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Parenting, what value or habit did you instill in your offspring that has had surprising payback?


Replies to: Parenting, what value or habit did you instill in your offspring that has had surprising payback?

  • MansfieldMansfield 802 replies2 threadsRegistered User Member
    This might sound a little old-fashioned, but both my kids will tell you that I drilled into them the power of a written thank you note. S landed a prestigious fellowship because the head of the organization was very impressed by the sincere/ handwritten/on good stationery note he sent after a day long interview. I was impressed that he actually knew how to address the envelope and that he had a stamp available.
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  • CreeklandCreekland 5754 replies89 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Enjoy the Great Outdoors - and take care of it so your kids and grandkids can enjoy it too

    Remember we're all in this (life) together - consider the birth lottery and help your fellow human as you can

    Love your neighbor as yourself - coupled with everyone is your neighbor

    Things are just things

    I think that mostly covers it.
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  • momofsenior1momofsenior1 7259 replies56 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Don't procrastinate.

    Be punctual.

    Work ethic.

    Don't spend more than you can afford right this minute.
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  • conmamaconmama 4258 replies315 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited December 2018
    I’m really not sure how I could have taught my kids some things. But it pleased me to no end when I saw one of my sons get up and offer an older person his seat, or when another greets an adult first, with a handshake and a Mr./Mrs. and is so at ease doing so. (ok, that I drilled that one).
    edited December 2018
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  • Happytimes2001Happytimes2001 1375 replies10 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Our kids are have good manners ( my spouse) , are rarely late (me) , see both sides of every argument (me), love to read (both) and are fierce (both). They love competition ( that's me) and they aren't procrastinators ( that's my spouse). They never ever give up (both of us).
    When people tell me great things about them, I'm always a little surprised.
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  • VeryHappyVeryHappy 18517 replies324 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited December 2018
    Both my kids are frugal.

    Both my kids work hard. They are not afraid of it and know how to do it when they have to.

    Both my kids work out just about every day and are very fit.

    I'd like to think those traits come from me and DH.
    edited December 2018
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  • 1214mom1214mom 4547 replies180 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Paying of credit card every month - yes.
    I found it interesting that today my son who is VERY frugal (eats oats with yogurt or milk twice a day and he makes plenty of money) chose to buy a very expensive bed.
    Morale of that story is “pay attention to how you are spending your money, but it’s OK to treat yourself now and then.”
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  • kiddiekiddie 3408 replies216 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    My daughter has gotten from us to be frugal, kind, enjoy reading, work hard, have a quirky sense of humor, and basic common sense.
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  • downtoearthdowntoearth 3402 replies19 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    both of my daughters have a strong moral compass and standards. both are loyal and hard workers. but both are much more frugal than me. One writes TY notes the other does not. Both read incessantly. Both picked good men like their dad
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  • abasketabasket 19329 replies859 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Well,I went to the offspring source and posed this question - who could answer it better than the offspring themselves?!

    I've heard from 2 out of 3 with the 3rd vowing to chime in later. So far here is what they tell me:

    D2 says like me she is a good listener, caring individual and is a sympathetic/empatheitc advice giver but only to a certain point. In other words, empathetic but also action oriented - her example: "I hear you and I am listening but now how are you going to move forward with this?"

    S says his favorite thing I taught him - which was his LEAST favorite thing as a kid - is to not dwell on negatives. If something bad/wrong happened, address it right away. Look for the positive spin.

    S also said that from me he learned the value of managing time. He says I (in his words) "MAXES OUT the hours she is awake! From work to home tasks to exercise you have taught me to maximize the day and then value some time at night as a reward to relax and unwind."

    I'll add later if/when I hear from D1. These kinds of questions are SO the kind of thing we ask/talk about all the time. My kids are chatters. :)
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  • abasketabasket 19329 replies859 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Third offspring weighed in. :)

    D1 says I taught her to have an optimistic and positive outlook. She says "Mom doesn't have rainbows and bubbles coming out of her a_s, but she has taught me to approach life glass half full." She also said I have taught her to celebrate "small wins" - even when things aren't going as planned.

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  • busdriver11busdriver11 15242 replies28 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited December 2018
    The positive values I think they picked up were to be kind, never bully or support bullies, be skeptical, open minded, and realize that if you want something accomplished in your life that it is you that needs to make it happen.

    A negative thing they may have picked up from me when I didn't realize it,"If someone needs to get paid for doing nothing, it may as well be me". Oops. I'm hoping that translated to working smart :-O
    edited December 2018
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  • websensationwebsensation 2106 replies39 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited December 2018
    Pray to God before doing anything important — my spouse. Life passes quickly — both of us.

    From me:

    Do everything with care and pride.

    Learn to not take for granted what’s important to you.

    Learning theories takes brain but learning to apply theories is an art and takes guts and experience.
    edited December 2018
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  • TheGreyKingTheGreyKing 2152 replies101 threadsForum Champion Williams College Forum Champion
    Our son has intellectual curiosity and loves to learn and to explore and debate ideas.

    He also is willing to question so-called authorities and orthodoxies, to study issues, and to arrive at his own opinions.

    He treats others with kindness and respect. He has genuine empathy.

    “Instill” has a variety of shades of meaning. We did not instill anything in our child by the definition “teach and impress by frequent repetitions or admonitions.” We never set a single rule, never scolded or corrected or punished him, never needed to! By the definition of “instill” as “impart gradually,” I guess maybe we did so by how we lived our lives and how we listened to, loved, and respected him, so that his qualities were a natural outgrowth of his life. But maybe even that is giving too much credit to us as parents. He is who he is, because of himself— the finest person I know!
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  • katliamomkatliamom 12808 replies167 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    The rejuvenating, eye-opening, mind-expanding value of travel, the more exotic (and independent) the better.
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  • HouseChatteHouseChatte 700 replies1 threadsRegistered User Member
    Maybe not-so-surprising payback, but both sons have had food allergies since early childhood. We always checked labels, questioned servers and chefs, contacted manufacturers, etc., to get complete information about what they ate before they ate it. They now have the healthy expectation of total disclosure about whatever impacts them, whether medically, financially, emotionally. They value transparency in both directions and are forthright, thorough, scrupulous men.
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