right arrow
Examples: Monday, today, last week, Mar 26, 3/26/04
GUEST STUDENT OF THE WEEK: Rohan is a freshman at Dartmouth (and loves it) having gotten in ED for the Class of 2023. He's here to debunk myths regarding admissions and student life at his school. ASK HIM ANYTHING!
Make sure to check out our May Checklists for HS Juniors and HS Seniors. Consult these quick resources to get you started on the process this month.
As we work to adjust to the current reality, make sure to check out these dedicated COVID-19 resources: our directory of virtual campus tours, our directory of extended deadlines, as well as the list of schools going test optional this fall.

Anyone else feeling depressed?

Pl1277Pl1277 45 replies4 threads Junior Member
Im trying to be strong for my D....but I keep thinking of the loss. I keep reminding myself that there is greater loss that people are experiencing , but it doesn't negate the loss my D has experienced. Much of it is music based...All state, State Music Festival, School Theatre Production, Honors Recital, 3 Summer Programs, School Spring Concert , Voice Lessons, Scholarships, Classical Singer Live Judging, Jr Prom....and I could go on.... it's the uncertainty that scares me. I haven't admitted that to anyone...and esp not my D. She seems "ok" right now. It's just all such a let down. I've talked to her about pursuing "a non essential" career. She hasn't even been able to take or schedule SAT testing. She was supposed to take them in March and again in May and everything has been canceled. I'm ok with being a recluse, but there's so much loss for these kids.... it makes me sad. Im pouting here, so I don't do it at home. :(. Anyone else with me?
I've been so happy reading all the acceptances. It has really brightened my days, I'm so happy for ALL of you and your kids!!!
47 replies
· Reply · Share
«13

Replies to: Anyone else feeling depressed?

  • cellistamadrecellistamadre 34 replies0 threads Junior Member
    This is terrible, for everyone. Of course you feel this, it’s rather inhuman not to. That’s what I tell my D, too, and I try to hear it myself. It’s horrifically hard, but they’re all going to pull through to the other side, with a stronger bond with the others traveling the road with them, and one heck of a story to tell.
    · Reply · Share
  • EmpireappleEmpireapple 2216 replies28 threads Senior Member
    I know. I feel the worse for the kids and the senior citizens.

    First, the kids because they are missing so many once in a lifetimes that they can't get back. Secondly for the elders because they are now isolated. I find that to be especially cruel. I can not even hug my own 87 year old mother or sit and share a meal with her.

    I've begun to dream of all the things we can do to celebrate when this is over.
    · Reply · Share
  • MusicaspirantMusicaspirant 64 replies2 threads Junior Member
    edited April 4
    As I am watching the professional gigs being cancelled for my musician offspring, contracts voided by "acts of God" cancellation clauses, hiring at community music schools on hold because who knows who will be able to pay for lessons in the coming months and the failure of major venues such as the Kennedy Center and Met Opera to continue to pay musician salaries through this crisis, I have little hope for this "building resilience and perspective" and being helpful "in the future" for several in my family.

    Sorry, but that's the reality in my neck of the woods.
    edited April 4
    · Reply · Share
  • bgbg4usbgbg4us 1580 replies46 threads Senior Member
    OP; I too have felt so sad and even teary eyed about the things my HS kids are missing out on. I tried to make S20 feel better by saying something stupid like "you'll save money and not have to worry about your group and who to ask for a prom date" and gave a little laugh. He just glared at me, and said it really isn't funny. Because he's right.

    so while I feel sad about missing sports season, honors, graduation ceremonies, and in general public recognition for all seniors and teachers; I feel SCARED for those losing jobs and our economy. That fear is taking over my sadness. It's a horrible time; and to escalate it, we can't get together in groups to console or commiserate .

    no right or wrong on anyone's feelings. I'm with you feeling sad; I'm scared; and I worry about the elderly.

