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Parents caring for the parent support thread

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Replies to: Parents caring for the parent support thread

  • MomofJandLMomofJandL Registered User Posts: 1,170 Senior Member
    esobay, I remember your struggles with this (person), and I am sorry that he is still at it. You worked so hard to take care of your mother, and he worked so hard to take advantage of her.

    In reality, I expect that family members taking advantage of failing seniors greatly outnumber strangers taking advantage. We have some things in our family that we just have to live with knowing, because they can't be undone. But an outsider trying to cheat your mother, even after her death, is such a low blow.
  • SOSConcernSOSConcern Registered User Posts: 3,446 Senior Member
    Sorry that slimeball has resurfaced @esobay . Hope damage control is not too time consuming or emotionally draining. What about getting the sheriff involved - still the same one?
  • GTalumGTalum Registered User Posts: 2,697 Senior Member
    I remember unhandy @esobay Hope what you suspect doesn't happen.

    @MomofJandL What a chilling article. As the person who recently made some very hard decisions about my parents, it was a difficult read. I am always second guessing myself and kept on seeing myself as the evil guardian. So glad I already have DPOAs in place for even myself.
  • esobayesobay Registered User Posts: 1,206 Senior Member
    I don't yet have proof it was unhandy, but I can't imagine who else would do it. Anyone with some legal standing would have communicated with me or the renter or at least left a notice!! I did call the sheriff to ask for extra patrols and told the renter to get some cameras up right away. He needs to protect his construction tools. It is a new sheriff, but I don't know that it matters.
    Her service is Oct 14 and I asked for a lot of extra patrols that day given that I have heard repeatedly about people reading obituaries and going to rob the grieving house.

    @GTalum, I think it is the same feeling as being a parent, if you worry about being a bad parent.... you probably aren't! I heard that so many times, 25 years ago.
  • travelnuttravelnut Registered User Posts: 1,594 Senior Member
    @MomofJandL - thank you for sharing. That article is profound; such an organized effort, under the cover of "the law." I was ignorant that the scale of these scams could be so large, with limited legal safeguards.

    @esobay. Sorry for your loss. The added layer of unhandy at such times is too much- good that you were pro-active once you learned of his invasion.

  • ManhattanBoroManhattanBoro Registered User, - Posts: 140 Junior Member
    edited October 7
    Has anyone used a security camera to remotely monitor one's parent(s). Something like a baby monitor. I'm concerned about my mother's safety, e.g. emergency situations, like risk of falling, particularly at night.

    For those of you have done this. Any recommendations? Any issues to be aware of?

    Thank you in advance
  • busyparentbusyparent Registered User Posts: 702 Member
    What to do with old National Geographic's and encyclopedias?
  • dragonmomdragonmom Registered User Posts: 5,642 Senior Member
    @busyparent , recycle. If your parent objects, claim that you are taking them to a school/library and drive them straight to the recycling point. I volunteer at our local library and teach in an elementary school. Nobody wants them.
    So I still have file boxes of old issues from the 80's and 90's to haul to the recycle bin myself, so I understand!
  • busyparentbusyparent Registered User Posts: 702 Member
    Thanks @dragonmom. My sis in law thinks hospital weighting rooms are going to want them. I work in a hospital and don't think I have ever seen one there!
  • rhandcorhandco Registered User Posts: 4,281 Senior Member
    My father had two outside cameras since he had a breakin (nothing stolen, just his hoard moved around LOL).

    We had a camera installed inside his house. We probably would have put in a second inside camera if someone was moving in soon.

    It was pointing at the base of the stairs so that when he was living alone, if he fell down the stairs we'd see him (hopefully his LifeAlert would have gone off too, but then I could look to see if it was the stairs). They were the only stairs in his house.

    This state actually has a program to loan them out:
    http://nj.gov/oag/newsreleases17/pr20170509a.html

    As for libraries and so on not wanting magazines or books, it really depends on the library and the books. I teach at a college, and they do want old textbooks etc. because they do book drives to send books to countries with less resources than the US. Like my dad always said, calculus hasn't changed much in 50 years...
  • lookingforwardlookingforward Registered User Posts: 24,879 Senior Member
    I tossed all my mother's old NG. DH's rule of thumb: if the content can be obtained elsewhere, let your copy go. At one point, when my grandmother lived with us and we were all moving, I discovered she had two boxes of old Time magazines in our attic, dating way, way back. Fascinating, hated to part with them, but no value. (She was not a hoarder, no idea why she kept those, I hadn't known abut them in her old house.)

    I do agree about some text books going to needy countries, if you know of such a drive. Yes, especially math.
  • GTalumGTalum Registered User Posts: 2,697 Senior Member
    My general rule of thumb: If Goodwill doesn't want them, recycle or trash. I've moved my parent's twice and getting rid of stuff in whatever way you can is easier for both you and the parent.
  • NerdMom88NerdMom88 Registered User Posts: 775 Member
    Encyclopedias especially are not wanted by anyone, UNLESS you can find a crafter that will re-work them! Ask around...
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