody Score My ESL Practice Essay, Please?

valto10valto10 0 replies1 threadsRegistered User New Member
Passage A woman recently received an inheritance of $25 million from an unknown, distant relative. She cannot decide what to do: spend it, save it, or give most of it away. Assignment If you suddenly received a large sum of money, what would you do with it?Receiving a large sum of money would be a grateful surprise for anybody including me. Even though many people might spend the money really fast, I would spend carefully every cent in order to take advance of it. As a matter of fact, I would designate the money for my studies, family, and future investments and emergencies.
In the first place, I would spend part of the money in my studies. Nowadays, this is one of the most important goals in my life, so if I have the opportunity to pay my college expenses from this source, I would not doubt about it. Also, because I am an international student, I will need some money to help with my living expenses, too. For instance, my rent, bills, and daily food. This would help a lot to my parents due to the amount of money I have to pay in The United States is almost third times of what we produce in Peru, our home country. The fact of having different currency affects a lot our economy. Thus, most of the time I try to save as much money as I can. Therefore, if I would receive a large sum of money, this would not only affect my carrier protection, but also my lifestyle because I would stop worrying about my economy for a while. Certainly, save some of the money to address my studies and my living expenses would be the first on the list.
Second, I would spend a great part of the money in my family needs. Right now, they are going through a difficult financial situation, so I would be happy to help them if I had the opportunity to do it. For example, my father was stolen by an architect while he was investing in my grandmother's house. His dream was to complete the hotel she began many times ago. Unfortunately, He did not have good luck with his architect, and the building lot was never completed in our home country, Peru. Then, if I perhaps had the access to a large amount of money, I would give him what he needs to finish the building. Besides that, I would like to buy for my parents a car as gift because almost 12 years ago, they have not been able to renew their car. In fact, I am sure this money would help them a lot with their financial problems in Peru.
Third, I would save up some money for future emergencies and investments. Every day, I am afraid that any issue may come in our family life. Hence, If I would have the opportunity, I would save enough for any type of situations like a disease, natural disaster, or even a financial depression. One never knows what can happen in a couple of months or even years. Also, I would like to save some of the money to a future investment. It may be familiar or own business, but I have the hope one day I would have money available to invest in properties, franchises, or even in the market when the time comes. Definitely, saving up a little would have wonderful outcomes in a near future.
As we clearly see, when a person receives a large sum of money, it is really difficult to decide what to do with it. However, if that would be my case, I would spend it thoughtfully in specific things such as my college courses, family, and future plans. It may be difficult at the beginning, but with some time I would effectively spend and save the money as I want. Because the moment a person has an opportunity like this, one should not give it away.
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Replies to: Could Somebody Score My ESL Practice Essay, Please?

  • aunt beaaunt bea 9833 replies62 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited August 13
    What do you need evaluated?
    Grammar? Yes, there are errors.
    Content? Yes, there are errors.
    Did you proofread?
    We are not ESL teachers so we don’t know what the requirements would be. Spelling is okay but the whole passage is confusing:
    For example, my father was stolen by an architect while he was investing in my grandmother's house.
    . This tells the reader that your father was abducted/kidnapped. Is this what you meant to describe?
    His dream was to complete the hotel she began many times ago. Unfortunately, He did not have good luck with his architect, and the building lot was never completed in our home country, Peru.
    . Reread this passage.
    Don’t use google translate to directly translate from one language to another since it does not work well as indicated by a number of your sentences.
    edited August 13
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