    (and with the elderly - We are making cards and sending some out with our address to see if any would like to pen-pal. Not sure what else to do)
    · Reply · Share
  • havenoideahavenoidea 347 replies17 threads Member
    @PL1277 Yes, I’ve felt depressed about lost opportunities for our twins21 (one whose spring was supposed to be filled with music events as well and who hasn’t been able to take the ACT, and both whose summer programs have already been cancelled) and college sophomore (whose internship evaporated). I think these are normal feelings for a parent! I know there’s more going on in the world that’s more important than everything they’re loosing, but they’re still our kids whom we love SO much.

    I’m an introvert, so all this staying at home doesn’t really bother me. What I’ve found has helped me to stop ruminating about them is going on long walks listening to good podcasts (I like the Moth and the Gist), doing yoga, and finding projects around the house to keep me busy. Try to find things to keep your mind busy with something else. And remember, kids are resilient, and your D will be fine! Everyone their age is going through this: it’s just a temporary thing. And hopefully, they’ll get to go to prom and do many more fun things next year!🥰
    · Reply · Share
  • PrdMomto1PrdMomto1 488 replies7 threads Member
    I find myself getting emotional at times over the strangest things. I have a college freshman who is being a trooper most of the time but is incredibly disappointed by all she is missing out on right now and as more and more gets cancelled I can see her getting more frustrated and depressed. I think she's been holding on mostly by looking forward at things in the future she's been excited about but as those are getting cancelled, it's getting harder for her to stay positive. She's really starting to worry about next fall and for once I just don't know what to tell her. It doesn't help she really hasn't been out of our house in 2 weeks except for walks and runs in our neighborhood. She's trying to stay connected to school friends via zoom but says it's just not the same and since no one is doing anything they are running out of things to talk about. I am usually a "look on the bright side" sort of person but it's becoming hard to maintain the attitude right now. I have moments of being very sad and down but try to hide it from her. We talk about it sometimes but I don't want to add to her stress.

    I know the issues she/we are dealing with now are minor compared to others but the losses are still sad.
    · Reply · Share
  • compmomcompmom 11549 replies81 threads Senior Member
    edited April 4
    Bottom line is survival. I am not depressed about anything other than the possibility that a couple of my loved ones might not survive this.




    edited April 4
    · Reply · Share
  • coloraturagirlcoloraturagirl 135 replies1 threads Junior Member
    edited April 4
    @bridgenail you and I are the same type....lol. Watching my four lament their losses of classes, friends, seeing boyfriend (oldest of mine), and just battling malaise has made me be more the protector than ever. My D is happy over her acceptances but worried about things straightening out in time for her freshman year. She feels the loss of her last shows at school, yearbook signings, and ceremonies. I am also “on alert” constantly and looking to play offense on any hurdles that arise. I have a sophomore in high school and have signed her up for some AP summer classes to make up for the schedule gone awry this spring. I want her challenged but also for her transcript to stand out when she has to apply to college.

    Battling the pandemic is another story: We’re well stocked on supplies for now but I am always hunting for elusive delivery services and placing orders ahead of time before anything runs out altogether. Survival is always on my mind. No one expected this to go on indefinitely and how do we really know? Beaches, trails, and parks here are closed. All we can do is walk the dog.

    In terms of academics- Many schools are becoming test optional, either permanently or for this fall only to ease the burden; this means kids can focus more on their grades and application essays. I say put the kids to work to get some extra learning in through online courses or independent study. Juniors can start writing all of those pesky supplements and make spreadsheets for applications. Keep their eyes on the prize, I say. My eighth grader is doing tons of creative writing and learning Swedish of all things on Duolingo!

    @compmom I hear you; my mother is in her 8os and stuck at home. She feels the loss of her social life and is battling depression too. I have the kids FaceTime her because here in CA we are not allowed to be out unless it’s for food, health care or essential work. The potential loss of loved ones is a frightening reality, especially for those who work in public health. Theirs is a great sacrifice indeed right now.

    OP- Your worries are normal and reaching out to others is important. Hopefully you get relief from expressing yourself and seeing that others feel the same.

