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Anyone else find Christmas stressful?

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Replies to: Anyone else find Christmas stressful?

  • deb922deb922 5512 replies186 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 5,698 Senior Member
    Just found out that my H is on call Christmas 2019. No idea what will happen next year. The family talked about renting a place in Florida but we won’t be able to go. Whomp, whomp.
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  • FallGirlFallGirl 7978 replies27 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 8,005 Senior Member
    Same here @thumper1 . We traveled to see family some years , but never succeeded in getting any of them to come for Christmas here. It was much more enjoyable after we let it go and did our own thing.
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  • HImomHImom 33854 replies387 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 34,241 Senior Member
    edited December 2018
    We had a very nice holiday season so far. H and I and D all got colds in early December but were able to get over them before S arrived on 12/20. He started a cold 12/25, after being exposed to his young pre-school/K cousins who were at the party sick.

    Fortunately he rested a lot and was able to delay his flight from 12/28 to this morning and fly mostly recovered.

    Other than these little colds, we had a happy holiday season. It was productive as well, as we got the kids to see the allergist, dentist and eye doctor while they were in town.
    edited December 2018
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  • 2VU06092VU0609 3474 replies58 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 3,532 Senior Member
    edited December 2018
    I'm thankful for the Christmas my family enjoyed, but I'd only give it a grade of B. I gave it some thought while I was in the long drive-thru line at Chick-Fil-A earlier and the big positive of it all was having all of my family here. However, it seems that we plan for a month to make a memorable day and it's all over in a flash, particularly as my children have to head over to have Christmas with their dad's family by early afternoon. I really love the whole season, but Christmas Eve and Christmas Day wear me out. The biggest stress is that it's almost time to start meal prep for the next meal as soon as we finish one. I ran the dishwasher more in 4 days than I run it in a month by myself and hand washed so much stuff that can't go in the dishwasher.

    14 month old grand-daughter is teething and she had the same runny nose that I did, so she was frequently fussy. I love her dearly, but I have missed my beloved Christmas Eve service the last two years because of the way S & DIL plan their arrival. I feel like we got all caught up in the presents & food and lost out on the real focus. Since S wants to have Christmas for grand-daughter at their home next year, our family's celebration will be different and I think I will be okay with that. I'm ready to transition from being the chief cook and planner and to shift to a role of visiting parent with one or both kids. My house is too big for just me, but not big enough for 5 adults, 1 toddler, & 1 large golden doodle (D's dog).
    edited December 2018
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  • ProfessorPlum168ProfessorPlum168 3450 replies68 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 3,518 Senior Member
    edited December 2018
    I personally witnessed 2 very disturbing things at stores in the last 8 days while “Christmas” shopping. Last week, I’m lining up to pay at a store at Stanford Shopping Center and some guy, must have been 75 years old says to the cashier “Merry Christmas” and she replied back “Happy Holidays”. He proceeds to go off on the cashier, calling her all kinds of names and starts blabbing about how liberals and certain other ethnic groups have taken over, blah blah blah. Security finally had to escort him out.

    Then this morning, I’m lining up at the Apple Store at Valley Fair, waiting in line to get my battery replaced on my iPhone. Some old guy all of a sudden accuses me of cutting in front of him, and continues to rant even though 2 other people told him he was wrong and the Apple person told him he was being very inappropriate. The weird thing is that he starts making racial remarks to me, even though we are of the same ethnicity (Chinese) and he was speaking in broken English as if he practicing swearing for the first time. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or smack him. I said my piece and let him rant. I wished I could say he was drunk but I sensed that that was his normal personality.

    I guess the moral of the story is to not go to high end shopping centers anymore, too many loonies out there.
    edited December 2018
    Post edited by MaineLonghorn on
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  • GlitterbugGlitterbug 21 replies1 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 22 Junior Member
    My heart goes out to those who experienced loss or serious stress over the holidays. I hope that you were able to find moments of peace and that the coming months are lighter.

    This Christmas sucked. So much so that I’ve already got a 13 point bullet list of things that we’re doing differently next year. There will be some balking from my parents, but honestly, I don’t care. One of the main things that we’re doing differently is focusing on giving back and helping those less fortunate. We did some of that this year, but not nearly enough. We’re also scaling way back on the consumerism.

    It always feels like a stressful time of year to me, but this year was especially tough. Making big changes so that it doesn’t happen that way again.
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  • abasketabasket 18718 replies843 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 19,561 Senior Member
    @2VU0609 post above # 79 sounded so much like an echo for me. It does get tired feeling like Christmas time is "the holidays by abasket" - meaning ALL the buying, decorating and omg, ALL the cooking!!! I too LOVE seeing family but with that all comes so much rinse and repeat of meals, dishes, picking up, etc. that I start feeling like an entertaining factory!!

