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College Yearbooks

lotsofquestslotsofquests 871 replies47 threads Member
I am not sure if this is going to be a rant or not. When questioned yesterday, my son admitted that he did not get his picture taken for his college yearbook even though I had told him to be sure to do it. He had gone to his appointment on the day it was scheduled but due to one of the many snowstorms, the photographer didn't show up. Son had an interview on the makeup day and didn't bother to reschedule. I am not sure if I am more furious or hurt that he didn't do what I asked when I told him that it was important to H and me. I think I am hoping that some of you will tell me that I am overreacting and that college yearbooks are just another unneeded expense that end up collecting dust after the initial look through. H and I both went to a small LAC back in the dark ages and yearbooks were important. I am guessing in the digital age, they are not so important to anyone but parents and probably not even that many parents.
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Replies to: College Yearbooks

  • VeryHappyVeryHappy 18609 replies326 threads Senior Member
    Not that important. As long as you have a photo of your son in his cap and gown, that's all you need.
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  • lotsofquestslotsofquests 871 replies47 threads Member
    I will definitely have a picture in the cap and gown. He had just texted me that he had picked it up when I texted back and asked about the yearbook.
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  • TonyKTonyK 1108 replies26 threads Senior Member
    There were many seniors who did not get their picture taken in my son's class including him. His yearbook was lame with the bare minimum information for each student and little else. What a disappointment. His high school yearbook was much better.

    Is it because there are more graduating seniors in a typical college class?
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  • mamommamom 3683 replies24 threads Senior Member
    I don't think it is as important as a high school yearbook. Unlike HS where your son probably knew everyone in his class, he probably only knows a small portion of the kids at his college. It doesn't have the same sense of community. Sorry it didn't work out, but I wouldn't stress about something you cannot change.
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  • oldfortoldfort 23006 replies292 threads Senior Member
    I don't think D1 has a college year book.
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  • emeraldkity4emeraldkity4 34785 replies1076 threads Senior Member
    I didn't even know they had them.
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  • sseamomsseamom 4880 replies25 threads Senior Member
    Colleges have yearbooks? I had no idea. I certainly didn't get one. And why would YOU care-the yearbook is for the students and will go in a box in the garage in a year or two until it gets lost in some move along the way. You want a picture of your kid on graduation day or a formal pose in the cap and gown for YOU to hang somewhere. You got that. While I did not get s yearbook since I had no idea they existed, I do have several candid shots of my closest friends and some taken with my parents and siblings in my cap and gown. THOSE I treasure. Let.it.go.
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  • powercropperpowercropper 1678 replies73 threads Senior Member
    In the whole scheme of life, this is just a hiccup. Really. And it sounds like your son did make the effort and showed up at his scheduled appointment time. And having an interview on picture makeup day is a valid excuse. So don't mention it again to him, and let him know how proud you are of his hard work in college. Hug 'em and Love 'em even when things don't go your way.

    I am learning that so many things are no longer in my control with a child in college. Easy in theory to understand the concept of children growing up and becoming independent, harder in reality to accept you no longer have a vote in many of their choices.
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  • sseamomsseamom 4880 replies25 threads Senior Member
    It's struck me many times on this board that one thing some parents today have forgotten is that when WE went to college, there was pretty much NOTHING under our own parents' control. There was no internet, no smartphones, no 24/7 tethering to home. In fact, most of my dorm mates didn't have phones at all-you lined up in the lobby to use a pay phone. Parents called and left messages with whoever answered and hope you would get the message. I think that many of us DID grow up sooner, and were more independent sooner because of this.

    Today we can, if we want to, actually use our kids' phones to track where they are at every moment. Apparently with some programs we can read every text they get or send. We can see not only their grades but their assignments and whether they've been handed in. We know more about our 20-something adult children's lives than our parents knew about ours in grade school. And I think we've ALL suffered. You see articles about kids taking longer to mature, to marry, to have kid of their own. And I think it's because we simply haven't allowed it.
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  • Emaheevul07Emaheevul07 5890 replies76 threads Senior Member
    We really glorify taking longer to grow up most of the time, I think all the extra involvement by parents is just a little piece of that. Kids take longer to mature, to marry, to have their own kids because we tell them that's not what they're supposed to be doing with their 20's anymore.