    On a positive note, I’m reveling in the family time we have. There are movie nights and game nights. My kids are discovering old hobbies and reminiscing over things from the past. There’s lots of baking going on too which makes the house smell comforting. I leave windows open and will encourage my D to play piano and sing for the neighborhood. Keeping connected to others is key to reduce isolation. I’m thankful for my large family, for the technology that keeps us busy and allows us to communicate, and for the modern comforts of delivery and virtual meetings. It could be so much worse. Stay strong and healthy everyone!
    edited April 4
    · Reply · Share
  • Groundwork2022Groundwork2022 3256 replies74 threads Senior Member
    Having reached the depression stage, you're all ahead of me. I'm still in the anger phase. Not rage, just ticked off and a little disappointed (so maybe there is hope I will be moving on with it soon).

    Sometimes it doesn't all make sense. I'm PO'ed at the neighbors pointing fingers on the neighborhood bulletin boards, the busybodies calling out the five kids playing basketball (which was before 40+ states had "stay at home" orders), and publicly shaming anyone else they think isn't responding correctly to the crisis (because who elected you the covid cops?). But I am also ticked off at those kids who were playing basketball and the five ladies I still see still walking their dogs together every day, and the group of a dozen girls playing soccer at the high school earlier this week (who all had on the same shirts, so they were clearly a team vs. a spontaneous game). They probably think they're doing their best (or doing their part), but they're clearly not. I hate how thinking that way makes me no better than the busybodies.

    I won't go into the rest, but to be brief, it involves politicians at all levels doing more finger pointing than actual cooperating, hospital administrators, who KNEW this was a possibility at some point (when vs if) didn't think to stock up on two months worth of worst-case-scenario PPE equipment in good times to protect their staff in the bad times. Even the fact that the mens barber shop is open but every woman's salon in town is closed (not that anyone should be going to either place right now).

    I am angry we have to live in fear (this is probably the hardest for me, as my instinct is the face the fear not hide from it). I am angry that we had to tank our economy, even if we didn't really have a choice. I am angry we have to give up our right to congregate, to worship with our community, and some folks (nurses speaking out on lack of PPE, primarily) their freedom of speech.

    And yes my DD also had to give up a lot of the special year-end activities that would have represented the culmination of months of work. Thankfully she is handling it very graciously.

    I'm feeling like "We're all in this together" is a hollow, cringeworthy, largely untrue sentiment. I am, however, truly warmed by those doing what they can, be it sewing masks or donating to food banks, taking meals to the elderly, fostering shelter animals, placing stuffies in front windows, etc. etc. I just see these acts as good people trying to be the best version of themselves, trying to do the right thing despite others. I think at the end of the day, that is the best we CAN do.

    Is there even a bargaining stage to this? Or does the depression stage come next? DD and I pray Psalm 91 every day (we actually have for years). Is that bargaining?

    · Reply · Share
  • coloraturagirlcoloraturagirl 135 replies1 threads Junior Member
    @compmom I can’t imagine the worry. My D is going to be 3000 miles away too most likely; I have mixed feelings about it. Sorry for what you’re going through.
    · Reply · Share
  • Pl1277Pl1277 45 replies4 threads Junior Member
    @compmom that is very scary and a real concern. That's why I feel foolish at times to even be concerned or sad about losses that are trivial in comparison.

    My dad is immunosuppressed and my husband works in the medical field, one on one with people everyday. I'm scared that, although, I havent left the house, he could bring it home! Very uncertain times.
    · Reply · Share
  • compmomcompmom 11549 replies81 threads Senior Member
    edited April 5
    No emotions are trivial! But fear prevails over all others, I think.

    @Pl1277 you have your own set of scary conditions.
    edited April 5
    · Reply · Share
  • goldenmoomgoldenmoom 20 replies0 threads Junior Member
    It's pity that My D will be missing the prom, last Spring Show and graduation.
    And if she goes to out of state school, we would be worry about her even college started later. May be she should stay in state where we can reach by driving...
    At this time, everything is okay as long as all kids are safe and healthy.
    · Reply · Share
  • MomOfSingersMomOfSingers 134 replies10 threads Junior Member
    Article on current music students (high school and college) and how they are handling all of "this":

    https://news.yahoo.com/performances-canceled-musicians-way-lift-165850762.html
    · Reply · Share
Sign In or Register to comment.

Recent Activity