    I've been off since Dec. 21 and I feel like I have been in constant motion since. Tomorrow will be the first day without any obligation - though still plenty to do around the house. I sort of wish we could have the family time without all the intense details! I think I'll be going back to work Jan. 2 feeling almost glad to just be away from the stove and dishwasher!
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  • busdriver11busdriver11 15144 replies28 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 15,172 Senior Member
    edited December 2018
    @2VU0609 post above # 79 sounded so much like an echo for me. It does get tired feeling like Christmas time is "the holidays by abasket" - meaning ALL the buying, decorating and omg, ALL the cooking!!! I too LOVE seeing family but with that all comes so much rinse and repeat of meals, dishes, picking up, etc. that I start feeling like an entertaining factory!!

    Any chance you can just go on a vacation or a cruise next year? Then you won't be involved at all. I would really like to do that. I started shedding responsibilities a couple of years ago. No decorating (my husband and kids do it all), I stopped sending Christmas cards, too. Presents are fairly minor (shopping trip and money for kids, plus a few things), not too much for extended family. It still stresses me out because I'm working a lot around the holidays, and don't feel like shopping, cooking or cleaning at all, but it's better than it has been. However, I would just like to be gone for Christmas, and miss the entire event, personally. Or spend the time and money that I would have otherwise, donating and volunteering for a worthy organization.
    edited December 2018
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  • intparentintparent 36271 replies644 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 36,915 Senior Member
    we got the kids to see the allergist, dentist and eye doctor while they were in town.

    Now that kiddos are out of college, I don't do this any more (their insurance wouldn't even cover it if they wanted to, I think). We used to run around and do these things every time they were home, and it is great now that they are adults with their own insurance that they can do this! (I suppose if a kid under 26 is still on parent insurance, then it makes sense -- but mine are both on insurance through their work). Not that I haven't helped the wee one (23 year old grad student) figure out how to make her first set of appointments this year, because I have. But still, nice to be past that at our house!
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  • Midwest67Midwest67 2783 replies11 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 2,794 Senior Member
    I found it stressful to have to work while the kids were here for Xmas. It didn't feel like I got to spend that much time with them.
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  • HImomHImom 33854 replies387 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 34,241 Senior Member
    I’m just glad that these appointments got done because it’s very easy to just put things off and neglect doesn’t make things better. My kids can see providers where they live and and HI (or elsewhere). D does—don’t believe S does, except for some rate urgent care visits.
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  • oregon101oregon101 5367 replies133 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 5,500 Senior Member
    The season seemed boring to me this year. We did not entertain as usual only having D and family and one friend over.. D and SIL have a 3 month old and are focused (as it should be) on him. D and SIL moved here in August and I am adjusting to having a SIL but mainly to having a very different relationship with D (as it should be). It just was not a laugh out loud time at any point. Next year I expect D and family to travel to the East coast to be with his side and I am already thinking of a place to be other than here. Last year was the first year ever that D was not home so we took S and his family to San Diego returning on Christmas Eve so that they could be with her family on the day.
    It was a better year for me.
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  • abasketabasket 18718 replies843 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 19,561 Senior Member
    Maybe someday we would get to the point of a vacation at Christmas but that would be a family vacation. While I am complaining about the workload - there is definitely appreciation by my kids and family for all I do. I appreciate that. H could probably care less! So I do feel appreciated, just over all the process!! I don't want anything less than being with them all during this time.

    Also my mom (85) "needs" that traditional Christmas and would think a trip would be odd and we could never leave her at the holidays.

    With all the whining above on any of my posts :) I have done some things to reduce the Christmas stress - cut out cards years ago, rope in my kids to help with the cookie baking, reduce the indoor decorating, etc.

    Now I feel on the other side...WHO'S TAKING THIS TREE AND OTHER DECORATIONS DOWN?! ME!!! (probably on New Year's Day)
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  • musicmom1215musicmom1215 2634 replies54 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 2,688 Senior Member
    Our family does not exchange gifts so there is no stress of shopping. I give my kids a little cash, though. A couple of years ago, I started buying "prizes" for the forced-family-fun games that I make them play. By my rules, everyone leaves with a "prize" which I don't consider a gift because it was not purchased with any one person in mind. (btw--it is very difficult to buy prizes suitable for every age and gender. The biggest hit this year was a box of 10 scratch-off lottery tickets.) My stress comes from working full time and still having to clean and cook and worry that I'm forgetting something. And then clean up the mess before going to work the day after.

    I have been divorced for 22 years. When the kids were small, they went to their dad's every other Thanksgiving. My mom and I went to Las Vegas the Thanksgivings that the kids were not here. There were always tons of people in Las Vegas, so apparently a lot of people "go away" for holidays.
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