    I understand why you're disappointed. I don't even know if my university had a yearbook, a few years post college we are so much more interested in pics of the first place, and now wedding photos and the like. This won't feel as big later on as it does now and I think you will be satisfied with a cap and gown photo. Your S was probably really busy and had a lot going on and this just didn't work out.
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  • saxsax 5272 replies156 threads Senior Member
    I'm impressed he even showed up the first time. That was probably done just for you which was very nice of him.
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  • justforthisjustforthis 460 replies10 threads Member
    None of my 3 have a college yearbook; if their colleges did have one, my kids kept it quiet from me! I understand you are upset because he ignored your request even after you stressed how important it was for you. I have faced some of this, especially with my S who makes the decision that even though I think something is important, he believes it shouldn't be and therefore doesn't do it. I am getting the message and making adjustments accordingly. Don't let it color your relationship; it's not worth it if you think of the big picture.
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  • lotsofquestslotsofquests 871 replies47 threads Member
    Thanks for the responses which pretty much say what I already knew. I knew about the yearbook because the company sent the info to the parents. They obviously knew that the parents would be more interested than the students. While I am disappointed, I know in the long term it isn't a big deal. He hinted before Christmas that he would have a professional portrait done by his boss's wife since he never had senior pictures taken in high school. In high school he had to use the school's chosen photographer in the spring of junior year for his senior yearbook. We didn't like the pictures and planned to get others done but never did. If he hasn't done the portrait, I will forget about the yearbook but insist that he schedules with the photographer.

    Thanks CC; it is so much better to let my frustrations out online than in a phone call to my son.
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  • emeraldkity4emeraldkity4 34785 replies1076 threads Senior Member
    I wish my kids would have portraits done, oldest didn't even have a photographer at her wedding, I think her sister took pictures with her cell phone.
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  • saxsax 5272 replies156 threads Senior Member
    One Xmas I told the kids that was all I wanted. I told them they could even go to Sears portrait studio like we did when they were little and it wouldn't cost much.

    They dressed up.They went on their own. I got my "surprise" pics and could not have been happier. They had some pretty funny comments about what they went through to do it and it was yet another bonding moment for them as siblings.

    You can always request for moms day or your birthday.
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  • romanigypsyeyesromanigypsyeyes 33391 replies767 threads Senior Member
    The yearbooks are pretty useless- especially if you're at any decently sized university. I don't know anyone who actually got their pictures taken for our U's yearbook and I randomly have a yearbook from 2010 but I graduated in 2013.

    There are many reasons why yearbooks are not a huge deal in college: you don't all start and end in the same year like you generally do in high schools, clubs and events aren't organized like they are in high schools, universities are generally much, much larger than high schools, etc.

    I don't think asking your kids to do a portrait is asking too much though. I think that's a pretty reasonable request especially if you've footed the bill for the last ~4 years.
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  • PackMomPackMom 7650 replies17 threads Senior Member
    Neither of my sons got college yearbooks. No portraits either.

    We took a lot of pics at graduation.
    oh, and S2's big state university had a photographer stationed right by the stage at graduation. So when each grad came down the steps, he snapped a pic. A proof was sent in the mail. The $11.00 5x7 pic was one of the best S2 has ever had...way better than those pricey h,s, portraits.
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  • momof3sonsmomof3sons 4968 replies148 threads Senior Member
    I guess I'm in the minority here. We did get info about the photo shoot at home and, of course, the kids got it at their colleges. (I have two graduating this year.) I asked them both to please get their pictures taken and they both did. The pix are actually great, I ordered some copies and I have given copies to Grandma, relatives who live a distance away and haven't seen them in a while and I carry copies in my wallet. :) At one kid's LAC, they don't have to pay extra for the yearbook and it actually gets mailed to them in the fall so that springtime activities and graduation can be included in the yearbook. The other kid goes to a small-medium size university and we did have to pay for his yearbook. But, he was involved in a couple of major events in a major way ;), so I think he will be happy to see those events covered. I think that both places will publish pretty exceptional yearbooks, but now I will be curious to see how many of their classmates had photos taken. Interestingly enough, neither school allows pictures in cap & gown to be used in the yearbook.
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  • HuntHunt 26787 replies131 threads Senior Member
    My son got his picture taken for the college yearbook. It arrived at our house about a month ago. That's right--nearly a year after graduation. And it was terrible--like a bad high school yearbook. There was a dumb error in his quote, kids without pictures weren't listed at all, and only a handful of student organizations had pictures. My yearbook from the same college 30 years ago wasn't great, but it was much, much better than this. I think college yearbooks have just fallen out of favor in more recent years.

    I made a "yearbook" for my son using pictures I took and also gathered from Facebook and elsewhere, and had printed by one of these online picture companies. It was much better than the official yearbook, and was completely personalized. Also cheaper.
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  • moonchildmoonchild 3266 replies30 threads Senior Member
    I don't know if it has been mentioned, but a lot of colleges and universities are hiring pros to take videos/cds of the ceremony and festivities to sell to the attendees. This might be something to consider if you don't have a yearbook, or even if you do. Ours have been sitting in the cupboard for several years, watched only once, I think. Actually, I think only one has been viewed. Oh well, I hope the technology is still available to view them by the time anyone cares!
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