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So...who is coming over for the holidays?

ellebudellebud Registered User Posts: 2,328 Senior Member
edited November 2012 in Parent Cafe
There are so many holidays coming up. And most of us know that involves families. Some of us have dysfunctional families. (Not us...no how)

Thanksgiving: The invites are coming out....a few of daughters' friends, my son's girlfriend and her family (divorced parents), my uncle, a few others AND I am not supposed to know that mil wanted us at their house. Mr. Ellebud said we have 15 already. So...do they want to come here? Son's girlfriend and her family are quite religious..Jewish that is..

SWAT team be on the ready.......

So...who's entertaining for the holidays?
Post edited by ellebud on

Replies to: So...who is coming over for the holidays?

  • Emaheevul07Emaheevul07 Registered User Posts: 5,966 Senior Member
    We are spending all of the holidays at my parents this year, for various reasons.

    However, I am seriously considering inviting BF's mom, dad, brother, and brother's GF to spend a weekend with us sometime around the holidays to make up for not actually seeing them on the real holidays, and to let them see the new house. Haven't decided whether or not that would be crazy yet. I've never cooked for more than two people at a time but I would really like to have them over and cook a turkey or something.... we'll see. I also only have one guest room and mom and dad aren't even together, so I'd have to see if we can manage with air mattresses in the living room and den to keep everybody separate. Not sure if that's hospitable enough or not, but I'm not sure I could arrange three separate weekends... They are JUST far enough that I am sure they won't want to drive home same day, and JUST close enough that I am sure they won't want to stay in a hotel either, so it's a tough spot.

    I've never had an overnight guest before or been one, and not even my parents have ever entertained overnight guests. So this will be quite the undertaking if we do it. I'll probably tear all my hair out.
  • musicamusicamusicamusica Registered User Posts: 6,468 Senior Member
    The whole fam-damnily,D, cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles and a couple of sopranos singing with LA Opera and far away from home. About 15 all together.
  • romanigypsyeyesromanigypsyeyes Registered User Posts: 32,520 Senior Member
    Dysfunctional, spread out family here. My mom's family is too far away to come for holidays and my dad's family doesn't really speak to each other. Friends are our real family :)
    Thanksgiving: going to spend the long weekend with my dad's best friend and his family in Ohio, same as we have for the last five years or so.
    Christmas: at my house with parents, boyfriend, uncle, and sister maybe, if she decides not to flake. We always have a stream of people going in and out on Christmas. My dad often invites everyone in his basketball league (6-18 year olds) and many take him up on the offer as they wouldn't otherwise have anywhere special to go.

    Last year I worked at my domestic violence shelter on Christmas. Few things are more humbling. Makes most family problems seem so small (I emphasize most)
  • boysx3boysx3 Registered User Posts: 5,164 Senior Member
    We always go to Chicago for Thanksgiving....every year beginning in 1989.

    We end up running around like chickens with our heads cut off, seeing my sister and her family, and my H's sister, and her family, and all of our BFFs....it's crazy, but its our Thanksgiving. We always complain, but .....this is what we do and we generally find some laughs. And I guess we wouldn't have it any other way. As my kids say, we love it once we survive it.

    If only there weren't some people who seem to have the need to inject drama in every situation.....

    But that gives us stuff to talk about!
  • alhalh Registered User Posts: 8,054 Senior Member
    My adult children and their partners and one of their friends -(hooray! xmas,too, I'm the luckiest mom) and since the "kids" said they would prefer it to be limited this year (announcement???) only two other couples, very close family friends, who spend every Thanksgiving with us. This is the smallest Thanksgiving I have ever done in my adult life. However, I want to keep those "kids" coming in whenever they please and whatever they request I will do my best to oblige. Totally blissed out how lucky I've been so far:)

    ellebud: How are you setting your table(s)?
  • stradmomstradmom Registered User Posts: 4,658 Senior Member
    Who's coming over for the holidays?

    We are.

    We're the family members who live just far enough away to come in for the day, sleep on the pullout couch and generally disrupt your life for 24 hours. We bring a token gift, eat your food, make you wait for your bathroom, and park in front of your driveway. We'll probably say something inadvertently offensive and at least one of us will have dietary requirements that will challenge your creativity.

    But we truly appreciate the effort you're putting forth and we're delighted that you put up with us every year.

    Oh, and we'll leave something behind that you have to mail back to us next week.
  • intparentintparent Registered User Posts: 29,501 Senior Member
    Ah, ellebud, if I remember correctly it is much easier if your MIL is not there! I am going to see my parents this year. D1 is a busy young professional working in a city across the country, and D2 is with her dad this year... so I am making the 10 hour drive to my parents' house. Probably dinner at my brother & sister-in-law's house, as mom is not up for making a turkey any more. And will make every attempt to avoid college admissions as a topic over the weekend.
  • snowballsnowball Registered User Posts: 2,706 Senior Member
    Thanksgiving has been at my house for the last 25 years as both my family and my husbands are all local. My SIL use to alternate which family she spent Thanksgiving with, but since her in laws have since pasted, she comes here now. I have a cousin that is married with 3 kids that come on town every so often, but are not coming this year. My aunt and uncle are going on a cruise for my aunts 70th birthday, so for the first time ever, they will not be here. Another cousin has a married daughter and they have decided that it was time to do their own Thanksgiving with her daughter's husband's family. So... this is a very small group for me this year; we are at 16 adults and 4 kids, 1,3,8 and 10. We have had as many as 31 and one year we just had 13.

