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Gender reveal

GTalumGTalum 3079 replies25 threads Senior Member
I work at a small office and one of the women is pregnant. She had an ultrasound and today, we are supposed to wear a particular color shirt: Pink if we think it's a girl and blue if we think it's a boy. I never heard about such things as gender reveal parties until recently (is this new?) and I struggle with celebrating this cultural phenomenon. My daughter has many trans, non gender, and gender fluid friends who have been hurt and by their family and others because of non-gender conformity.

I struggle with putting so much value on biological sex. People seem so invested in the gender of a child which makes it so much for difficult for the non-conforming individual. But, it's a small office and if I don't participate, I worry I will hurt the woman who is pregnant. I can't say "I forgot" as I just received a text reminding me. I feel I should say something, but don't know how. Any advice?
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Replies to: Gender reveal

  • twoinanddonetwoinanddone 24497 replies19 threads Senior Member
    I really don't think you are being disrespectful to your daughter's friends by picking a gender in a game. Play or don't, but I don't think it is a big deal.
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  • skieuropeskieurope 40797 replies7569 threads Super Moderator
    (is this new?
    No, nor is the controversy.
    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/03/12/gender-reveals-gender-identity-cisgender/98535822/

    But probably not the most productive use of your time to view this as a teaching lesson.

    Personally, I'd just opt with some version of a "Pink or Blue We Love You" shirt.
    https://www.zazzle.com/pink_or_blue_we_love_you_t_shirt-235769109506693007
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  • garlandgarland 16415 replies206 threads Senior Member
    edited December 2018
    I second purple. In my S's office, there was one of these. There were pink or blue beads to wear depending on what you thought. He put on both, I believe. Very good relationship with the coworker, but he wasn't having any of this silliness (he's a charmer and can get away with it.)

    My D was just showing us the cavalcade of pink her kid's been given since she was born four weeks ago. It's insane. She said if there was a way to keep the baby's gender secret longer, she'd have tried to do so. All the pre-birth presents are charmingly unisex and unfrilly. If she dresses her in anything but pink, anyone who doesn't know assumes she's a boy.

    Funny McSweeney's on the topic:

    https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/congratulations-its-a-pink

    And eye-opening video about how people react to boys/girls:

    https://www.bbc.com/news/av/magazine-40936719/gender-specific-toys-do-you-stereotype-children

    As you can see, I've been thinking about this a lot!

    edited December 2018
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  • techmom99techmom99 3513 replies6 threads Senior Member
    I understand your concerns about gender fluidity but unless you have someone with gender identity differences at your small office, people wearing pink or blue for one day is probably not something that will upset or offend too many people. I like the idea of the "Pink or Blue" shirt noted above.

    I, personally, don't get the fascination with finding out early, short of sex based genetic defects. I refused to find out for my first 4. When I was pregnant with my 5th and last, I found out, but shared it with nobody. The only reason I found out was because D, who was then turning 7, kept begging for a sister after 3 brothers. When I learned #5 was another boy, I was able to tailor my responses to her appropriately. Other than that, I would have never found out.

    I remember a friend and his wife let his dad, who was recently widowed, find out the baby's sex early. After the baby was born, the new grandpa told me he was sorry he had asked for that favor. It caused him to have to parse every word he said to his son and DIL during her pregnancy and, as thrilled as he was to have a beautiful grand-daugther named after his late wife, he would have been happier with a surprise.

    I guess I just don't get the whole gender reveal thing.
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  • GreymeerGreymeer 916 replies16 threads Member
    Grey goes with everything.
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  • bookwormbookworm 9212 replies73 threads Senior Member
    I like the t-shirt skieurope meTioned. If I worked in an office with lots of young people, I’d make that investment.
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  • garlandgarland 16415 replies206 threads Senior Member
    Yikes for sure, @IBviolamom!
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  • bhs1978bhs1978 685 replies12 threads Member
    I certainly didn't read that anyone was being forced to participate. If you don't believe in celebrating a "personal life" happiness in the work setting then don't participate.
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  • JustaMom5465JustaMom5465 1644 replies82 threads Senior Member
    When D was pregnant I had a chat with my very liberal, politically correct S about gender reveal. Evidently, according to him, you can find out the sex of the baby but not the gender (since gender is fluid).

    Not sure it is accurate or even generally accepted but that's how it was explained to me.

    But, op, I wouldn't stress to much about a one day game.....
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  • momofthreeboysmomofthreeboys 16651 replies66 threads Senior Member
    Sure fine sex of baby. Won’t use the word gender...oopsie.
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  • yucca10yucca10 1403 replies40 threads Senior Member
    I don't see why existence of transgender or gender-fluid people should prevent other people from celebrating their kid's gender as long as they don't make sweeping statements.
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