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How to show my son he's in the wrong major?

mommy1964mommy1964 Registered User Posts: 12 New Member
edited November 2013 in Other College Majors
I am a very concerned mother who doesn't want to spend money on a worthless college career. I know that sounds blunt, and I know I may be attacked by other college parents, but let's keep it honest! I have never been the type of mother that told my children that they can go to college for ANYTHING and be successful no matter what, because that is simply false! My eldest son isn't too good in math, and he is searching for majors outside of math,science,and engineering... How do I show him that that is a big mistake? Engineering is booming right now and forever, and majors without math and science are pretty much fake and worthless, especially in the economy today. I am refusing to help him financially until he chooses a major that will make him successful in the real world.

Am I being too harsh on him? I love my son, but I don't want him to spend years on something that isn't worth anything valuable. It's blunt the world we live in has changed.
Post edited by mommy1964 on

Replies to: How to show my son he's in the wrong major?

  • mommy1964mommy1964 Registered User Posts: 12 New Member
    The real question here is, how can I convince him that college without a math based major like engineering or science/medical major isn't going to be beneficial or lucrartive? I am a lurker on these forums and I read College Confidential daily. I love the HONEST opinions on here, and I felt this was the best place for advice. Thanks in advance. Please no ignorant or meanspirited responses from defensive people...
  • tomofbostontomofboston Registered User Posts: 2,373 Senior Member
    ...majors without math and science are pretty much fake and worthless,

    That is a whopping generalization and shows that YOU are the one in need of a reality check.

    If you son isn't very good in math, he will not likely be admitted to a decent school for a STEM program.
  • surfcitysurfcity Registered User Posts: 1,934 Senior Member
    Oh please, are you a ****?

    No one in their 40s or 50s today studied how to market on the internet, yet many are doing just that. The value of a liberal arts education is very great. Learning how to learn and communicate sets you up for anything you want to do.

    Plus the obvious - why would you want to set your son up to study something he doesn't do well in and doesn't enjoy? Sounds like a recipe for unhappiness to me.
  • Mango15Mango15 Registered User Posts: 815 Member
    Your statement that Majors without science and engineering seem fake is true in some aspects, but overall, it is false. I can tell that you pursued some science/engineering studies or wanted to, because you think like a scientist. We see the world in a different way, so we tend to push our kids in that direction. It is so sad how many scientist patents I know that force their kids to pursue science. You have to realize that even if that makes you happy, it may not make him happy.

    You may not realize it, but you are putting do much pressure on your son and stressing him out. You may think you know what is best for him, but you are not him. He is in college, he has grown up now and this is his responsibility. He only has one life so he should be able to chose which career path he wants to pursue, NOT you. He will be working long hours in a job he may hate because you forced him into it, NOT you.

    Think if your parents sent you to college and said "we will not be paying for your education unless you pursue a major in fashion". They strongly believe they are right about your future and force you into a corner of whether you should drop out of college or pursue a career you despise.

    Please, stop. I know you think you know what is best, but you need to back off. They wouldn't offer other majors if there wasn't significance of them in our society. You seem to be very close-minded, you remind me of my mother. Open your mind to what appealse to him and let him make his own decisions with having to endure hardships because you decided to cut him off.
  • Mango15Mango15 Registered User Posts: 815 Member
    No point in writing here really. We cant change your personality nor beliefs. I just feel bad for your son.
  • francisvdahlmannfrancisvdahlmann Registered User Posts: 373 Member
    Look, your post is the one that is ignorant, mean-spirited, and defensive, and until you realize that, no one on this forum is going to want to help you. Go watch Dead Poets Society and then tell me what you think of forcing your son into a career he doesn't want.
  • SadFoolSadFool Registered User Posts: 73 Junior Member
    Maybe she hates math and science too, but she feels that she has not been able to live a "successful" lifestyle with her major. Maybe she has been treated as a second-class citizen for not being a science and math major. Perhaps, she sees other children and families with a math and science major living more "successfully" than her. We need to show her examples of people with successful non-math and non-science majors that are employed right now out of college.
  • lexieamlexieam Registered User Posts: 1,124 Senior Member
    I know you want your son to be successful (every parent does), but you also want him to be happy in his field. If your son wants to major in English, he'll need to go to grad school or teaching school, if he wants to major in Economics/Business he can make a lot of money in the corporate world, or if he wants to major in American Studies he can go to law school. The engineering/med school path isn't for everyone (and it seems like it isn't for your son) and if you want your son to be happy, you'll let him find his own way
  • Mango15Mango15 Registered User Posts: 815 Member
    My mother is a single parent who raised 3 kids, pursued a bussiness degree and now owns 3 gas stations in Miami and makes more money than doctors.