    Actually there were 2 years in the last 25 that Thanksgiving was not at my house. 20 years ago I had a lumpectomy for breast cancer and came home from the hospital on Thanksgiving day, so this is my 20 year anniversary :) About 10 years ago my husband thought it would be a great idea to put the grill racks from our outside gas grill in the oven and use the self clean setting as we grill a tenderloin for Turkey Day. Well, my oven blew out and we couldn't get the part before Thanksgiving. My mother took over for me, but we uninvited my husbands extended family as it was too much for my mother.

    This will be the first year my kids will not be here so I am not as excited to host. My daughter is working in London and my son is in his intern year and does not get the holiday off :(
  • mathmommathmom Registered User Posts: 29,612 Senior Member
    I have bullied my entire side of the family to go attend the big Thanksgiving with all the relatives. I think we all have the same great, great Grandfather. It's held at a church. It's been about five years I think since I've attended one of these, I enjoy them, but some people think the food is better at home (true) or that it's easier not to drive to Boston (also true). Anyway it seemed like a good year to do it since my kid who wants to see his friends at Thanksgiving is in Jordan and therefore won't be put out. We actually need to find out if there are empty beds at my brother's or if we should rent some rooms at the local inn.
  • blueiguanablueiguana Registered User Posts: 7,496 Senior Member
    We are the picture next to the definition of disfunction. For Thanksgiving we are lucky that S2 goes to school close enough that I can go retrieve him for a few days. We're hoping his rm will be joining us again this year (he does on most breaks he doesn't go home). My mother up and moved to another state rather unannounced so who knows what she's doing. We always go to my SILs who is about an hour away. She'll call in a week or so and give me a few dishes to bring. My in-laws will be there as well (about an hour the other direction). I'll bring a few extra dishes because no matter how many times I ask that any bacon be put on the side of the mashed potatoes instead of in them, etc. because S2's rm keeps kosher they don't listen. Bacon ends up in everything...stuff that never seemed to have bacon before. It's nbd, just frustrating that something soooo simple rushes right over their heads. Last year my MIL handed the rm an advent calendar when she gave one to all the other 'grandkids'. Mom, they don't celebrate Christmas in his family, they celebrate Hanukkah. Oh, this is Santa...it's different. Everyone celebrates Santa. :eek: Good think S2's rm is a gem and just rolls with it. We love him!
  • PhotoOpPhotoOp Registered User Posts: 1,194 Senior Member
    blue - I think that's sweet your mom remembered the rm - even if it was the wrong religion.

    snow - Your 13 is probably more than I've seen in one family setting in years - we're doing 4 this year. Myself, my hubby, and his parents. That's it - my daughter is in London as well. But she'll be home for Christmas and that's when we're having our "big" party - 7 people in all. I don't know how we'll do it!
  • swimcatsmomswimcatsmom Registered User Posts: 15,649 Senior Member
    I'm guessing we'll be 4 plus the cat - me and my husband and our daughter and her husband. Not sure if it will be Thanksgiving day or the day after - getting a definitive answer in advance from my daughter and her H is a bit like nailing jello to a tree. Christmas we are going to visit my son who lives 1200 miles away. It is the first Christmas since he moved that he is not scheduled to work Christmas day, but if they offer him overtime he will probably take it as it would be big dollars and he does not like to turn money down (double time for the 12 hour shift plus 8 hours for the holiday). Have not decided if we will try and cook a Christmas dinner at his apartment or see if there is a nice dinner out somewhere. Kind of like the latter idea assuming he is not working. He is back to work the day after Christmas and we will return home and celebrate Christmas with daughter and husband a couple of days late. Feel a little guilty about not being here for Christmas for her, but not very as last year they spent Christmas day with his family and celebrated with us the day after (which was fine), so same thing this year except we all know the plans more than 2 days in advance and it will be 2-3 days later.
  • intparentintparent Registered User Posts: 29,501 Senior Member
    Either "sweet" or passive-aggressive. Hard to tell without knowing the MIL.
  • MaineLonghornMaineLonghorn Super Moderator Posts: 31,341 Super Moderator
    My husband's younger brother is coming all the way from Minnesota, with his wife and three kids (who are about 15, 19, and 23) - they have never visited, although we've lived in Maine for 26 years. Also, my husband's older sister and her three grown sons. Everyone is staying from Wednesday night until Sunday morning. I am not a domestic person, to put it mildly, When I talked to my SIL a few weeks ago, she offhandedly said, "Of course, I invited my usual cast of friends..." Oh, my gosh!!! I thought she was kidding. She was not. Her two brothers are not thrilled with her. Anyway, including my family, we will have about 20 people, plus our elderly collie and Australian shepherd puppy. I'm just trying not to think about it.
  • blueiguanablueiguana Registered User Posts: 7,496 Senior Member
    PhotoOp - It's actually my MIL. Sweet in a way I guess. I'm very sensitive to not respecting others traditions. She's just barrels blazing forward with blinders that there's anyone in the world that does things in a different way. It's been a bone of contention for years. She's Danish and has never respected my American traditions as viable traditions...they're just American after all. I like to combine the two, as does DH, so my kids have an appreciation for both families heritage. This always gets comments and corrections, as if something I did the American way was a mistake. ;)

    intparent - LOL!!! She's got passive-aggressive down to a science. In this case I think she just wasn't thinking...like usual. But in my mind that's just rude to not recognize someone else's different way of doing something when you've been told several times. She likes things to be equal is what she hides behind...noooo she just likes to do things her way. You can be equal and respectful. When I sent S2 his Easter Basket I simply sent his rm a nice collection of candy he likes and small gifts in a gift bag. Easy.
This discussion has been closed.