    I think that's dam successful. It's not which career you chose, it's what you do with the opportunities in your selected career.
  • EbbetwdEbbetwd Registered User Posts: 29 New Member
    While the question dismays me, the means-spirited responses dismay me more.
    That said, mommy1964, please remember that there are more ways to be successful than income. The level of your concern tells me that you love and care for your child's future. That future will be long and hard on him if his heart is not in whatever studies or career you may force him into by withholding financial support. "They" say that if you find your passion, the money will follow. Even if he gets into a science or math-based major and his heart isn't into it, his performance will be lackluster, and so will his career. It's a non-starter, really; you yourself said that he isn't good at math. Why would you want to throw your money away on a major he is neither suited for nor interested? I hope, for your sake, his sake, and your relationship's sake, that you can get past this. Good luck.
  • mommy1964mommy1964 Registered User Posts: 12 New Member
    I am going to try and reply to everyone with one post.

    I am not this evil parent that wants to force my son into unhappiness. I want him to be successful in the future, and what may seem like happiness to him now may not be good enough for the future. I am trying to be as realistic as possible. Liberal Arts isn't bad at all, but I think those should be learned and used as facts and hobbies and not degrees. One of the posters hit the nail on the head. I actually work in Pharmacy by the way. I just want to give my son tough love.
  • mommy1964mommy1964 Registered User Posts: 12 New Member
    I am sorry to anyone I offended. I realize that I was wrong for starting a thread this way, I am just frustrated. It hurts me to hold financial support. I don't want to do this! I want to support him, but I want him to be successful as well. I understand income isn't everything, but it is very damn important. I am just realizing that in this economy, and in this day in age college isn't about just learning anymore! College is an expensive investment, and why waste time if it won't pay off in the long run? I understand that math is hard for my son, but that is what tutoring is for. I didn't raise a failure that ran away from challenges.
  • mommy1964mommy1964 Registered User Posts: 12 New Member
    Realistically speaking... In today's world what majors besides math,science,or medical and engineering based majors, are beneficial? I don't mean with happiness. I mean beneficial with a career. A career that pays a decent amount of money. There really isn't any... The only ones I can think of are trades like plumbing and electrician. If you aren't in a math or science based major then the sad truth is that you don't belong in college. I'm sorry but I am in NO way,shape,or form RICH, and I can not spend tons of money on my child for NOTHING other that "finding himself"... Can you truly blame me? Be honest. Don't attack me, just be truthful.
  • elnamoelnamo Registered User Posts: 680 Member
    what about law?
  • fauxmavenfauxmaven Registered User Posts: 1,786 Senior Member
    I am a 58 year old mother of 4 .My kids are 19 -31 . I understand some of how you are feeling .I have a D at Harvard who has everything it would take to go to Medical School - the whole STEM package ,but she doesn't want to go in this direction .Instead ,she has declared Earth and Planetary Sciences as her major . Recently she moved out of her House .(AT Harvard ) 89% of undergraduates live at Harvard ,not off campus . Inside , I am frustrated about her choices . I don't say anything ,BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT SHE WANTS . You need to have a discussion with your son about what he wants . Maybe you shouldn't pay for college for him ,because it sounds like you are really bitter about his choices .
This discussion has been closed.